Doctor has no life is it?

Salam Ramadhan. Hey, all of a sudden just now, I have this thought about what am I gonna be a year later? Am I going to be a good doctor who treats patients well? Or am I gonna regret of getting into medical school? Or am I gonna complain about every single things that a doctor will face like lack of sleep, lack of nice food, and tonnes of works to be done? At this point of time, I don't have any idea what doctor I will become. Actually, LESS THAN A YEAR, I will be a doctor and I will be having Dr. title in front of my name. Dr. Nurul Fitrilina Bt Mustapa. What kind of doctor I will become, only Allah knows. I just hope and pray that I can be a very good doctor, never put a sigh in everything I do, keep on remembering THE ONE up there even in a busy day and do this job with an open heart and maintain the honesty. I know it's going to be hard, in fact if, Allah's will and I will be getting married even before housemanship, and by the time I will become a doctor, I will have to sacrifice a lot. Despite of busy works at the hospital with the on-call and all, I have to take care of my husband, make sure he gets what he needs, loves him and never tired of my responsibility. And again if Allah's will, if I get pregnant during housemanship too, a lot of things I have to bear. With my tired body with the baby kicking inside, I still have to take care of the patients too, never ever regret of what has destined.

Ya Allah, I know it is going to be hard, based on seniors' experiences I have seen, what they have put in their facebook statuses telling about how busy everyday is and how regret they entered medical school before, I can never give up. please Ya Allah give me strength and courage, to bear with this, and to hold this responsibilities as a doctor, as a Muslim in a good way possible, not only me but of course to my future husband too(insyaALLAH) so that we can be strong facing the hard time in future about the busy life as doctors and your slaves. I know, in fact, even now I have to get used to this busy life, make sure I don't mix the emotions with the works and I really have to do that, as I am known person who is so emotionally attached.

May Allah ease our journey, to my future husband and my friends too, so that we can be very good Muslim doctors in future to help ummah. Amin :)

unsettled

There are few things left unsettled which include:

• the two-topics a day, I didn't even have the chance to do it. Actually, I did have the chance but I wasted it. Come on, make it real, girl!
• to not to sleep after Subuh, this is the hardest part, yeah dugaan- dugaan, only those who are very istiqamah can do that. I've to start to do it, first time, might be a little bit trouble, but a continuous doing is gonna make it as routine, insyaAllah:)
• to finish off the novel that I borrowed from Syikin that day, entitled ' Denyut Kasih Medik'. I just realised that I haven't finished reading the novel during the cleaning process of my room that day. Gotta make a move. One page one day. 
• To start playing and exercising during the evening, because I have developed free fat storage beneath the abdominal part. Demit. 
• To make a calculation on my semester budget and spending, because I have my mission okay, haha, let it be a secret for now;)
• that's it. stop scrolling. There's nothing else more left behind, and if it does have something, I wouldn't be mentioning here, kbai! :)

The Hunger Games!

Salam. The time is still tick- tocking. Yeah, it is 3.41p.m in the afternoon. I can't undo, redo nor forward the time. It continues and never gonna stop. And now, I think time is so precious, like so so so precious. Even now, if you realize, the time pass by so fast, I really mean it, because I've experienced it. A 24-hours seems so long, but when you are actually counting the hours, and just do your routine like always, you will find out that, the time seems to cut- shorten from morning till the night before you go to sleep, but it is actually, tick tock like always. So, think back about what you have done at the very end of the day, whether it is useful or not the way you've spent your time:)..

P2S1 results have come out. I'm gonna sit the exam in another one year. The results made me tachycardic for a while, tachycardic for the seniors. Most of them have passed, some have failed and quite a number has to sit for the exam in another one month or we called it as supplementaries. So so so scared. It is all about luck, patient, doctor and what case you get. Hopefully, when my time comes, everything goes well smoothly. I hope and I pray. T_T

Anyway, last night, I went to Jusco Aeon, Melaka with my other two friends, Mira and Mun to watch movie, actually we didn't have a specific movie to watch, we just gambled, randomly picked the movie. It was 'The Hunger Game'.

 It was was was superb superb superb movie ever. :) And we kinda excited because actually, the movie didn't turn out to be loser, since it was randomly chosen. :p. Thanks to them, and it was a joyable night after a tiring day during the weekdays. ( Actually, not really tiring for me since I am in the community medicine posting, but a bit tiringfor them.;p).. Plus, the main actress of the movie, Jennifer Lawrence was so hot in the movie! :))) Love her eyes. She looked so handsome in the attire during the game. :D

Overall rating I would give is, 4/5 because in life, nothing is perfect. Wow. So pathetic. Hihi. :p.

