What a life really.

Today was a tiring day for me. Yeah I know what you gonna say.

"You didn't have afternoon class, how come you said today was a tiring day for you?"

Hee. Yes, it is. I didn't have afternoon class but still I was way too tired till I slept for almost 3 hours this afternoon! I wonder how I am going to sleep tonight =.= It was tiring when you had to stand about 3 hours in the OT (operation theatre) watching for the operation going on, actually it is more tiring to watch and only observe compared to perform the operation itself you know. >.< but this is what medical student has to do. To OBSERVE. To make thing worst, I didn't actually take my breakfast as initially, I decided to fast today. But, then I was suddenly in a red- flag state, you knew why. So, that was even worse! The symptoms that I usually have in the earlier 1-2 days of period is back pain and there it was, the BACK PAIN, worsen on standing for a long time!

Can you imagine the feeling? You stomach was growling, asking for food, while at the same time you had to bear with the back pain. Ughhh. It hurts you know. Haihhh merungut je kan! Hehe. But, that's how I am going to face about another 1 year when I will be a Housemanship officer (HO) later. Have to try to bear with it. Fighting! ;)

Now, I am so wide awake. Guess I should have struggling from today onwards as end of posting orthopaedic examination is approaching. For God sake, for the last 2 weeks, I was just playing all around, didn't even finish reading even a page! So lazy girl indeed.

So, TODAY I HAVE TO START STUDYING!!!!!!!!

REALLY HAVE TOO! :)))

so, Fighting to me and to you too, and BEST OF LUCK for your block test tomorrow. :)

I'm sorry for all the burdens

I blink and blink. I look here and there, up and down. I peep through my red money bag ( the purse actually) . It is as thin as the morning air. I am so desperate. I don't know where to turn to. I really don't want to burden them, really don't. How can I survive for that long, nearly two months? Everytime I called them, listening to their voices and what they do everyday, wake up as early as 6 am, making the way to the morning market for abah, selling goods for the mothers to cook, each pack of onions equals to about RM2 and mak drove her car to school, never tired of teaching small kids, learning how to add, minus, multiply and divide. Not much money they can make, but enough to raise us all five up till now.

How can I call them and ask for money this time? They spent for me a lot, I don't have the strengths to burden them anymore, I really can't. Even to pay all the moneys they have spent for me isn't enough. Yes, I am born to a middle class family, just enough to live, not much money for luxury, but Alhamdulillah, I still appreciate it. Thank you, Allah. :")

Maybe, there will be someway waiting for me ahead. Maybe. Still, I don't want to burden them for me, no more. Let's launch diet! Maybe this is my way to be skinny. :)

Don't be sad. Just remember whatever happens, there must be good things lie behind, we never realize it somehow. :")

Untuk kamu kamu yang tengah down dan sedih macam saya:(

Mari kita senyum, Allah dah aturkan semuanya:)

now it is raining heavily outside:)

C u again

Good night, world.

See u again if I am still breathing tomorrow morning.

I am sorry for the wrongdoings I've ever done.

Sleep tight! ;)

Owh, moral of the day: Kematian ada di mana- mana. Bila ajal kita sampai, tidak ada benda dapat menghalang. Itulah kuasa Allah swt. Takziah buat sahabat, Redzwan Abdullah@ Sam@ Redz dan keluarga atas pemergian ayahanda tercinta.Tabahlah kerana Allah lebih menyayangi allahyarham.  Moga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin. 

Salam.

*mood: batuk tak lega-lega cuak plak kalau ada pathology apa-apa*

I Should Have Known

Salam Sabtu.. Sabtu eyh? :) Well, yeah, it's 9.37am in the morning in the beloved Malaysia. And truth is I just woke up about 20 minutes ago. :P. Yeah I know it is kinda late for an anak dara like me, but who cares since it's WEEKEND!! Tidur la sepuasnya kan.. *hands up if you agree..*;p.

What topic to be told today? Or maybe to be discussed? It's about Palestine. Yeah Palestine, the story that we keep on uttering and sympathizing to them because of the things that happened to their country. Actually the things that are still happening.

