Langkah itu.

Kenapa begitu laju kau berlari tinggalkan aku di belakang?

Langkah kamu terlalu laju, tak mampu aku menapak.

Jangan berlari tinggalkan aku?

Nafas aku mudah tercunggap cunggap

Hati aku mudah retak

Aku sungguh tidak kuat untuk mengejar

Dan tidak mampu untuk aku panggil

Kerana mungkin terlalu kerap kali kau asyik menungguku

Pada nafas aku yang cepat laju

Pada badan yang cepat lelah

Pada emosi yang cepat diganggu

Andai aku tidak mampu panggil,

Janganlah pandang ke belakang dan mencari aku

Mungkin jiwaku sudah diambil Tuhan

Teruskan langkahmu yang laju

Mungkin ada teman yang seiringan dan sekuatmu di depan barangkali

Tidak seperti aku yang langkahnya payah amat

Aku tidak mampu, tidak mahu hentikan langkahmu lagi,

Aku tiada kekuatan itu. 

Doctor :)

Being trapped in a place called destine,

The little steps that curved on the muddy road

It sticks but yet no turning back to a finer one

It's not a halfway journey it's more than it

Maybe about a little step more then we reach the peak

My mind suddenly thinks about how I got here

With childhood ambition and awesome support that preceeded

And those times when I was confused

Either here or there, either this or that,

The decision was tough, yet undescribable fate across it

and along with it, tears of joy and confusion followed

They were there, they wiped the tears that shed, and they never go

And yes, here I am upon all the obstacles that have been filtered

One phase ended, and the other phase continues

It's hard, yes it is, with no second thought or doubt

To face the screams, shouts they gave when I was on the wrong path

To stay wide awake learning new terms and knowledge from a zillion words in the book

To practise touching with care and examining the unfortunate one to heal them 

To decide what should I do to treat them well

And yes, it is my duty, our duty and responsibility,

as we took the oath in sincerity and modesty

To correct what's wrong any means possible 

To relieve what's hurt the most

But, the power of healing of all is to the Almighty we shall seek

Above all. 

Less than a year, I may hold big and grand responsibility 

And to those who afford to face it shall face it

And may He guide our way, and ease us, 

To continue this good deed, till the last breath of ours. 

And yes, this is a story of a doctor, insyaAllah :)s

Life as it is

What your loved ones may have uttered,
Give so much effects on the life, maybe there was just a small tiny little things,
But it matters, it can be as hurting as a deep sharp blade that penetrates the heart..
The marks we've made, may have crossed, cross and never can undo
Trying to put that out of the mind, struggling to ignore is just a total pointless
Because the marks are there, even there, unwashable and cannot trade with a single smile
I've in this state of confusion,
With so many thoughts surround my soul
Unnecessary, stressful thoughts, pre-occupied my mind
It's a troublesome kinda situation
It is.




                                                                                                                        Fit.210213

The Birds, Wind and Leaf

The grasses on the wide field move right and left 24 hours continuously
The chirping of birds is heard, as if they asked for help
The wind that blows as calm as a deep night
When will the nature stops behaving as they used to do?
When will the wind stops blowing?
The truth isn't as nice as it seems
Whether you like it or not, it is there, no power to vanish them all


When a dead leaf falls from the tallest tree,
You may never notice the place where it belongs at first
Because it happens under man's will
It falls then it disappears through the ground,
Again by the blows of wind.

The birds, flying up high early morning looking for food
They never have broken spirit, and they never were
Routine day by day from the start of their hearts pumped
 Till the last breath they can make
How I wish to be like them, the birds
Flying free without thinking of the consequences
Without thinking that one day arrow of huntsman may hit them
They just fight, fight and fight
Let's make that happen
Let's be like the birds
Regardless of the ripped heart and stoned soul
We can be better, yes, better.

One word, the secret one.

