random moment

There

will

always

be

that

random

moment

when

you

suddenly

smile

for

weird

reason.

I

am

melting

right

here

and

 put

 all

the

 blame

 to

you

:[

beach and you, inseparable. :)

You know what I miss?

I miss the beach.

I miss sitting at the balcony by the beach,

Watching over sunrise with you

While we are eating scrambled eggs and toasted bread with cup of coffee I've made for you

After Subuh jemaah together in the early morning

Discussing about our future

While I smile at you and you smile at me continuously

Once a while you hold my hands and kiss my cheeks

Nodding to what I've said.

Then, we make a morning walk from end to end of the beach, playing by the seaside

Scribbling our names on the sands,

I love that and I miss that. I said 'miss' although it has never happened before.

Because I want to miss about it everyday.

 I want to make it as our routine later when we have free time.

Escaping from busy life of a doctor, and find a getaway near the beach

With only you. Just you. You know who you are. :)

E- Day :) 24/8/2013

Alhamdulillah selesai semuanya :) Doakan yang terbaik untuk kami k semua :)

=)

Terharu nya :")

Thank you Allah :) 

May this love is permanent and grant us with your blessings, 

with numbers of pious children of ours  

and let our loves be towards You & You only 

till our last breath insyaAllah amin :)

10.

Us. :) 

Is 10 is our lucky number? :)

Doctor has no life is it?

Salam Ramadhan. Hey, all of a sudden just now, I have this thought about what am I gonna be a year later? Am I going to be a good doctor who treats patients well? Or am I gonna regret of getting into medical school? Or am I gonna complain about every single things that a doctor will face like lack of sleep, lack of nice food, and tonnes of works to be done? At this point of time, I don't have any idea what doctor I will become. Actually, LESS THAN A YEAR, I will be a doctor and I will be having Dr. title in front of my name. Dr. Nurul Fitrilina Bt Mustapa. What kind of doctor I will become, only Allah knows. I just hope and pray that I can be a very good doctor, never put a sigh in everything I do, keep on remembering THE ONE up there even in a busy day and do this job with an open heart and maintain the honesty. I know it's going to be hard, in fact if, Allah's will and I will be getting married even before housemanship, and by the time I will become a doctor, I will have to sacrifice a lot. Despite of busy works at the hospital with the on-call and all, I have to take care of my husband, make sure he gets what he needs, loves him and never tired of my responsibility. And again if Allah's will, if I get pregnant during housemanship too, a lot of things I have to bear. With my tired body with the baby kicking inside, I still have to take care of the patients too, never ever regret of what has destined.

Ya Allah, I know it is going to be hard, based on seniors' experiences I have seen, what they have put in their facebook statuses telling about how busy everyday is and how regret they entered medical school before, I can never give up. please Ya Allah give me strength and courage, to bear with this, and to hold this responsibilities as a doctor, as a Muslim in a good way possible, not only me but of course to my future husband too(insyaALLAH) so that we can be strong facing the hard time in future about the busy life as doctors and your slaves. I know, in fact, even now I have to get used to this busy life, make sure I don't mix the emotions with the works and I really have to do that, as I am known person who is so emotionally attached.

May Allah ease our journey, to my future husband and my friends too, so that we can be very good Muslim doctors in future to help ummah. Amin :)

Mirrors

I know I have mentioned about this: There are two things that made me so easily shed my tears off. You and my family. And it's obviously, undeniably true. Even a single little thing, don't even relate to me, I will cry or maybe the least is, my eyes get just watery a bit. It hurts you know when something wanders your heart but you are not able to let out to others as it is about your family. Even worse is, when you can't tell your family about what you've been feeling as you don't want to hurt them or you want to burden them.

