emotionally unstable.JANGAN?

Salam to all.

Hi.Hello.Hola.It's been a long time since I last updated my blog.

Yeap, as a common reason

everytime.bz with a lot of stuffs..

volleyball game.quiz.pbl.everything.

currently, honestly speaking,I'm really not-in-good-mood-state. Kenapa?

Many reasons behind

all

this.

EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.

I'm not as "TOUGH" as d old me.

Admit that.

And I wish to change that. I really wish as so.

for this whole week, tears kept running down my cheeks.

"fi3, kenapa dah tak kuat? kenapa mcm ni?".

I keep questioned myself..

this is juz a beginning of a tough life little girl. U have much more things to face in future.

Jangan pernah kalah.Keep saying those words to me.

But still....

I'm still...

I'm still EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.

Kenapa?

I'm tired of finding d answer.

I'm tired of explaining myself.things will get better.

Mak keep saying this to me.

"Kadang2 Allah nak uji kita dengan dugaan2 ringan.Dia nak tgok samada

kita bertahan @ tak.".

So, Fi3, please bertahan.Jangan mudah kalah.

Abah keep saying, " Dugaan mematangkan diri.".(in his own words.)

So, fi3, please jadi matang.

U r matured enuf. if u face things in a positive way.

POSITIVE.

"Jadikan kekalahan tu sebagai booster.for d future."

Someone said dat.

Booster? yeap.Booster.

So, fi3, i repeat,jangan emotionally unstable lagi.

jangan.please jangan.jangan.jangan.and JANGAN.

-*sigh*- (T_T)

-h0lidays.antara reality@fantasy?-=)

Happy.....

tu jer perasaan yang boleh kugambarkan saat dan ketika ini....hee....n ol dis bcoz of d h0lidays~...hee....dr JUMAAT smpi AHAD...Sapa x sy0k beb kalo cuti....lol!..=D...Sebenarnya cuti tu Jumaat n Ahad je..Suppose hari Sabtu ada kelas...tapi semalam...bila Mr Raghu(a.k.a Abe Raghu...haha) masuk kelas,dye kate cmni lebeyh kurang...

"I've G00d news for u'll."

apa yang good news sgt tula kn? hrmm...mmg x expect langsung dye nak cakap pasal cuti....sbb kelas previous bi0chem n lecturer bru yg masuk tu cakap ktorng akan ada kelas ari Sabtu neh...So, suma cam pasrah jela....tapi rupanya mmg good news betol..Dengan gaya yang c0melnya, Abe Raghu pn berbicara beginilah agaknya lebih kurang...

"U don't have class this Saturday!!'

Dalam erti kata laen, kiter CUTI!!!! HEE...suma macam sangat excited semacam...Median Nerve yang diajar oleh Raghu pn x bt0l2 c0ncentrate sgt..sbb perasaan GUMBIRA melebihi perasaan EXCITED nak blaja Anatomy. lalala...=)...normal la tu kan? ngeh3,,

Bila balik petang tu dengan perasaan gumbira, Ckin ajak g End Point...Owh, ckin ku sayang..act, aku dah ada plan nak tidoq petang tu..hee...Maafin Dear...ngee~...

Malamnya pulak, dalam seramai 14 orang gurls Melayu gang ktorng decided nak makan Seafood kat satu tempat ni yg namanya " Fish Max" if x salah....Suma rindu gila kot kat ikan2 terchenta. Mana taknya, duduk cni asek makan ayam jew...haish3...bosan gila...=)

Tapi disebabkan ramai sgt2 kt tempat tu, ktorng decided nak blah jer...g makan tempat laen...Mungkin malam tu mmg rezeki Basil, so ktorng makan la kat Basil...haha..n yg makan kat ctu tnggal 7 of us..Yang laen suma makan kat Manipal Canteen. Terpisah jugak...hee...n guess what berapa aku spend utk dinner sahaja malam tu kat Basil???

160RUPEES.

Owh, si c0mel fitri, mmg la kamu nih..hish2,,konon nak jimat....hah amek kau mmg 'JIMAT' sungguh!(+_+)...tapi......................sangat puas ati....sbb Irish Coffee dye sgt SHEEEEDDDAAAPPPP!!!!! lalala.....