It takes me half an hour to think,
Why I have the thought, a hurting one,
My mind is trying to positively judge,
But my heart says otherwise,
That one word, that kills us all if it rules
Women, as a matter of fact possess more,
But, so do the men,
I tear a little, a little, a little
Heart gets soft and progressively brittle
'Don't be ridiculous, this is friendship!'
But, still, a minor ache controls my night
From negative pole, forcing it to be the positive one,
Healing is not a tough process, is it?
Internal monologue of own-self questions
Don't worry, it will heal.,
And for that one word, it will not be revealed,
Let me keep it deep in my dull typical heart of mine. :)

bubbles

I looked at it with a hopeless smile. I kinda miss it, but it didn't want me. at all. I knew, maybe at some points they were all my faults even I didn't know what are they. To buy a new one, I didn't have enough savings, maybe next time. If and only if I have the chance to buy. :p. There are still lots more things I need to do, for example, the JPJ thingy. It would be this Wednesday. Nervous? Can't agree more, that's what lingers in my mind so far, it's not that I don't want to think positive, it's just that I have history back then when it comes to pra- test, if at all you remember. What I will do now, I'll just try my best, later. ( one of my 2012 wishlist : obtain car license) I pray to You, Ya Allah, Ya Mujib, hopefully that all will go well as I wish, I successfully pass in the test, and if let's say, You want to test me, I will accept this with open heart.

To be real honest, I have left driving for about a month, hopefully I still remember all the steps, with regards to parking, hill, three corners, and even route A and B, not to forget C ( even cikgu said, they seldom brought us there). My mind is pre- occupied with so many things recently. So many, to mention it in here, I don't think so. Let it bury in my mind and disappear like the bubbles that come with the waves at the beach. Moga Engkau permudahkan segala urusanku. Amin.

Today, I have something to share, not share but, it's more of, to just mention, it passed by in my mind. Been thinking that it's been such a while I left poetry, maybe I should have started when I have time. A left- handed person like me, used to be labelled as the one that is creative sorts of things. But, to me, I am none of that, I am bad at drawing, singing, and even dancing. I am a little bit have interest in mathematics, but I don't think it is classified as art- thing. Whatever. And, today's VARK questionnaire told me something. I am an AURAL- person. I prefer listening compared to V- Visual, R- Reading, Writing, and K- Kinesthatic. Go and try to do it yourself. :)

Life's like a bubble,
It is there for sometimes,
but it will disappear when you notice,
Varying sizes but with single shape, fragile but round
Looking at it, with a transparent covering,
Unleash what are hidden,
Actualize what are unreal,
If it goes into the air, it looks beautiful and shiny,
Letting me smile with joy for a while,
But once it reaches the top, it's gone,
Like nobody can trace it,
Gone. That way.

...

sungguh, Ya Allah.

Aku kecewa. Kecewa sebab aku tak dapat buat apa-apa.

Kecewa sebab aku tidak punya kuasa untuk berkata.

Andai aku kata, semua sia-sia, tidak diambil pusing, dibiarkan jauh di sudut lain.

Kau tak pernah kisah, tentang aku, tentang insan yang sedarah daging denganmu

Kau asyik dengan cinta, sayang kau pada masa yang tidak tepat,

Kau lupa pada pengorbanan dan perjuangan insan yang bawa kau ke alam ni,

Kau leka, leka dan terus leka, walhal masa terus berputar.

Saat ini, hati aku dah penat untuk terus berkata-kata nasihat,

Aku sudah patah hati sepatahnya,

Buatlah apa yang kau rasa baik, kau rasa elok.

Kau rasa yang boleh menghidupkan kau lagi 50 tahun depan.

Aku akan terus diam, bukan sebab aku benci,

Tapi sebab aku kecewa, dan sudah pasrah.

Maafkan aku, andai aku bukan kakak yang baik untukmu.

Yang ikhlas,

Kakakmu yang terus sayangkan mu. 

new year+ poem

Salam. HAPPY NEW YEAR people! I hope it's not too late to wish! =))) Sorry, not in the mood to blog for the past few days as I busy did something else. Well, just nak berlagak for a while, I passed my computer test! * yeah, the one that you needed to sit in the steps to obtain the driving license* Well, one thing I wanna say, alhamdulillah. =).. Eventhough I did all of that alone by myself, I managed to undergo that. *mula-mula cuak giler kot sebab sorang-sorang..huuu*..