Last but not least, regarding my driving class today, I noticed some improvements compared to the last week I went. Alhamdulillah, I hope that it gets better day by day, even tomorrow I do have the class at 1130 in the morning. I was a little bit nervous when going up the hill, but I want to improve tomorrow. Semangat3!! :)

harimau malaya vs. japan

The game is over.

It turns out to be 4 for Japan and nil score from us, Harimau Malaya. T_T. Never mind, whaddaya expect la kan, we are just a small country who is trying to get the place in the world cup, meanwhile Japan has established that long time back already. Anyway, good job Harimau Malaya, you guys have tried hard to score and defend. ( Actually, I am no good in commenting, but hell yeah who cares?;p)

comel kan. haha :D

Next come to the list: Finish up my readings. Ophthalmology.

Quite a lot actually, but yeah KITE BOLEYH OKAY! :D

You know what, I just realize one fact just now.

The more nearer I am to the exam, the more frequent I update my blog. 

This is how it goes.

The more nearer exam is,the more stressful I will be, 

The more stressful I become, the more typing or writing I'll do to lessen the mind bulk a bit. 

Note the last sentence k. Heee. Good night. Salam. :)

Caffeine.

Damn it. I just woke up. And again I peeped outside through my window, it is raining. Still. Yeaah not my fault I had this excessive sleep. :p. But, I should not waste my time now. I should geared up back again. Gotta make some coffee and clear my room a bit.

You know what, lately I am a caffeinated girl, the one who is caffeine-addict. I don't know what is the reason, but everytime I have a cup of nescafe usually, I will feel energetic as ever. Actually , the reason is the caffeine la kan. Hahaha. Okay, chiow, a long listed learning objectives should be covered. :)

Selamat study to those who is reading this, and currently a student like me, no matter what course you are in now. Best of luck:)

belajarlah sampai ke negeri China( note: Bukan Paris okehhh;p)

ICU?

Surgery end- posting examination, just ended today. Yeah it was all about luck. Dr.Myat( Lecturer from Myanmar) took my end posting. There was issue actually regarding my end posting. Something to do with ICU room, we could not enter the room but we DIDN'T EVEN KNOW we are not allowed to be inside there but to make the story spicy, I took my case in the room, taking history of a cooperative pak cik about 70 years old. Bla bla and bla, they scolded me, but I told them again , I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT, and finally it seemed that Dr. Myat and Dr. Saw( the other lecturer from Myanmar, he's very nice. hee) understood. Yeah, a little bit misunderstanding about this. Surgery department should inform the students at the very first place about this. All in all, Dr. Myat didn't even comment a thing. He just nodded along my history presentation and just nodded during my general and abdominal examination. Only a question that was asked to me: The investigations. I answered all but I forgot to mention about CT Scan which was actually an important point for acute pancreatitis. Not even a single theory question he asked to me. It was either, he was too satisfied, or too bored. I hope the earlier one was the right one. @_@.

Thanks Ya Allah, I finally did that. Even though I didn't know the outcome yet. Million thanks to him for helping me listing down all the acute pancreatitis even though Dr. Myat didn't ask me that.. Heee.. I forgot about what I have read the night before. Maybe, super- added nervousness and trembling did that. Thanks dear for being there. ( and thanks God he was there that time in the same ward). :)..

I have had usrah just now. We watched an Indonesian movie entitled Delisa. So touched. :") But I didn't finish watching since it was Maghrib already. I will continue maybe later. Good lessons and great story. You guys should watch, too. It was something related to the previous tests and pain that Acheh people suffered before because of the big tsunami on December 2006.

Gotta stop. I didn't even take my bath yet. Haha. end-posting-syndrome can't help it. Gotta finish my surgery portfolio too.

Well, guys, refer 7:179. Lessons I learnt today:)


Oh yeah, sorry can't help again. I am currently in love with Taylor Swift new song. Safe and Sound. Heeee... She' s so cute!! Adorable. :)

P/s: Thanks luv, you are super sweet for the message you've sent to me. <3<3<3.

Okay, jum mandi. ! (^_^)

two years.

2 years..

Hopefully it passes so fast like that,

Hopefully we learn a lot during the period

And be mature enough to face this life

2 years..

we have to stand still and be patient

As this is their decisions not ours

Wish that this makes us stronger

A lot more to come

A lot more to face

Let's pray that maybe 2 years can be shorten to 1

Or pray that we may accept this with open hearts and patience

Allah s.w.t, HE always listen to us, every now and then

May this relationship is blessed

Amin.