=IRISH COFFEE yang damn sedap.=)

pastu, aku tak terSENGAJA cakap nak g Mangalore if Sabtu tu cuti...(C-kin and Farah menjadi saksi..=p)...tapi kan......tapi kan.....tapi kan.....ngeee~~~...aku tak jnji taw sahabat2 terCHENTA ku....Ikut pada m00d ak s0k n tahap kekuatan aku utk pegi.Sbb aku igt nak setelkan pbl dis weekend.hmm...=)...if x jadi, s000rrrrryyy taw...=)..cyg korunk~=D...

last but n0t least, aku teringin sangat nak g Malpe Beach tu...Nak sgt naek unta tuh....(seni0r ckp ada unta kt sna..)...tapi ni pun x sure.....Kalo rezeki aku nak jumpa Encik2 unta tu aku pegi k0wt.=)...hee.....

Owh, d final last...ni lagu yang baru aku start suka....Actually, dah lma dah suka...tapi terlupa nak d0wnload.hee..bkan terlupa sangat..tapi x smpat...=D..have fun guys~~

• 
  
  My Life Would Sucks Without You- Kelly Clarkson


• 
  
  Gives You Hell- All American Reject


• 
  
  Terlanjur Cinta- Pasha Ungu & Rossa


• 
  
  Check Yes Juliet- We The Kings


• 
  
  I Will Be- Leona Lewis


• 
  
  Thinking Of You- Katy Pery

Ucapan TERIMA KASIH kpd Mr Oyop atas ketidak putus asaan....=)...

MINGGU YANG MENARIK..

Salam.....bertemu lagi di Chocolate....=)...Thanks cz listening to me Chocolate...Serious aku dah tak taw nak citer dekat sapa lagi....Hanya kamu...=)...Days passed as usual this week..cumanya ada la benda2 yang menarik berlaku, yang not-so-good pon ada jugak....Mana aku nak cerita nih....urm...aku citer dua2 jela....Kepada sapa2 yang dah kenal aku, surely kamu2 semua tau kan aku bukannya jenis yang cepat x de MOOD or wut soeva...cz i'm living my life to the fullest....=D...Yeap...memang pon...Pada sapa yang tak taw, fi3 nih suka senyum..haha...bkn tiba2 senyum..tu dah cm tak betol namanya..=D..cuma mmg aku suka senyum...sbb bila senyum, walaupun kita rasa sedeyh or x selesa, sumanya akan turns out to be normal...camtu la lebih kurang...(+_+)..sowe,mengarut sikit....haha...ok, berbalik pada story utama....ada byk benda berlaku recently...antaranya:::

• Dinner dengan Mr Khairudin...(sapa yang dah baca blog Ckin surely dah taw.Saja je sibuk nak cakap gak..haa...sebabnye...aku pun amek gambar dengan dye jugak...lalala...fyi, dye bkn fotogenic..haha..tapi di luar, dye DAMN SMART!! haha..(*honest*)

Saya & Dia...=p

day.ckin.fi3

• bangun lambat ari rabu tuh~..Kol 7.30pagi!!! Kelas kol 8.00pagi..mmg chill giler kot tyme tuh..haha...buat2 'CHILL'..seb baek dissection bkn lecture..h0h0...seb baek jugak dissection hall tu agak dekat...=D..Fi3, jgn ulang lagi okeyh darling?=p

• Shopping for d sake of donation dekat Nehru Memorial Hall...Utk anak2 yatim if x salah...=)..
  
  

orange strip bks pencil+pink-black strip tula yg aku beli.:)

• Aku dah taw class test result..I've to work harder...Nak struggle giler2 after dis.Ada ppl yg keep supporting me from bax....Thanks..:)...I really appreciate it...

• Ada makan2 dengan senior..suka sbb nasi dye sedap.Group dulang aku,num 16(lucky number) tambah 2kali....(Kak Elina,Kak Diyana, Kak Alifah and Kak Aqilah..nice to noe u guys.:)

• Kena habeskan pbl Anatomy: Thigh...=(..hAilo...weekend yg byk keja kena buat..