Okay, fine. New year has come. 2011. eh, my bad, it is 2012 ALREADY LA GIRL! And this year, if "long live" I am gonna reach the age of 23. Phewww! About to reach middle of twenties. Feeling matured enough? Well, you judge it by yourself. ;).. Okay, the intro is in English but, the rest of the entry for this time will be in Malay. Yeah, I miss blogging in Malay. ;D

Ha, hello hello. Faham lagi kan? Ada lagi kan korang ni kan baca blog aku? Hihi.. Thanks sebab masih lagi setia dekat Chocolate, walaupun Cekelat ni takdela berinformasi mana pun. Hanyalah lebih kepada aku yang mengarut dekat sini. Lebih kepada luahan perasaan, yang aku tak mampu nak luahkan dekat orang lain, sebab kadang-kadang apa yang aku nak cakap susah nak digambarkan dengan kata-kata.. Hee, sorry konfius sekejap.. :).

Tick tock tick tock sekarang dah pukul 9.00 malam waktu Malaysia. Apa yang aku buat? Aku masih lagi stuck depan lappy mengupdate cekelat., kinda miss him somehow. :").. Hmm, berbalik kepada isu tahun baru, ramai yang menjadikan tahun baru sebagai titik permulaan pada perubahan ataupun titik pecutan untuk mencapai azam masing- masing. Macam orang lain, aku juga punya azam yang tersusun dalam kotak hati, dari sesimple azam kepada sekompleks azam.. Tak semua orang tau azam aku eyh.. sapa yang dah baca previous blog aku, dia tau la 3 azam aku tahun ni, tapi untuk the rest hanya aku, dia dan DIA je yang tau.. Hee.. Mystery enough huh? Well just let it be.. ;)) Berdoalah supaya azam dan harapan aku bakal menjadi kenyataan insyaAllah ameen. ;).. Aku tak nak cerita azam aku yang the rest dengan korang bukan sebab apa, sebab yang utama sebab yela azam tu bisa pudar kan, awal memang la semangat nak buat semua tu tapi by the end of the day, kita lupa dan leka dan kemudian azam tu pun hilang ditelan masa. Aku tak nak macam tu. Aku nak azam aku kekal sampai semuanya tercapai. Azam dan harapan. Aku tahu bukan senang aku nak capai kalau takde usaha yang kuat, tapi sekurang kurangnya aku mencuba. insyaAllah dengan izinNya semuanya boleh! :D Semangat! Semangat! Semangat! Hihihih..

Sekarang macam yang semua sedia maklum, aku tengah posting Community Medicine, jadi kena lah aku pergi Klinik Kesihatan terdekat, tak payah pi hospital dah. tapi aku rasa commed lagi best sebab lepak giler kot untuk yang malas macam aku. hihi. bleh main dengan budak-budak comel, ukur panjang, berat, head circumference, chest circumference baby baby tu. Hee. =)*sori la takde gamba nak tunjuk sebab aku tak amik pun. sebab biar lah kenangan tu aku simpan terus dalam hati, tade gambar pun takpe. :) Teehee,, sweet plak bunyi nya padahal tak sempat nak ambil gambar. :p. Selain daripada tu, kena jugak take care dekat ibu ibu mengandung nie, kena jaga diorang baik baik, bukan senang nak jaga sorang lagi dalam perut tu, hee.. :) kena dengar la apa nurse nasihat kat pregnant mother, selain daripada itu, kena jugak take note blood pressure, weight, BMI of these mothers, yela nak rule out high risk cases, sebab bila dapat tahu awal, dapat lah langkah pencegahan awal dapat dilakukan. :). Bila tengok ibu ibu ni pregnant, teringat la mak aku dulu pernah macam ni jugak mengandungkan aku. so, appreciate la mak anda sekalian yea. :). And dalam masa yang sama, aku jadi takut pun ada. Pheww. takut oww, sebab nanti aku pun akan jadi cmtu gak, korang pun sama la. kena jadi mak macam tu, kena jaga baby dalam perut untuk 9 bulan, sanggup ke korang? tak sanggup pun kena la jaga, amanah Allah kan.:) Best kot tengok mak mak tu, hee.. semangat je cerita berapa kali baby tendang, semangat cerita persiapan( untuk yang peramah la nak cerita. hihi). Selain daripada tu, aku dan kawan kawan aku yang lain pergi jugak 'home visit'. Pergi check mak dan anak lepas bersalin, well known as post-natal cases. tengok la kot kot la baby tu ada jaundice, ke mak tu pun kena tengok jugak kalau kalau ada tanda-tanda varicose vein ke, post partum haemorrhage ke. macam macam bleh jadi ow. Itulah kisah pasal commed.