One solution now is, let me put a distance a bit from them, because I know, hearing their voice is just enough to make me cry. I don't want them to know. I really don't want them to know. Then, tak balik it is. Stuck here then, it's okayy fit.. you are strong enough for this :')

#np Mirrors- Justin Timberlake

Aren't you somethin' to admire, cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always parallell on the other side


Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong


Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me


Aren't you somethin', an original, cause it doesn't seem merely assembled
And I can't help but stare cause I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you, you reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time


Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong


Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me


Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me


Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me


You are you are the love of my life


Baby you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are


You are you are the love of my life

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are you are the love of my life

a lot of difference

It wasn't like this way when it was about others, but when it is you, I am so emotionally attached. As in when things go too much of a great things, or even if things go wrong, my tears tank easily get filled. It is not when we are in this relationship, it happened even before than that. It just happened even when I got to know you, when we were teenagers back then, or when we were so young, still in the fairytale kinda things. (as for me). I, sometimes, questioned myself, when you were not yet mine, and when I was confused with my feelings, and when I didn't know whether you really have a 'thing' for me or not, I questioned myself did you the right one for me? Did you my soul mate, the word I keep hearing in a movie, even in what people's say. I prayed and asked THE ONE up there, was he really soul mate of mine? Because I didn't want things to be happening before. I made a lot of mistakes. I did. I easily got dumped. Yes, I knew it was kinda a weakness I have, that I told you already, but that was it. That was about it. Not once or not twice I've been in the same shoes over and over again. I've been there for quite so many times, and even my friends noticed it and they advised me not to easily put trust on men. Because you know, they are men. Men and their lies can't be separated or men with their sweet words are best friends. (I'm not talking about all men, it was about most of the men. :) But with you, it was different. I knew that. I knew that all along. But ever since all those mistakes I made, I tend not to easily put trust on men and that's why I think having crush on you back then was a mistake.

Truth to be told, things happened, explained itself. And yes, you are really really different from those men out there, or those men I've ever been with. You are different. And yes, it is in a good way. And here you are, with me, and still counting, insyaALLAH and ameen I shall say. :)

I don't know why I put this one up, or why this kind of post was produced. Maybe because this simple thing that happened, I couldn't go out with you having western food that I've been dreaming eating since morning, craving for it, but it turned out that, yeahh you couldn't make it. And just yet, the tank of tears filled all of a sudden. And that was why this post was published.

 One thing to stress here, even a small little thing does shake my emotion when it is about you, either good or sad one :") *P/s: Never mind , I am just fine, maybe next time we can have our western food together please? I am so craving of it. And yet for tonight, maggi it is :) It's okay, as long as my stomach is filled.

That's all I'm outta here, because I'm gonna make my dinner. Salam

ALF 13

Salam I bid to everybody. I just came back from eating outside with my friends, actually it was supposed to be group night out but since everybody suddenly cancelled last minute, only four of us (all girls) went having our dinner outside. Anyway, the reason I am going to write today because I want to express what I've been feeling lately.

Last weekend was one of the greatest weekend I have ever had. :) And I don't have to explain much am I? :)
Spending two days with you, and together with my siblings gave me such a great feeling and I was so happy. ;) And that was the first weekend ever, I had a special date with you. Special on our special kind of way. And lots of things we've been talking and discussed like matured adults. :) yes we are, as we are turning 24 already. (by the way, you are 24 already :P). We discussed about our future, you talked, I listened, and when I talked you listened patiently. We had our plan, and so much plans ahead, and may Allah ease our way and may the plans will end with success.

One of my wish since I knew you and since I was attracted to you. I want to be your legal wife. I want to be the mother of your children. I want to be the person you share your joys, sadness and the person you are happy with till the end of your life. And Alhamdulillah we are turning into it. I hope whatever decision after this raya, is the best for us, and I hope Allah ease our way, and I am ready for it and I hope you too ;)

And for the first time, I feel so happy with this decision, only He knows how much smiles I have in this heart, if you may know. And for that, being someone's else wife isn't easy. It's too much responsibilities I have to bear and I have to take care of my husband's well being and I have to pour enough love to him. By that, I mean, I have to improve so many things in life, in doing household chores as I knew I might be busy after this being as a doctor. For whatever reason, I should put that aside, and I still have to take care of him, my husband. And for that, I should improve everything within this four months (insyaAllah if Allah's will).