Okla, dat's ol for now...Moga bertemu lagi di laen hari.Thanks to Chocolate..=)..

Wajah baru semangat baru...lalala

Ppl!!!!!
Heee.....I've already updated my current profile and my blog....hee.....
Byk benda nak letak lagi sebenarnya tapi I've got lots of work to be done.....as such::

• study humerus and revise dissection tadi
• embryology...
• habehkan baca bi0chemistry yg x penah setel baca..haha...(btw,td baru realise homework minggu lepas..lalala...=p)
• kemas2 blik yang sgt bersepah macam kapal titanic yg terbelah dua masa langgar ice tu....
• basuh baju yg bertimbun timbun...ekeke...(ada dobi je tp aku x sanggup antar....=p..basuh sendiri baru experience..KONON!!..+_+

Itu sahaja.fullstop.ini wajah baru CHOCOLATE.selalulah melawat CHOCOLATE.maka anda semua akan merasa kemanisan dan keceriaan hidup...ahaha....dadada~~~=D

So many miles..So many tears

Sungguh...

Betul....

Aku tak tipoo..... Sungguh aku RINDU!!!!

Ma, abah, MISH u guys a lot!!!!!...=(...

tak taw nape tetiba, aku TERINGAT kat mereka berdua.....

Jaga diri baek2 taw....Nurul SAYANG bangat mak dengan abah.....

Here is d new POEM...entitled: So Many Miles So MAny Tears. Enjoy..=)

So many miles, so many tears,

everything will be alright is what I long to hear.

Although one day I know I'll be close to y'all again,my heart is still in fear,

because there's so many miles, so many tears.

God forbid if something should ever happen to y'all,

I want to be near,

because I'll always regret that I was so many miles and shedding so many tears.

Mom and dad if something should ever happen to me,

I want y'all to tell my sister's and my brother not to worry and not to fear,

for I will be watching them from a place so many miles, so many tears.

This poem is dedicated to my mom and dad who has been there for me throughout the years,I want them to know that I love them and miss them even though we're so many miles, so many tears!

biskut~sweet buns~

Indahnya ari ini~...

Haish...Fitri mengarut lagi...Memang 'INDAH'...Tadi x smpt nak breakfast...Pastu aku pown bawak biskut g kls...OMG!! Hari ni start kls dgn dissection..Lupa lak..Huh...So what? Does it matter? it does matter la syg ooi...X kan kau nak makan dpan encik2 cadaver itu...huh...okayh... So aku pon amek biskut n kluar dr dissection hall (DH).. Segan la nak makan sorg2 kat luar maka ajaklah Ckin tman..Thanks dear~ hee....X taw napa hari ni pada aku bau cadaver2 tu kuat ssgt..mayb sbb ak baru pas bfast kot...so rasa biskut masih terasa dalam masa yg sama terhidu bau formalin..i'll get used to it...ish...tp seriously takes time kot....ummm.... Ari ni blaja part blakang badan...Actually x smpt blaja pn..sempat dissect je...And for d first lecturer bg group ktorng dissect SENDIRI! Sgtlah happy...n sgt satisfied....=)..But ari ni ak spoiler of d day..hee...not my fault...aku terpotong cket part of muscle..ganas sgt kowt...ehehe....cacat je superficial fascia dye..ngeh3,,,,Dat wuz fun...Pastu da abeh dissection time break ktorg grak g satu stall kot...jual samosa,sweet buns...sgt rmai la cz mmg sdap pn...thanks to farah she managed to get d SWEET BUNS..ngee...n thanks to her jugak dye kasi kat aku satu..lalala...puasnye HATI....n d worst part for today is dat...tetiba ktorng bru prasan yg ESOK ada SDL...physiology...tu pn sbb Mr James ingatkan...seriously suma dlm lecture hall tu x igt pasal neyh...=)..So, tido lmbat cket la mlm nih..CHAIYOK!!!!!! (*_*)

Bermulanya perjalanan baru di sini...=)

ppl...hee....lamenye x update blog...Bukan tidak mahu tapi agak kebuzyian di situ...lalala....owh, btw, i'm here already...The place where I'm gonna start my journey to b a medical student...Melaka Manipal Medical College...Mula2 dtg memang agak terkejut la...With d environment n suma benda la...But after all, manipal isn't that bad....=)...Camana ek nak describe manipal...Manipal ni satu tmpat di dalam Karnataka state la lebih kurang...Tempatnye x dela terpencil sgt tp boleh la utk hidup di sini....utk blaja sgt sesuai la...(maybe dat's y univ nih di bina kat cni kot).. Okayh, ari ni aku akan ceritakan apa yg ada pada manipal...Btw, don't judge a book by its cover keyh...heee...ada positive n negativenye...