Lagi satu hal, audry masih tak okay macam dulu. penat dah nak sedih. tak jadi okay jugak. entah bila la aku bleh hantar repair. :(.

oh guys, sekarang ni aku follow " how i met your mother' tapi baru 3rd episode season 1. Hehe. yela kan, bosan tak tau nak buat apa tiap malam. nak study malas,biasala commed. hee. :).

rasanya tu je kot. penat dah. mungkin nanti aku blog lagi. mungkin esok. entah. kalau umur panjang insyaAllah.

Lagu background:

*It Girl, Jason Derulo

*The One That Got Away, Katy Pery

*Smile, Avril Lavigne

*Quiet Hearts, Amy Stroup

*Wish You Were Here, Avril Lavigne.

*I Like It Like That

*Percaya Padaku, Ungu.



That solemn night,
Where blinking stars seem to be gone and the moon appears restless
The cold feet shivers at the corner of empty room
The half-closed eyes force to open endlessly
Mind has gone nowhere, trying to locate the heart
Don't blame own self nor others
It's the fate that remains unchanged over time
Stuck in the middle of journey
With failure and difficulties step in, we wonder
We know but we take things for granted
We understand but we avoid the truth
We learn but we skip the wisdom that sets in
Please change and make a move
Life is like a moving wheel
On top or at the bottom can't be escaped
Knowing about guided sequences
Shall survive us till the end.

Poem setelah sekian lama. :) Untuk kamu. :) Juga untuk kamu-kamu. :)

Forgive me.

Forgive me if once upon a time I caused the bleed in your heart

Forgive me if those days I disappointed you with what I've done

I used to keep reminded that 'people make mistakes'

From no one else but you

I am impressed with your patience from the day one we've known each other

Talking about those mere mistakes,

They are not small, indeed they are quite large

Enough to make a very long scar

But, you are too good to me

You said, you forgave me and offered me a hug if we were close enough by distance

And that was when the tears dropped down my cheeks

How calm you were back then and tried to cheer me up because of my guilt

My dear, this is a promise from a small heart of mine

I'll treat those mistakes as lessons

I'll bury those wrongdoings in the thick soil

Because those mistakes grow us up

Those mistakes are the good teachers to improve the life

From this moment, have my words

I'll take care of your heart like I take care of mine

I'll feed it with loves and cares like a mother cares a baby

I'll never make you bleed anymore like the past hurt you

Past is the past

Present and future are what matter the most

Seeing you happy with a curve of smile on your face enlighten my day

Keep smiling and be strong to face any obstacles in front of you

Because I will always be there for you love

Either during bright or gloomy days of yours

I'll sit right next to your heart and heal it

Just so you know,

WARONG KAP like I don't know how much to explain..

=)))

*Please give this to the right one, the one that owns my heart those days, now and forever. Bersabarlah kerana banyak yang indah bakal tiba insyaAllah.. Amin. :)*

sabar:)

Kerana aku adalah hamba Allah,

Aku tidak sempurna, aku kadang-kadang terkhilaf,

Hati tak senantiasa mulus,

Sering mencari kesalahan orang lain walhal diri masih lagi tidak sempurna,

Aku tahu mungkin ada masa aku terlupa kerana indahnya dunia,

Mungkin juga aku kalah dengan dugaan yang mahu aku bangkit dan tetap dengan pendirian,

Mungkin juga aku terlalu memberi peluang pada si penggoda anak Adam,

Ya Allah, andai aku lalai, ingatkan aku. 

Andai aku alpa, sedarkan aku. 

p/s: ingatan untuk diri sendiri dan orang lain.

yang terus menerus mahu mencari kesalahan orang lain, sedangkan kita masih leka kita mungkin ada kesalahan yang jauh lebih teruk daripada orang yang kita perkatakan. Biar Tuhan yang membalas andai hati terluka pada perbuatan orang lain. Jangan berdendam, sesungguhnya sabar itu lebih baik. :)

Hey, No More Dreams?T_T

The moon and thousands of stars in the sky,

They get so little, with only a glimpse of shines

Poor thing, not all of us able to see

Because some have blinded eyes

Some have sorrow hearts 

And some have blunt passion.