Last night, I had this so- called 'Sister Gathering' here in Melaka, not far actually, at the area of Bukit Beruang with my usrah-mate with their friends whom I just get to know them last night. :). At first we cooked, talked, laughed and spent time together. It was so much fun since I love doing things with people like cooking because I love teasing and sometimes people love to tease me like Ariffah did. ;p.. And then the programme continued and we ate around 930pm after the dulang- dinner.

Then, came the tazkirah given by the one of the student from University of Newcastles, Australia and she's not Australian, she's Malaysian la. A girl one year younger than me.:). She talked and talked and suddenly it came to the story of Palestine. She asked all of us, "What do you girls know about Palestine?" My reaction was like, blinking three to four times, watching each others, trying to make the gyrus to work. Pity gyrus, because I actually, don't really have the knowledge of what is really the reason for the chaos happened in Palestine. Kesian kan:(. Padahal it is one of the story we keep on talking. We pitied them, sometimes some of us cried watching over the videos showing the suffering of Ummah there but, do we know the reasons for the chaos? Hmm. And 'we' here includes me myself. I know about the story but I don't dig, I don't find although I know it's one of my things to do( finding about what happened to Palestine) because we are Muslims and those that are suffering are our brothers and sisters. :"(.

Yeah maybe I have to start dig and dig and dig. I might not help much but at least I know what is happening to them. With the knowledge maybe something can be done, we never know. Wallahualam. Selamat mencari tentang Palestine. :)

hi, weekend.

super-exhausted. super super super exhausted. even Dr. Lakshmi noticed the tiring face.:(

• lack of sleep?

• or because of the 4 and a half hours protocol presentation this morning?

• or because today is the last day in O & G department for the third year?

• or because emotionally unstable? ( nothing much, I just miss home a lot. )

• I wonder what are the reasons. maybe all of the above? =.=

feeling like closing the eyes and dreaming the whole day. DREAMING. :)

anyway, I sweated a lot today. yeah, well what else if it wasn't because of the badminton. :p. 

Keep practising. Add up the stamina to the maximum level! 

11.11.11. Nothing special happened today. It is just a date. a special date. Guess today will be chosen for the couples 

to get married. Easy to be remembered till the rest of their lives. Even their small grandchildren will remember. :)).

Till then, salam. Say hi to weekend.

Simple.

Maybe at this moment,

we have to pretend that we don't know each other.

It surely will hurt, but that's how things go.

Hopefully we are strong enough to face this.

BERSEMANGAT! (^__^)

Saya sayang sampai saya nangis.

Napa hati aku terlalu fragile kadang-kadang? Sometimes, I can't even stand to feel brave enough to face the realities, n to make things even worse, I will start crying thinking that life is so unfair. There are three things that makes me cry even I try to hold for a while:

a) Mak dan abah
b) Adik-adik \
c)Dia( you know who you are)

Even it's a happiest things on earth happen, I do cry sometimes because of them. I know one explanation for this.

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, ONLY ALLAH KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. 

**Maafkan kak own ma, andai kata-kata nurul pernah melukai mak. Nurul terlalu sayang pada mak. Andai Tuhan izinkan, nurul sanggup korbankan nyawa nurul demi mak. :")**

Home;)

Salaam to all.:) Guess what, world? Now I'm at my home! Yeah. Home sweet home like what they said, remember?:) Meeting my parents, my siblings and my other families is just too exciting. They said, I've put some weights. Oh well I don't know whether to say thank you or to get mad to them? haha. Whatever. Here are some pictures I've taken with them. Oh I love them like so much.:) Most of the pictures were in the car cause everytime I wasn't in the car( I mean when I reached the certain destination) I always forgot to take photo cause I was busy enjoying the place. Ngee. mengada kan. LOL. =) and for you guys info, the results have been released and thank God I've made it. We made it. All my friends passed. But, unfortunately, some of my friends didn't. :(

Oh, people, actually, there is one story m gonna tell. but not now. keep updating kay.:) ttyl. bye. =p

I'm a misguided ghost.

Title: Misguided Ghosts

By: Paramore.

P/S: The lyrics tell everything. =)

I am going away for a while
But I'll be back don't try and follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
And it might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes

And run from them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction

'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles

Now I'm told that this is life
And pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
Would someone care to classify

Our broken hearts and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

And run to them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away

And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

They echo me in circles

:(

Y the hell I feel like this?
:(
God, keep me stronger.
Y some people don't understand?
:(

hoi.