P/S: Je T'aime, ykwya. :)

day 1

"sometimes, it just happened.

feeling like u are all alone and nobody loves you

feeling as if your family abandon u

feeling like as if they don't mind what happen to u

but actually there's someone who always care.

always."

birthday mak.

Happy Birthday, Mak. I love you so much!!! You are the best mother on Earth. :))). I'm proud to be your daughter. May Allah s.w.t bless u.

MOGA DIBERKATI UMUR DAN DIMURAHKAN REZEKI.

Mak dan abah:)

Second of all, I finally finished my 3 hours of practical. At last, the car is moving. :P

Third of all,  I just found this video. Interesting. Paris, Je T'aime.:) 
 

That's all. 

Notes:

"I didn't mean to make you annoyed with me,

I didn't mean to prevent you from doing what you like

I am not mean like that:(

I didn't mean to force you

But, I just wanna let you know that I care for you way too much

I just can't see if you are hurting

I can't resist seeing the pain in your eyes

Please understand that, love

But, whatever it is, I know I am nobody yet to you

I can't ask you to follow my wish

I can't I really can't

Your decision is yours truly not me

One last sentence, please take care of yourself if you don't want to see my eyes leak again like 

now.

Ya Allah, Engkau Yang Maha Mengetahui dan Maha Penyayang.

Tabahkan hati kami, kuatkan semangat kami, redha lah jiwa ini untuk menerima apa jua dugaan buat kami

Supaya kami sentiasa bersyukur dan masih yakin apa pun yang terjadi ada hikmahnya. 

Amin.

weekend likes weekday

Salaam.

Weekend is back again. Hello, weekend. :). But, lists of things should be done this weekend, like a lot. Hopefully I can manage all of that very well within the expected duration. One thing for sure before get started, "JANGAN MERUNGUT!" (",). Before you can happily go back home, please and so many please, use your time wisely, fit. These things in mind:

• finish up about 100-pages commed portfolio. not much actually, I just have to copy and paste. That's all. =.=

this much okay. banyak kot. T_T

• study for the commed end posting. Too much slides till I vomit! Duhhhh.
• pre-study for surgery posting. As what I can say, from heavenly commed to hell surgery? T_T. But no worries! I want to focus surgery as maximum as possible since sessional is just around the corner! =)
• Weekend equals to driving license class. Have to stand this for quite a long weekends afterwards. Takpe, good luck! (^_^)
• Yeah Don 2!! insyaAllah if it is fated that I am going to meet up the beloved SRK this weekend. Depends on time and availability. *finger-crossing*
• Counting days. :)

*lesson of the day: whatever you do, just remember that everything starts with your Niat. Niat as in your intention. Allah s.w.t will grant your wish the way you Niat. If you niat for A, then A happens. If you niat for B, then B sets in. It is the matter of what Niat you have made and whether it suits enough and whether it can give you something in future, some good things. InsyaALLAH.


Salam for now. :)

tq!

saya gemok, 

kuat tido,

kuat makan, 

berjerawat, 

emo tak tentu pasal

tapi 

dalam apa keadaaan sekalipun, 

kamu sabar je dengan saya,

kamu masih sayang saya,

kamu tak pernah marah.

kamu cakap, 

kamu terima saya seikhlasnya sebab saya adalah saya.

jadi, terima kasih. :)

enola.

When I blindly said that I wanted to distant myself from you, it means that I can't resist that I love you way too much.

how the feeling becomes when it is mixed up? :S

Audry buat hal.*UNEXPLAINED FEELING*

got it right?

Ma and abah are coming. *BIG SMILEEEEE*

big grin!

I have learnt the correct way of ECG *SATISFIED FACE*

Satisfied face of this child getting the ice cream is similar to mine when I am little bit understood about ECG. Alhamdulillah=)

study.

5 OUT OF 15. :(. Kinda sad, hope that I could do better than that. 

Maybe it's not my luck. Just keep on fighting and struggling.

Talking to the patient and his wife taught me a lot about how they believe and put all trusts to the doctors.

I'm only a medical student, not yet a doctor, but still they kinda put a lot of hope when I was taking the history.

"Pak cik, mak cik, jangan risau. Kami akan cuba buat yang terbaik."

Semangat, semangat, semangat! =)

P/s: Kami here refers to all medical students in the world. Especially YOU. =)

this is today's thought.

hey. salam. pictures will explain everything regarding today. :)

Ttyl. Only smart people know. =P

hi, weekend.

super-exhausted. super super super exhausted. even Dr. Lakshmi noticed the tiring face.:(

• lack of sleep?

• or because of the 4 and a half hours protocol presentation this morning?

• or because today is the last day in O & G department for the third year?