We love to talk about destiny and fate

As if things happen so perfectly

Life is full of great and superb surprises

But, the truth is masked with lies and more lies

We forget about coincidence and routine

It's a norm when people love to live in fantasy

But, over-fantasy and over-dreaming aren't good

As life is not as lovely as in the dreams

As a destined meeting is not as fate as dream would bring.

People, let's open our eyes widely

Stop dreaming and wishing good things always by your side

Don't ever forget that there are still darkness and gloom in the room

Face the reality and get used to it.:)

*P/s: This is to those who love fantasy and dreams and tend to rely to these two like so much. Please do aware that we are humans, not angels. Not all the dreams come true. This is a reminder for me too. Eiffel Tower or SRK even Ezra Fitz aren't always possible in some ways. It MAY BE POSSIBLE, but trust me self, most of the time, it isn't. :)

Don't get jaded. at least for this:)

Don’t worry much, life is full of surprises anyway.:).

The feeling is uncontrollable, undecided and unexpected

It suddenly comes and sticks to the corner of the heart

Once, I tried to wash it off, because I was so scared of getting hurt

Even the core and resistant bleacher couldn’t resist it

How strong it is, if you never know

Again, the denial and lies tried to cover the feeling

Because we thought that it won’t be a permanent one,

Time did fly so fast and fast

Too many things did happened in which we both didn’t expect

You pretended to be cool, I tried to be ignorant

Yet, it becomes stronger and firm as the days pass.

Should we ignore it like we used to do?

Should we wash it off but at the end of the day we fail to get it clean?

Should we ignore the happiness that we feel because of this?

No, we shouldn’t, we definitely shouldn’t,

I am tired of getting hurt, let go off things that I love the most

Now, I want to be happy, with you, only you

Worries and troubles are humans’ best friends

We can’t avoid or escape, they will come no matter what

Let’s try to work it out, if you will I will,

Only the strength and passion will keep us stronger under the help of Him

If only we are meant for each other…:)

I don't know where to start. you too

A foot note at the end of the table
Untouched, with zillions of dusts and dirt
The writing gets faded and grayish
The number-wise sequences are seen
Mind is thinking, body is opposing,
Which one is to be done in prior to the others?
All are to-do-lists,
All are you-die-if-you-put-them-aside lists,
All are you-are-lazy-if you-ignore -lists,
But, still, ignorance is a sign of laziness
So, please don't ignore.

*In the mood of settling important things which are truly messed up these few days, because of I don't know the reasons kinda thing*
*Get the list and get started, girl!*

Kuatkan aku, dia dan memori itu.

Okay. I've decided. To blog in Malay for at least this post.

Tak nak cakap banyak. Korang percaya tak pada yang namanya CINTA? Korang percaya tak pada CINTA pandang pertama, percaya tak pada quote, "I love u till the end of my life?" Percaya tak andai kata orang yang korang jatuh hati itu lah adalah jodoh korang yang sebenar? Percaya tak? Penat kan nak jawab. Penat sangat. Pada aku, jatuh chenta ke jatuh hati adalah benda yang susah sangat nak berlaku. Suka pada orang, itu biasa la kan. Selalu je aku tengok orang first time, terus suka. That's it. Suka. Bukan CINTA. Aku pernah jatuh cinta, pernah putus cinta, pernah jatuh balik, pernah putus balik. And aku terus wonder kenapa la peristiwa jatuh cinta and putus cinta harus terjadi pada waktu yang sangat banyak sebelum kita jumpa The Right One? Okay, orang maybe akan cakap. Experience. I'd loved that. Tapi kalau orang yang dah jenis selalu putus cinta je memanjang, sanggup ke nak lalui semua benda ni? Sanggup ke nak nangis hari hari for the sake of EXPERIENCE. Pelik la manusia. Dan satu lagi aku pelik, pelik pada insan-insan yang senang je cakap I LOVE YOU tapi itu tak pernah kekal. Sekadar ucapan, bukan permanent dalam hati whatsoever. Oh, bengang betul aku dengan insan macam ni. Oh, so typical.

