Opinion

This is not the issue of pointing and blaming others, this is the issue of consideration as a human being.

Thank you.

Salam Awal Muharram :)

Assalamualaikum, dear friends. =))

Hi, we meet again, after so long I guess? Yeah, been having about a week holiday, currently in surgical posting, really kept my day so busy. Anyway, it's not that I don't have idea to babble in Cekelat, it's just that, I don't have time to sit and publish an entry. It's okay, since now I am in a good mood I shall say, let's use it wisely, let's update my days recently.

All in all, as what I've mentioned, I actually just came back from my hometown, Guar Chempedak, Kedah, from a 6 days of holiday (including one day 'buat buat cuti sendiri';p), and this cuti was actually for Deepavali together with the holiday for Awal Muharram, the beginning in Muslim's calendar if you don't know. :).

Part 1: Regarding the holidays, I've spent my time happily at home, yeah, at least a 6 days of holidays was worth compared to that time whereby I just came back home for three days during Hari Raya Haji. :( To take revenge of that, then I went back again this time, with the beloved. :) Being at home, when everybody was there, all my siblings, parents were there, since school holidays have been started already, I had so much joy and fun. My family is a spontaneously-crack-the-jokes-type and I, the one who listened, laughed so much, to their jokes. Alhamdullilah for that ;). Although we didn't go out much that time, (only visited some family members), since my house was under renovation, we still enjoyed ourselves at the place called home. :) Thank you thank you thank you. ;). That's why when I came back to hostel, few days ago, I was so homesick, since sleeping with my sisters has turned into sleeping alone in this room. :( But, never mind, whatever it is, I really have to stay alone, no choice, just have to be patient, and keep my spirit up high, that's the most important things. Thanks to my sistas for the support and to you too :') (I don't actually tell my parents about the homesick feeling I've been experienced last few days, since I didn't want to worry them, let  they know that I am just fine here, struggling hard to excel as a medical student and soon, a doctor, insyaAllah :)

Part 2: Being back at home means being able to date. Haha, so naughty one. ;P. But, in fact, it was true anyway for me. :D. This time around, we chose, again Penang, as the place to visit? Haha, well kinda la. :D. But, for me, this was the special one, very special one, I really realized that, somebody  really take good care of me, love me, and need me. And I do too. :") Thank you for the sad scene, and thank you la for making me teared a bit, because of so grateful having you in my life. :) . I pray to Allah s.w.t to ease our way, and to bless this relationship till we tie the knot and till the day after insyaAllah one fine day, amin :). And now I am tearing but.. shh! :"). And ah, not to forget, thank you for the ice-creammmmmm which I 'kempunan' so much!! :P

Thanks :)

Part 3: Gaza, Palestin vs. Israel. Please guys, have the thought in mind that, we, as Muslims really need to fight for them, need to support them. If we can't really provide those things, like weapons, booms, M16, at least, we pray for them will ya? :") Pray that Allah s.w.t help our siblings out there, in their jihad for Islam. :"). Amin. ;) and it does count. :)

Part 4: Interbatch is back! :) And as usual, I am one of the 'bidan terjun' to play all the games which I really don't have any idea about, just a little skill left, at least to participate. :P. Done with basketball and badminton. And AS USUAL, I won! Haha, no la, mimpi la, I LOST actually! :D

Part 5: Our superb Surgery lecturer, Professor Dr. Than Zhint gonna resign from MMMC in a two weeks time. :( So sad, but at least I've got the chance to join his OT with other colleagues. :)  And plus, at least, I've got a picture with him. Yay! :)))

Part 5: Jaab Taak Hai Jaan. Wanna watch please? :))))))



#np That Thing You Do- The Wonders.

Hey

Life's like that, yes like that. Happy Sunday everybody. Today I woke up so so late, like a boss. I know, as a so-called anak dara, it isn't nice to wake up that late. Hee, but I was so tired these few days, thanks I shall say to Surgery. T_T. But, never mind, I should have get used to it, P2S1 is really around the corner actually. About less than 14weeks liddat. Few things happened:

• Medicine results have come out, Alhamdulillah I passed, even I only got 64. It's okay, I should have be grateful for that matter. Thank you Allah, I shall work harder next time for the remaining Surgery, Paediatrics and ONG which will be followed by P2S1. 
• I'm going back weeheeeee! On Deepavali with love. :)

That's all. And yes, I am still craving for the ice- cream @_@

#np Our Hearts Are Wrong.