• FOOD-food kat cni sgt snang dpt...alhamdullilah la...Sbb maybe bcz rmai malaysian kt cni....my batch pon dah almost hundred++...cma mybe rasa dye x sma dgn kat msia la...but wut to do...kena la blaja adapt...heee...

masa ni kat snack shack..=)

• senior2 ramai kat cni...so kitorang x de la mcm 'TERSESAT' kt cni...=)




• bilik yg selesa..walaupun x ley masak dalam bilik...bilik kitorng single n toilet sndiri....=)..sangat sesuai utk blajar...

ni bilik KU..SORRY LA kalo bersepah..hee..bz2..ekeke

ni my bilik gak..tapi different angle...heee

• buku suma sangat cukup n sesuai utk study....=)..

k la ppl..tu jer yg mampu nak citer..Actually, ada byk lagi nak citer, but i've got lot of things waitin to b settled down...Nanti ada masa update lagi....comment la yg bernas2...heee...Till then, CHOW!! (+_+)

chENTA lollipop

My new novel.kind of.haha..ni chapter one=The freaky black bag..hee... Nti I sambung..hee...

Iana opened her eyes. She fumbled, searching for her watch. “Oh, shit. I’m late.” It was already 8.30 am. She got Anatomy class at 9.00am. Anatomy class by Mr. Frank. Frankly speaking, he was damn strict lecturer that she knew. Indeed. No one could beat him. She made her way to the bathroom, pulling hard a towel written ‘LOLIPOP’, hanging on the rope next to her bed. It was a nice, colourful towel. Pink, purple, red, yellow, white and black. Oh, black! All of sudden, it reminded her to a black bag that she found when she was walking on a lame street alone after she finished her class yesterday. Nothing precious was in there. The only thing that she found was an ‘untouchable’ lollipop. She smiled alone. Maybe the owner of the bag was a little kid who loves to have lollipop. Hee... Iana switched on the hair dryer to dry her hair of course. She had to be as quick as she could so that she won’t be late to the class. She put on a white blouse and a jean that really fit her. She looked nice. “Bravo! No breakfast today honey.” She uttered to herself. Yes, one of the way to lose weight. Hee... Another 5 minutes to go. Chayok!

cayang mereka~

Today.I'm gonna tell ya.bout my family.bout my abah.mak.n all ma lil sis n bros.Yeap.I love them.A lot..If only I can tell them how much I love them n prove to them..Yes i can.First and foremost.Let me told ya guys about my abah.My d only abah.My abah who has teach me a lot of things.Who has given to me those spirit to keep on moving.I love him.A lot.

ABAH~::: MUSTAPA BIN ZAINUL...Abah dlu pnah jd tentera laut.Tyme tu aku pun lum lahir lg.Dia berkhidmat kt Lumut.Somewhere in Perak.Tapi once aku dah lahir, dye berhenti.Tah~.Dia ckp x mau dah jadi tentera.nak blek kedah.tu la yg dy ckp.Hehe,abah2...Once i was born on 31august 1989, he decided to shift bax to Kedah.TO stay bax with tok n tokwan.Aku pernah tnya abah..napa abah pilih nak jd tentera nih? abah ckp saje.suka2..Dy pnah cita dlu.Tok suruh abah apply jd cikgu.Dy pn apply tp bkn keinginan dye la.Bla tem interview org tu tnye sapa suh pilih nak jd cikgu nih? Abah cakap 'mak saya yang suruh. Saya x mau pun'..Haha...terus kna reject jd cikgu,haha.mmg btul la abah.ekeke...bla dah blik kedah, abah tolong tokwan.Jual2 barang2 dapur.mcm bawang,cabai n mcm2 lg lah.bahan makanan mentah.tp bukn ayam ke ikan ke sayur ke..hee..dy jual sampai skarang.dy p pasar malam...siang2 jual brg2 tu smpai skang..hehe...aku taw dye enjoy buat bnda tu..:)...personally, abah nie tenang orgnya...dye bkn jns kalut or sth lyke dat.dy cool je..kadang2 mak pn marah gk dye sbb cool sgt..hehe...aku x ikut cm abah kot..sbb ku bkn jenis kool...lalalala~...dye lahir pada 10/10/1958....abah, nurul syg abh bgt!.....

