Incompetent doctor? :(

Assalamualaikum, readers.

Hi. It's 1932 and I should have bathe myself right now, to go to library but well yeah, just wait a while. Today, I feel a bit disappointed, to what comments lecturers have put up during meeting about performances of our groups.

Professor Uduman Ali:" What have you been studying? You should know most of things in medicine now. I thought you guys are only lacking of knowledge and skills in neurology (toughest area in medicine) but it surprised me and it seems that all field of medicines you are all lacking off. You are 10th semester already (final semester before we become a doctor), you SHOULD KNOW everything, just on the tip of your tongue! "

The talk continues by Prof Uduman: "Yesterday, we had a meeting, and this issue has been brought up by Prof Lakshmi. She said none of you are competent for the final exam! Even your semester-in-change ( we know who, and it is Dr. Kolitha)  was also annoyed."

That was it. That was right after my presentation this morning regarding one Neurology case about one pakcik who has this cerebellar disorder presented with only complaints of vertigo. After the presentations, Dr Uduman asked us questions which we supposed to know but we stumbled in answering it, and not properly confident with the answer even the answer was correct.

At that point of time, I felt like going to a place to hide, where nobody could find me, I felt so disappointed and I didn't know what to do. Yeah, we've learnt all of that, but we forgot. We always forget things we should remember. It's not that we don't know a thing, it's just that we don't remember. Prompting to answer without any level of confidence really disappoints me and I know it disappoints our lecturers too :(

From that moment on, I promise myself to work my tail off, study hard and try to revise back the things I've learnt. We've come across about those things previously, and by re-reading and studying won't so much difficult, as it will stay longer in our brain as yeah we've been exposed to that kinda topics.

I know it is our responsibilities to study hard and hard and hard and I know we really should be blamed for that incompetency and lack of skills. We should practise more and more.

I really want to be A MUSLIMAH, AWESOME, SMART, INTELLIGENT, ELEGANT FUTURE DOCTOR,  yes that is my aim and goal.

O' Allah please help me in achieving that aim, remind me if I lost and forget the things I shouldn't. ;)

What a life really.

Today was a tiring day for me. Yeah I know what you gonna say.

"You didn't have afternoon class, how come you said today was a tiring day for you?"

Hee. Yes, it is. I didn't have afternoon class but still I was way too tired till I slept for almost 3 hours this afternoon! I wonder how I am going to sleep tonight =.= It was tiring when you had to stand about 3 hours in the OT (operation theatre) watching for the operation going on, actually it is more tiring to watch and only observe compared to perform the operation itself you know. >.< but this is what medical student has to do. To OBSERVE. To make thing worst, I didn't actually take my breakfast as initially, I decided to fast today. But, then I was suddenly in a red- flag state, you knew why. So, that was even worse! The symptoms that I usually have in the earlier 1-2 days of period is back pain and there it was, the BACK PAIN, worsen on standing for a long time!

Can you imagine the feeling? You stomach was growling, asking for food, while at the same time you had to bear with the back pain. Ughhh. It hurts you know. Haihhh merungut je kan! Hehe. But, that's how I am going to face about another 1 year when I will be a Housemanship officer (HO) later. Have to try to bear with it. Fighting! ;)

Now, I am so wide awake. Guess I should have struggling from today onwards as end of posting orthopaedic examination is approaching. For God sake, for the last 2 weeks, I was just playing all around, didn't even finish reading even a page! So lazy girl indeed.

So, TODAY I HAVE TO START STUDYING!!!!!!!!

REALLY HAVE TOO! :)))

so, Fighting to me and to you too, and BEST OF LUCK for your block test tomorrow. :)