Surgery.

2nd day of Surgery Posting. I think about babbling something in Cekelat. It won't take much time, 15 minutes will do. =).

Salam and hello everybody.. Hi, since I've been gone for quite a long time. Can imagine right, an 8 weeks of Medicine posting, continues with the busiest posting which is Surgery which I am facing it now. I know, it's a bit too exaggerating saying that I am damn tired because of surgery since this is only the second day of the battle. A lot more to come. But, truth is yes, I am so so tired, with a bit of feeling unwell physically. I feel feverish, cough with running nose, maybe because lately this is the season of sickness I guess. Even my best friends, Mun and Zaty also had just recovered from those fevers. My turn has come. I don't like this feeling, feeling of unwell making me so lazy to do things, so lethargic most of the time, but however surgery postings requires me to spend a lot of time to study! Yes, a lot, since there are many things being covered. Before you can do well in Surgery I should be good in Anatomy. Even the distance between pubic symphysis and pubic tubercle does matter! ( 1.25cm, hee, nak berlagak jap because this was the only fact I knew when Dr Das Gupta asked us this morning. Hihi). Yes, surely ANATOMY is important, in fact you need to know every single thing because when you are in an operation, surely you don't want to get sued when you wrongly remove the organ, since you are weak in Anatomy right? A fact.

Thinking about this unwell feeling makes me so can't wait to go home, I miss home. Alhamdulillah, I've bought ticket to go back to Kedah which will be on this Monday! Hip Hip Hooray! =)..

Results medicine is not out yet . I am so scared, having so many negative thoughts that I might have failed because I couldn't answer much during the exams, and in fact if I answered some of the questions, I've checked and turned out to be most of them were wrong. Pity me. :( Please, pray for me, at least I pass. :( I don't want to consider to be as in ' Conditional state' in which I need to pass 8/10 in Osce station during the real exam P2S1. I hope and pray that I pass. Amin.

That's all for the now. Just wanna tell you one thing.

"I'm sorry if because of me, you can't focus so much. I'm really sorry, and I will be away for a while, and make sure you focus to the max! :)"

P/s: I'm so addicted to ice-cream and so kempunan!!

Let's have a scoop of ice cream together please one day? :)

Maafkan aku, andai kacau bilau dalam jiwa hadir dengan hadirnya aku,
Maafkan aku, andai malam-malammu tak setenang dulu kerna adanya aku,
Maafkan aku, andai airmata ini kerap kali menitis bila dengan kamu,
Maafkan aku, andai aku terlalu membebankanmu..
Maafkan aku.....

EOP Medicine.

After 8 weeks of medicine it is finally over. I just finished my end of posting examination today itself. The outcome? A big sigh I shall say.. :( I am so super sad, why this happened to me? I have studied so hard, I've risked my two days postings just to make sure that I studied well for the exam. :(

Not to say that I was regretted of what I've done in the process of studying, it was just that, why I couldn't do well even I've worked hard?

Just remember, that everything has been arranged by The Almighty, we couldn't do anything except for keep working and praying. At the end of the day, I finally try to accept that whatever happened, happened for a reason. Ya Allah, everything that You've arranged, I know have hikmah behind it. Please let my heart accept it. Berserahlah... Doakanlah yang terbaik. Moga aku PASS. :(

Random ?

5 random things for the day.

• Extended short case, which I have just done today with Dr . Bashir. 
• I left my phone in my room for a day, and so restless thinking that I might have lost it. 
• I love my parents, and I love them a lot. I love my family and you too :)
• I should start saving! Going to be like a walking pieces of bones, for another 4 months!
• InsyaAllah, I will be going home for Deepavali :)

Hello. ;)

Hey you.

I kinda miss you.

:").

1 hari 1 resepi.

To you, thank you for the birthday gift. I knew you kept saying sorry for the delayed birthday gift, but I just want you to know that, getting a birthday wish from you was actually more than enough. :-*..

Here are the gifts.

Thank you! =) I know the first one was demanded by me, heee =p..


Well, as per saying, I have tried two recipes from the recipe book, 1 hari 1 resepi. There were the simple ones, since I didn't have so much time and plus, I didn't have enough ingredients, maybe next time I will try a complex one, ready with the ingredients.