MAK~::FATIMAH BT HAJI HAMZAH...Mak~Someone dat i lurve d most...Yg perlu ada supaya aku hidup d muka bumi nih...Yang tak pernah putus2 bg smngt kt aku utk terus berjuang...Mak...she is a teacher...cikgu la...cikgu d skhhd....Dye sgt kuat semangat.....nama pn mak kan..keep nagging but it's all for our goods...:0...lol....mak dilahirkan pada 15/01/1964...Aku igt lagi.. Aku pnah patah smngt...slalu sgt...tp dye keep telling that i have to b strong....Mak bkn jenis cool mcm abah.tpi mak jenis spontanious.Dye akan buat keputusan yg spontan tp it brings gud effect...Mak bkn jenis pendiam...heheeh.....ramai ckp muka aku mcm mak...mungkin kot....aku taktaw....ehehe....Mak...asi f u noe...i love u...sgt2!!!!!!!!!!! I'll promise i'll make u more happy than today....i'm sure i will....

INA~:: NURUL FARINA...my lil sis...d first lil sis...wuz born on 5/11/1990.....she's studying at kmpp in short for KOLEJ MATRIKULASI PULAU PINANG...hehe..i love her...org ckp dye nampak mcm kakak compared to me... ye ke? aku pn x taw....dye nih jenis suka berterus terang.....heee....n suka bg smngt..tu yg suka citer paper pn kt dye...i love u!

WAWA~::NURUL NAJWA....adikku yg number 2....wuz born on 10/9/1993..Akan melanjutkan pelajaran ke SMS muar....Best of luck sis....Dye jenis gila2...haha...suka cari pasal...tp kelakar...im gonna mish her a lot.:(

ADAM~::MUHAMMAD ADAM...wuz born on 1/4/1995..yg nih tak taw nak ckp..adik lelaki aku yg sulung..ni jenis suka memberontak...tahla...haha...bkn memberontak cmna....nakal ckit...suka nek moto dgn kawan2 wp mak n abah x bagi...haish...tp hati dye lembut,...:)

ADIK~::MUHAMMAD ALIFF....adik aku paling kecik..bru darjah 5..wuz born on 14/11/1998...aku sgt syg kat dye2~~~ manja nih...heee

Ya Allah...Seriously.... I'm feeling guilty to someone rite now.. He was misunderstood on something...Yes he is.. But i didnt mean that way..SORRY!!!

haish,,,,,

hurm..da lma sudah.tidak update profil.
rumah i x de tenet.tu yg payah skit tuh.hee....ni pon kt cc..urm...
life cti sgt besh~
tp bosal laks..
nak tw tak pe rutin aku ari2..hee....
i will soon list it out...

• bgn pagi solat subuh.heh~kewajipan keyh.h0h0
• tito blek.tak TAHAN nantok..ekeke~
• patu bngun tolong ma kmas umah~
• tgok citer dongeng...smpai kol 3.30..
• patu citer JELITA. jelita cm sayer tak?hehe
• PATU KUAR JLN2..
• ptg men badminton or g kedai dgn adek
• malam tgok tb.bce novel.

itula.most of d routine.bosan x rasanya.bosan giler beb~tpi taper.bla lgi nak spend time dgn pamily terchenta kn.hurm..di saat dan tika ini....kita dah pn nak msuk tahun brui..2009...mcm org len aku pun punya AIM TARGET dan pape la lagi org panggil...nnti aku tulih lgi....ada bnda nak settle nih...chow kwn2..muahksss!!!!!