• I should learn to cook well (you always said I didn't know much about cooking;p) because I don't want my husband to be so skinny after the marriage hehe, 
• I'm gonna have to change my sleep pattern. Wake up early and make a proper breakfast. (as for me and you as I too need this proper breakfast to prevent recurrence of hypotension as what has happened today).;p. 
• I'm gonna take care of his heart, trying to limit my daily or weekly merajuk, and only merajuk for special occasions. (eh bleh plak cmni kan hahahah, and if you read this, I AM SURE you gonna tell me this over and over again hahah)
• Save my money for good things :)
• Last but not least, the MOST IMPORTANT one, is to improve myself, for a better muslimah insyaAllah. I knew I lack a lot of things about this, I have so many weakness, but as Ramadhan is getting nearer and nearer, I want to improve my salah, my ibadah and Allah, please ease my way please :") I want to be a good wife and good muslimah too . :)

And that is for now. Gonna write later if I have the extra things to be done, but forget to tell you. Please pray for me and him , and may Allah ease our way for good deed. Amin.

Our story maybe?

"Will you tell me how much that costs?" I asked him, hoping that he would tell me the truth. He looked at me, drew a smile on his face. :)

"Well dear, the cost doesn't matter. :) Keep it till the rest of your life."

And I wondered a bit, what the hell wrong with him, giving me those things which I guessed would be very very very expensive. A simple, yet beautiful ring ever, written two letter on top of the ring. I stared on the ring few times. And finally, I took and wore it. Nice. ;)

Many years have passed. We grew old. So do our handsome sons and cute daughters. ( Well, I guess they inherit those beauty from me. ahahahah.) He got thousands of wrinkles on his face, but still, he is the most adorable man on Earth for me. I grew old too. I was not attractive like before, I've got black circles surrounding my eyes, the hairs turned grey, and there were lines of dullness throughout my cheeks. You don't have to wear specs to see those, you could clearly see by your naked eyes. But, what impressed and touched me the most, he kept telling me, " My Lady, you are beautiful just the way you are. And I will always love you." He wasn't that romantic before, but when we got older, he turned into a new romantic fella. Geez. It scared me.:"). And dear love, just so you know, I love you too, although your beard doesn't look charming anymore. =p. i love you till the end of my life, now and forever.:)

The routine went well everyday. From the first day of our marriage 50 years ago. We woke up, having breakfast together, usually bread and butter cause we didn't eat much early morning. I get used to his habit. :)

After that, we changed and exercised a little. Err, most of the time, we jogged around the nearest park. I HATE jogging but, because of him, I followed and truth was, if I were unable to jog, I felt something different in me. Well, this was his influence. Cause once upon a time, he used to say this to me." You are fat. Even fatter than a rhino. You have to exercise. " Urghhhh, he was totally getting into my nerves. But, I knew he never meant to say that to me. :) As time passed by, listening to that sentence everyday was a routine, too. So I didn't mind much. :P

After jogging around the park, we used to sit on one of the benches and watched the lake. You know what, there were hundreds of frogs in the lake cause I could hear the sounds. The FROG. One of the animals that I hated the most, once upon a time. But, again, because of him, I didn't know how, eventually, I could touch the frog using my bare hand. Crazy. He changed my life a lot. :) And there were absolutely no problem at all if I've got to watch The Princess and The Frog at this instance. Thanks to him:)

To reminisce back the past, most of my friends knew that I LOVE EIFFEL TOWER like so much. :) And the sweet thing was, I finally reached there. With no one else, but him, appreciating the town of love with him. Together. And that time, we left our twin children ( they were 2 that time) to my parents. That was the best thing I've ever had.:")

And now, we both are already 75. We've got five children and six grandchildren. Millions of memories are there, between me and him. Hey world, I will always love him till the rest of my life. :) we share everything: happiness, sorrow, joy and tears. And just so you know, appreciate your loved one when you have the chance.:) Don't ever regret it letter.

P/s: This is only a story. No relation to the life of the author. But I hope for the beautiful story like this once. So do you, right? :)