Here it goes! All the ingredients and recipes will be explained in Malay since this is Malay food, and I am a bit comfortable in explaining things in Malay actually. Hope it would be fine. :)
1) The first one was sambal sardin. 


Ingredients:
Bahan A:
I tin kecil sardin
2 biji tomato
1 labu bawang besar
3sudu minyak masak
Garam secukup rasa.

Bahan B:
3 sudu cili boh ( half cooked)
separuh labu bawang besar ( dicincang)
3 ulas bawang putih (dicincang)

How to do:
1. Panaskan minyak masak didalam multi cooker, tumis bahan B hingga pecah minyak.
2. Masukkan sardin, bawang besar dan garam. (Boleh tambah sos tomato). Kemudian, kacau rata.
3. Masukkan tomato dan kacau rata.
4. Tutup api dan sedia dihidang. ;)

2) Kubis goreng

Ingredients:
500gm kubis manis
2 biji telur
1 labu bawang besar (dihiris)
3 ulas bawang putih (dihiris)
3 sudu minyak masak
Garam secukup rasa

How to do:
1.Kubis dipotong kecil dan dicuci bersih. Kemudian tuskan.
2. Panaskan minyak dan tumiskan bawang besar dan bawang putih sehingga wangi.
Masukkan kubis. Kacau rata.
3. Pecahkan telur di dalam kuali.
4. Kacau rata.
5. Rasakan masinnya.
6. Sedia dihidang.

I know, it seems so simple, but that's only I could help cooking myself, for the busy life as medical student, plus not much ingredients I had during the time. I will try to cook something a bit complex later. Hee. Till now, salam.

Block

Tomorrow is the day, the block test. Medicine block test. I just hope everything goes well, even I know I didn’t complete the readings yet. I am tired already. I just hope that I can tahan for another at least one hour. Medical student is like this, full of hard work, busy in a day but at the end of the day, we are all seemed very lethargic and tired. Running here and there in the ward, clerking case, doing examination, being scolded by nurse, m.o, h.o, consultant and even being scolded by the patient for disturbing their sleeps are actually our routines. How can we say no? Being in a 4th year, is a bit near to the end of the journey. I just have to be strong, keep my spirits up high, ready for the next battle. I really pray that I can face all of these very well, I really hope so. Amin. Amin. 

Empty little box

Salam. It's been a while since I blogged last time. Sorry, I am a bit busy with the new posting, Medicine and plus, I am the group leader. So many things to deal with, so many people to be tolerated to, and so many stuffs left unsettled.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, I feel like running away.. Running away from all the hectic medical student life, tired of all the people who keep look down on me, tired of all the things I learn but I keep forgetting, tired of all the feelings I buried deep down my heart, but nobody really cares or if they do, they can't do anything at last. Being a doctor, is what I wish once upon a time when I was a child. When my parents asked what would I be when I grew up, or when my teacher asked, I immediately said that I want to be a doctor without a pause between the question. Even when I read my profile in my friends' book, my ambition was a doctor. I don't know why I prefer that career those time, although I didn't have any of my family who was a doctor, or soon to be a doctor. Maybe mass media played an important roles to all of these.

Now, when it is so near to the exam, I keep thinking that, can I pursue to the next level, can I? I'm not a distinction, great great student, I study but I sometimes, forget what I already learnt, and I'm not a good student, bright one. I become restless in the wards, still learning on how to take good history, being condemned by the lecturers for the simple mistakes is a routine. What I can do now, pray hard and work hard. :(.

Still, I feel like I want to run away, away from here, away from everyone else, where nobody can find me. I know I burden people so much, especially my parents, and you. I know. I'm of no good, I demand a lot, really a lot. I know, they always get annoyed to me, I know. They never miss me, do they? :(. Demanding things for a birthday isn't a good thing, Nurul Fitrilina. Who do you think you are? A princess? Or a celebrity whom being love by everyone? I am like an empty little box who is ready to be thrown out from any place. I am like that, true story. To vomit out what I say, I never do that. Because if I do, I just add up the burden to them. Don't dream of a good treat, good gift, from them, because you know you are nothing to them, really. You are nothing. You are meaningless to them.

Hello there, wind, or the rain,
Bring me away from here,
Let me disappeared, with no trace,
Let me fly and gone and never come back,
The existence of me  isn't a dream for others,
They never care, never even look up for me,
Yes, I am, an empty little box,
Ready to be kicked out.

=(