I thought you are not like others.
But, OBVIOUSLY,
you are not much difference with them. :)
*dissapointment*

I'm too young and too little, still. I'm sorry.

Hey. Salam.

Duhh. I've never thought about this, EVER in my life.

getting engaged at the age of 21 and getting married at the age of 22?

Oh, please. I am not that ready. Really.

And plus, I'm not into what they called ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

I prefer to find the soulmate by myself.

But people used to say that, we can't never get what we want.

Really?

Hmm. Whatever. Jodoh ketentuan di tangan Tuhan.

I want at least, my future hubby is also a doctor.

Cz doctor understands doctor.

Architect watsoever isn't my type.

I'm so sorry. Go find someone else.

I've got a BIG AMBITION.

And I want to achieve that first.

Thanks ma abah cz understanding what I want now.

Thanks cz you guys don't force me to accept this hard decision.

Love u guys infinity.:)

I'm a drug addict. Stay away from me.

Being too good isn't so perfect, and being too bad isn't too terrible.
I don't know, sometimes, the questions are left unanswered. Looking back again to myself, I mean, in the deeper aspect relating to the heart and emotions, not necessarily about the physical thingy, I think I'm not a good one, I guess, and not too bad either. And I wonder how people around me classify myself, either a good-perfect-innocent girl or someone who better termed as, havoc-naughty-complicated-kinda bad girl. I DON'T KNOW.

Being too emo sometimes makes your life too bored, right? Because not all fella can guess that actually you're having some kinds of personal matters in mind as they can't read your mind for sure. So, it's like, " You are exploding inside but no one realises that thing. So pity on you." Haha.

But you know what, thinking of that, I've come into one freaky true statement or maybe a FACT. Don't just bother what you feel too much. Or in better understandings, don't take too much concern to what you feel deep inside 'cz in time, you will gonna heal by yourself, without appealing for others help.

Don't take too seriously of what I mumbling above. It is only a thought. A sudden-tadaaa-thought that comes into my mind. Actually, it's already 1.51am in Manipal, India but I'm still awake because tomorrow is so much heaven, class gonna start at 1030AM. Oh, I love being placed in a Batch A students. hee. One thing I keep repeating to others who keep asking me the same question.

WHICH ONE DO YOU PREFER?
START CLASS EARLY IN THE MORNING AS EARLY AS 8.00 AM OR END THE CLASS AS LATE AS 5.00 PM?

My answer is simple. I'll go for the latter.
Haha. I'm a nocturnal fella. (^_^) Don't be scared, I'm a human being anyway.
LOL. Gotta stop now. SDL Pharmacology is waitin' on some corners.

HYPOLIPIDAEMIC DRUGS AND DRUGS USED IN THE TREATMENT OF SHOCK.

I'm a drug addict. Stay away from me.

Need You Know- Lady Antebellum

Hey, all. :) Here it comes again: THE WEEKEND. Ohh, I'm just soo happy and so excited till I don't even know how to express what I feel. Haha. Koya seyh. ;). Anyway, comes weekend or holidays, still I don't have to be so much free and leisure since there are so many things to be settled like for example:

• SDL Pharmacology: Treatment for Gout, Anti-anxiety Drugs and Anti-Maniac Drugs. @_@

• SDL Microbiology: Too much topics till I don't even have the heart to write them all, seriously.

• PBL Pharmacology: To be presented this Tuesday, but the good thing is that, the notes are done! :)

• Oh, not to forget! Go to Kak Ummu's house to get the chair! haha. errr, actually I want to buy the chair from her. :)

Just refer to the points above. Almost 75% are all about study.

STUDYING, STUDYING, STUDYING.

this is what will happen if you study too much. lol.

These are the books. I am a BOOKWORM. Please believe me. :/

If someone asks me in one fine day,

"What is the thing that can abviously make you to vomit?"

I will answer: STUDYING all the times might leads to vomiting or is termed medically as EMESIS.

Hee. But what to do, we are students, and this is the OBLIGATORY THING that we should do apart from falling in love to different people at different times. Yucks. Haha. Chill, I didn't mean it anyway.