• or because emotionally unstable? ( nothing much, I just miss home a lot. )

• I wonder what are the reasons. maybe all of the above? =.=

feeling like closing the eyes and dreaming the whole day. DREAMING. :)

anyway, I sweated a lot today. yeah, well what else if it wasn't because of the badminton. :p. 

Keep practising. Add up the stamina to the maximum level! 

11.11.11. Nothing special happened today. It is just a date. a special date. Guess today will be chosen for the couples 

to get married. Easy to be remembered till the rest of their lives. Even their small grandchildren will remember. :)).

Till then, salam. Say hi to weekend.

End posting.

Salam.

Hey. Been bz. So first of all, sorry to all. =)..

Next week I'm gonna sit for end posting exam which includes both clinicals and MCQs..

Hopefully, everything goes smooth and well. Nervousness.. =.=.

Forgive me.

Forgive me if once upon a time I caused the bleed in your heart

Forgive me if those days I disappointed you with what I've done

I used to keep reminded that 'people make mistakes'

From no one else but you

I am impressed with your patience from the day one we've known each other

Talking about those mere mistakes,

They are not small, indeed they are quite large

Enough to make a very long scar

But, you are too good to me

You said, you forgave me and offered me a hug if we were close enough by distance

And that was when the tears dropped down my cheeks

How calm you were back then and tried to cheer me up because of my guilt

My dear, this is a promise from a small heart of mine

I'll treat those mistakes as lessons

I'll bury those wrongdoings in the thick soil

Because those mistakes grow us up

Those mistakes are the good teachers to improve the life

From this moment, have my words

I'll take care of your heart like I take care of mine

I'll feed it with loves and cares like a mother cares a baby

I'll never make you bleed anymore like the past hurt you

Past is the past

Present and future are what matter the most

Seeing you happy with a curve of smile on your face enlighten my day

Keep smiling and be strong to face any obstacles in front of you

Because I will always be there for you love

Either during bright or gloomy days of yours

I'll sit right next to your heart and heal it

Just so you know,

WARONG KAP like I don't know how much to explain..

=)))

*Please give this to the right one, the one that owns my heart those days, now and forever. Bersabarlah kerana banyak yang indah bakal tiba insyaAllah.. Amin. :)*

Saya sayang sampai saya nangis.

Napa hati aku terlalu fragile kadang-kadang? Sometimes, I can't even stand to feel brave enough to face the realities, n to make things even worse, I will start crying thinking that life is so unfair. There are three things that makes me cry even I try to hold for a while:

a) Mak dan abah
b) Adik-adik \
c)Dia( you know who you are)

Even it's a happiest things on earth happen, I do cry sometimes because of them. I know one explanation for this.

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, ONLY ALLAH KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. 

**Maafkan kak own ma, andai kata-kata nurul pernah melukai mak. Nurul terlalu sayang pada mak. Andai Tuhan izinkan, nurul sanggup korbankan nyawa nurul demi mak. :")**

Mixed Feelings.

Salaam Ramadhan, world.

Believe it or not, it is already 4 days of Ramadhan, yeah I didn't even realize about this.:).. 4 days of our meeting/ mulaqat with beloved Ramadhan. There are too many differences I do feel in this month compared to the other month. I don't know how to explain, but I really feel so good. Month of Barakah, insyaAllah. :). Use this chance to get closer to Him and maintain it for the rest of the years. Ameen.

Memories~

As Ramadhan is passing by, this means that the time left for me in Manipal is really really short. Very short. Mixed feelings haunt me anyway. Feeling good because I really can't wait to meet my family esp. my parents because yeah, I miss them so much. Feeling sad because I really love this place. Good lecturers, cool the way of studying and many more. Feeling relieved because at last, we will be freed from those TEMPE. And feeling so disappointed because, I lost one friend, very good friend of mine, very cool and funny, but unfortunately things happened and we split. Okay, stop or I might burst again. :"(

Well, just so you know I should have started packing, as very soon, these boxes will be collected but i didn't even started at all. Gonna start maybe tonight, we'll see the mood first. Ngeee~.. (^_^).

This coming Monday I might have end posting examination for Medicine. I don't really start studying but at least I have opened the book right? Hee.. :) Okay, I have to gather all the spirits and start doing what things I should have done so long before. Good luck, Nurul Fitrilina! :)

And btw, to Cik Noor Hasmira Binti Bismi,

Cik Mira kita yea.:)

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DEAR... May Allah s.w.t bless you always. Sayang sangat kat awak.. ;")

Usrah team-mates. :)

IDK why but this picture really proves me that I am so boolat. Moga dapat kurus raya nanti. teeeheee :)