Btw, ini takde kena mengena antara yang hidup dengan yang mati. =)

And aku ada kisah pasal benda nie. pasal CINTA yang terpaksa diKORBANkan untuk sebuah perubahan dalam hidup.

Mengenali dia adalah suatu kebahagian.
Mencintai dia adalah suatu anugerah.
Namun, kadang-kadang kita lalai, cinta itu tidak patut dibajai dengan nafsu dan hasutan syaitan,
Kerna pada akhirnya, semuanya akan menjadi sia-sia,
Cinta tak salah, sayang bukan perlu disusuli dengan hukuman,
Andai cinta itu ikhlas, cinta berlandaskan Dia sebagai yang utama,
Itulah sebaik-baik cinta,
Dulu mungkin aku lalai, aku alpa, dia leka,
Hanyut dengan manisnya sayang, merdunya ungkapan cinta,
Namun kini ternyata semua berubah,
Dia sedar, dia terbangun dari mimpi yang semakin hari semakin terhanyut jauh,
Namun, aku kaku, aku kecewa dengan perubahan,
Perubahan yang terlalu cepat dek masa, terlalu drastik dan sekelip mata,
Hati yang dulunya pernah sakit, sakit lagi untuk kesekian kalinya,
Cinta itu terpaksa dipadamkan demi sebuah pengorbanan yang ikhlas,
Tuhan, andai ini dugaan, aku terima, aku redha, aku pasrah.
Andai inilah jalan untuk kami makin ingat padaMu, tidak terus hanyut, aku redha,
Walau dalam perjalanan ini aku lagi yang sakit, aku lagi yang berdarah,
Hati disuruh supaya kuat, nafsu dipaksa supaya pergi,
Andai dia adalah jodoh aku, kau ubahkan lah dia sebetulnya,
Di jalan yang diredhai olehMu ya Allah,
Supaya suatu masa nanti, dia bakal datang kembali dengan secukup persiapan,
Untuk menjadi ayah kepada anak-anak aku, untuk menjadi sesolehnya seorang suami,
Namun, andai dia bukan untukku, kau tabahkan lah hati aku,
Supaya aku terus kuat untuk meneruskan sisa hidup,
Mungkin dengan orang yang lebih baik, yang mungkin kekal hingga nafasku terhenti,
Sesungguhnya itulah yang aku selalu berdoa,
Tuhan, kentalkan lah jiwa yang rapuh ini,
Pagarkanlah hati ini dengan kesabaran pada ujian,
Supaya aku bisa juga berubah.
Seperti dia.=)



*just so you know, I still love you.* you know who you are.

Wallahualam.

REM Sleep brings us in a dreamland~ :)

Sometimes when the undesired dream comes into pictures,
We might stop and think for a while,
Is this dream is just a meaningless dream,
That somehow might encircles the peaceful sleep,
Or, is there any reason for the dream to be dreamed?

Signs and signs may come along the way,
From The Almighty to let us stay awake,
With the truth and belief that the dream is the real one,
Don't simply ignore, don't simply let it go.

Deja-vu is something, it is not nothing,
Blink and every blink brings you back to the dream,
And the truth is revealed,
Written in silence and ignorance.

Dream is as sweet as candy
And maybe, can be as bitter as you really can't explain,
It depends on what signs might come along.

Of all the dreams,
One may be true,
One may be real,
One may be approachable,
One may be possible,
Someday and somewhere,
It will lay in our grab.
Amin. :)

A Lonely Bird

A lonely bird
Flies up high to reach the top
Despite ignorance to the obstacles
As long as winning that only matters

A lonely bird
Goes back to the hidden nest
Fills the offspring with some sweet love
Even sometimes ungrateful mankind conquer the world
making the love lost in the middle of no where.

It's still that bird
That holds the freedom till now and forever
Chips and chips with satisfaction and strength
Spreads the wing whenever needed.