Okay-lah, I think I've got to stop.

Mr. Tripathi is calling me now.

One last sentence: I don't sigh, I'm happy of what I am now, it's just that I wish there are so much times for me to study and study and keep studying. :)

*can't wait to go home, err it's like 3 weeks more I guess.*

Quote of the day: I don't know if I ever cross your mind. But for me, it happens all the time. ILY.

With so much love,

-fi3choc-

I don't want to miss a thing.:)

I don't want to search for it,

I don't want to chase for it,

Neither to hold it tight,

Nor to keep it in my heart.

One little wish, please come when the time has come,

Please appear when you have to appear,

And after all, you are most welcome Mr Right. :)

Controller might be suitable.

Please. Be attentive. Don't pretend like nothing has happened.

The three sentences of the day. I don't know what should I say more? It's not me, who decide everything, it's not me either who set up everything. Life sometimes unfair. Yes, I should say that. Life drags me into the situation and leaves me without nothing to say and leaves me without hope. Maybe it kinda brief and confusing, but, I can't tell everything here. I miss the old 'situation', the time before, when everything went well. Smiles, laughter, and spiritual heart that we shared together. But it was so long back. Now, everything changes. U pretend like we are two people who never met, u pretend like I don't know u, and you don't know me either. Yeah, to blame all the things to life, isn't fair. It's not the life should be blamed, it's the heart that is easy to turn off and on like a controller.Wallahualam~

fighting against diarrhoea!

Menulis dalam bahasa ibunda kadang-kadang memang seronok. Hee. And now this is what I'm doing. Yeah right. Hari ini, schedule aku masih macam biasa. Bangun subuh yang boleh dikategorikan sebagai subuh gajah, kemudian tidur semula. The next wake-up adalah sangat-sangat lah lewat di mana tidak bagus untuk seorang anak dara macam aku. Oh, who cares anyway? haha. ( tapi some people care kot. ohh, whatever.:P) Lepas bangun, golek-golek di atas katil, thinking what should I do next. Yeah, routine. Sebenarnya kan, aku ada satu rahsia. Cuti lelama pon tak best jugak taw. Sebab bosan tak tau nak buat apa. Tapi bila takde cuti sibuk maki hamun lecturers sebab tak bagi cuti. Haihh, people2. Bila la nak berubah. Huu. :) Fikir punya fikir sampai dah tak boleh nak fikir, aku pun sambung cerita Dhoom II yang aku tengok half-way semalam. Dengan badan yang masih liuk lentok di atas katil yang tak lah berapa nak empuk mana. Sambung for another 1 and half hours. Done watching! ;) Aku pun bergegas bangun dari katil, ambil towel lalu masuk la bilik air mahu mandi. Dah habis mandi, jam menunjukkan pukul 1300. Apakah? Dah lewat rupanya dan aku masih belum breakfast! haha. Yeah, anyway layakkah di panggil breakfast waktu macam ni? Ini bukan breakfast, ini dah lunch cik Nurul Fitrilina oiii. Hihi... Sorry. Aku pun berjalan ke dapur, ngap sama itu roti bersalutkan jem. hmm, mixed fruit jam. Sedap! Lepas tu, makan oreo jugak. Yummy2. =p. Aku pun masuk la bilik balik. Tiba-tiba, sesuatu telah berlaku di mana perkara ini adalah suatu kebiasaan di apartment aku iaitu Ajay Arcade. Black-out! S***! Hmm. Aku pun mengambil keputusan untuk golek2 lagi di atas katil. Keputusan ini menyebabkan aku terus-lah tertidur di situ sampai pukul 3.30 petang bila tiba-tiba roomie terchenta kejut, Zaty.

"Fit, bangun fit. Solat Zuhur."

Aku gosok mata aku, alamak dah lewat. Melompat la aku pergi ambil wuduk. Haihh, fitri fitri. Solat dah makin lewat. Insaflah. ( nasihat pada diri.:[ ) Selepas solat, tetiba perut aku dah rasa lain. Alamak. Apakah ini? Aku pun ke toilet. Berita yang tidak berapa menyenangkan

.tanda-tanda awal DIARRHOEA.