And now,
I wish I'm the bird
I wish for freedom
I wish for love
I wish for the winning.
:)

Love~

They say,
Love is blind,
Because you can't see any wrongs when u are in love
Because you simply accept the imperfections of your soulmate with the whole heart
Because you will still be smiling when things sometimes went wrong.

They say,
Love is a gift,
You gain it when you are too lucky,
You feel it when your time has come,
You appreciate it days and night.

They still say,
Love is built unintentionally,
You blink and blink but, it still come,
You refuse and object but, it feels your heart,
You ignore and put it aside, but it controls the mind.

They keep saying,
This is love.
Love and to be loved is undecided,
Love fills the empty soul,
Love keeps you stronger when you lost the faith.
Love is something.:)

Sekadar Coretan Biasa~

Ingin ku tegaskan di sini, hasil nukilan kali ini tiada kena mengena yang hidup ataupun yang telah tiada. Mungkin, sedikit kata-kata bakal menimbulkan persoalan yang tidak enak, namun, anggaplah ianya sekadar coretan biasa.:)

Kenapa kau tak pernah faham,
Betapa hati ini terlalu merinduimu,
Betapa mata ini ingin menatap wajahmu,
Betapa bibir ini ingin sekali tersenyum lagi.
Namun, kau tak pernah mengerti
Kau anggap aku hanya berpura-pura
Kau anggap ini hanyalah permainan hati
Dan kau percaya bahawa yang berlaku hanyalah suatu kebetulan
Sampai hati engkau~
Dan lagi, aku dibiarkan kosong.

Mungkin aku sudah terbiasa,
Rembesan air mata ini sudah acap kali menjadi teman malam
Walau ingin sekali aku hindari.
Oh, si kaum Adam,
andai kalian mengerti betapa hati ini rapuh,
Betapa lemahnya aku di dalam
Kenapa harus ujian ini diberikan bertubi-tubi?
Sedang aku cuba menggapai saat indah dahulu

Mungkinkah ada dosa yang tidak aku sedari?
Mungkin juakah ujian ini sekadar untuk mematangkan aku?
Aku juga tidak pasti apakah yang tersirat
Cuma, mohonku Ya Tuhan,
Kau berikanlah kekuatan supaya aku terus bertahan,
Pada duri-duri dugaan yang kian hari kian galak menguji
Kerana aku percaya pada sesuatu,
Ada hikmah atas apa yang terjadi.
Itulah tunjang yang membuat aku kembali tegak berdiri,
Walau kadang-kadang kutahu dan agak pasti,
Jambatan kesabaran itu sudah rapuh ditelan masa.
Wallahualam~

star,moon or sky?

I looked at the stars
Wishing I had one too
Hoping I could touch it with my bare hands
But, a dream remains as a dream
It's there but unreachable
It encircles our life but we are too restricted to hold it.

I stared at the moon,
Be there when it needs to be there
Though it does not as strong as a lighted sun,
Though it doesn't as wide as blue ocean,
A moon is still a moon.
Reflect a small shine just to complete the night.

People may come and go in my life
As what they wish as what they expect
As easy as A B C..
But, spirit to keep going won't never fade
I might put my hands down
I might show the white flag to you
But the heart within this fellow stops me in the middle.

Don't be like a carrot
getting soft and lost when you are tested,
Don't be like egg too
Getting hard and heartless when you are held by obstacles
Be like a coffee bean,
You change the water,
You add the taste,
You fill it with flavour,
Yet, you are ready if you are stopped in the middle.

And again, I glanced at the sky,
Hoping that there is no more cloudy look
Tomorrow and the days after,
Praying that the blue remains the blue and not grey,
And wishing that I still can see the beauty when I open my eyes the next day.
God, I cross my hands,
With a sincere heart and appealing mood
Listen to my prayers this time
And I know you will.
:)

sometimes vs often

Sometimes...
When you did good things but it ended up with failure..
You feel like hope is gone,
You feel like you deserve something better..
You feel like the life is so unfair..

Sometimes..
when you are at the floor..
You don't have the gut to look up..
To reach the wall even you know you can't touch the roof..

Sometimes..
You see people smiling,
cause they get what they wish,
cause they hold the victory in satisfaction..
Cause they manage to reach the top..

Often,
You stop in the middle of the journey..
You step back and think..
wonder and question..
"Can I be the one?"