Ok.Ok. Satu persatu geng Tera kena diarrhoea bermula dengan Hasmira Bismi diikuti dengan geng Tera yang lain.( walaupun ada insan bertuah Tera tak kena). Hypothesis awal adalah mungkin keracunan sewaktu travel bersama-sama dlu cuma yang bezanya effect lambat atau cepat. I hate this feeling. Sakit gila kot, bila rasa seperti mahu 'BERI' tapi yang outputnya adalah air??? Huhhhhh. Harap bersabar. Nak petik balik kata-kata Mirae dalam facebook tadi:

"ambillah ujian kesakitan ini sbg suatu nikmat...yakinlah bahawa ujian penyakit ini akan mnghapus dosa2 terdahulu..."

Thanks mirae. He he. Ayat ni lah yang menguatkan aku balik tadi. padahal kan, diarrhoea mirae lagi worse dari aku. Hmm.

Titik kisah diarrhoea. Malam tadi, housemate aku- Ckin, Zaty dan Mirae ajak tengok cherita korea, cherita hantooo.

Wishing Stairs.

Berfikir dua kali jugaklah masa nak tengok. Sebab kalau sapa yang kenal aku, aku ni penakut untuk tengok cherita-cherita hantu ni. Even scene yang biasa pun aku jerit. Haha. Penakut sungguh la. Bayangkan lah cherita Thai, Nang Nak pun aku jerit tak pada2. Hee. ^_^ Tapi tadi aku gagahkan gak diri tengok. Tapi jerit-menjerit itu biasa tadi dan mereka bertiga menggelengkan kepala sahaja melayan aku. haha. Done watching.

Dan sekarang aku tengah mengupdate blog, baru keluar dari toilet ni. Haihhh. Nak kemas-kemas katil sikit dan mungkin tidur terus. tak pun another movie! heehehe. yang pasti esok aku ada misi.

.nak kemas katil, meja study sampai bersih!!.

GOOD LUCK fitri! ;))

Oh, I don't care~

Today, I feel like writing. Hmmm, it's been ages since I last wrote and updated Chocolate. I mean, update about my current life, story and how it flows recently.Yeahh, as usual, exam was just ended. Outcome? I don't know yet, but what I can say for the time being, I'm regretted of what I did for this whole third block. I played around, spent time doing things I shouldn't, cried for those simple little things that I should really put those matters aside. But, that was it. I can't turn back and correct it. The only time to regret is now, before University Exam shows its shadow very soon. As what people keep saying to me, when I sighed to them, " U still have time Fitri to catch back what you have left before, to grab back what u lost before and to start struggling back from day one." Ohh, I nodded. That is what I should realise long before, before it's too late. :(. As a summary, what I can say now, I want to focus back again in Block 4. I'll make sure things were not the same as the previous block. Hmm, I believe in one quote, that keeps me in the line till now.

"People make mistakes cause they are not perfect.
Learn from the mistakes and live your life."

That is it for my current update in my study. Love? Don't have one till now. Huh? Does it matters after all those tears that surrounded me last 2 months? I'd better stop. Disappear like as if nothing happens really get into my nerves now. But, so what. Do I look like I care? I'm well HAPPY now with my life.(:. U are like pieces of those poems that u used to give me, and now I've thrown it away already cause it made my heart sick and plus, my Chaurasia is far better to be read and memorise compared to your so-called-love-poem. I love ANATOMY more okay? =)

Should stop now I think. I got some more planss tonight.(:

MOVIE MARATHON jom newarn? ^-^

spotters.

spotters.
really spoiled my mood the whole evening.
y spotters? hmmm~T__T
even I tried and worked so hard, the outcomes were not as much as what I did before.
maybe what Eddie said during tazkirah that day was true.
"Semua ini ujian Allah. Allah tak akan uji umatNya yang tak dapat nak melalui ujian2-ujian ini."
atau..
"Mula-mula, memanglah penuh dengan ulat.Tapi jangan lupa, ulat itu akan bertukar jadi rama-rama yang cantik suatu hari nanti."
These two things that keep me in the steady mood these few days.
Oh Tuhan, tabahlahh hati ini.
Kuatkan hati ini macam dulu.
*sigh*