"Real me"


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Saturday, October 31, 2009

spotters.

spotters.
really spoiled my mood the whole evening.
y spotters? hmmm~T__T
even I tried and worked so hard, the outcomes were not as much as what I did before.
maybe what Eddie said during tazkirah that day was true.
"Semua ini ujian Allah. Allah tak akan uji umatNya yang tak dapat nak melalui ujian2-ujian ini."
atau..
"Mula-mula, memanglah penuh dengan ulat.Tapi jangan lupa, ulat itu akan bertukar jadi rama-rama yang cantik suatu hari nanti."
These two things that keep me in the steady mood these few days.
Oh Tuhan, tabahlahh hati ini.
Kuatkan hati ini macam dulu.
*sigh*

Friday, October 30, 2009

sometimes vs often


Sometimes...
When you did good things but it ended up with failure..
You feel like hope is gone,
You feel like you deserve something better..
You feel like the life is so unfair..

Sometimes..
when you are at the floor..
You don't have the gut to look up..
To reach the wall even you know you can't touch the roof..

Sometimes..
You see people smiling,
cause they get what they wish,
cause they hold the victory in satisfaction..
Cause they manage to reach the top..

Often,
You stop in the middle of the journey..
You step back and think..
wonder and question..
"Can I be the one?"

Thursday, October 22, 2009

ok.=)


-You Belong With Me-


You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she dosent get your humor like I do...
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she dosen't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'

But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see, you
You belong with me

You belong with me
Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
Baby...
You belong with me

Oh'
I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know your about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me

Friday, October 16, 2009

Don't judge me.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."
Don't judge me by who I am..
Don't judge me by how I look..
Don't judge me by what I did..
Cause I can do more than what u think.
And I can cross the boundaries if I have too.
So, PLEASE.
Don't look down on me.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

wajar x?

Hidup? Macam ni lah. Macam biasa.Ke kelas dan balik study.
Exam block dah tak lama dah.
Aku masih macam ni. Tak betul-betul utilise masa dengan semaximumnya.
*Sigh*....Tapi apakan daya memang salah aku sendiri kot.
Tak boleh nak salahkan sesiapa.
Ohh...Current new events. Akan ke JASSI weekend nih.
At last, dapat jugak.
InsyaAllah ada rezeki aku p.
Tapi at the moment, I am just soo guilty.
Sebab at the same weekend, bebudak Devangere nak datang.
T___T..
Waaa.....Mahu spend time dengan mereka.
Tapi mahu juga belajar tentang bagaimana nak handle kehidupan sebagai seorang doktor suatu masa nanti secara Islamicnya.
Itu juga penting.
Tapi aku tekad pada hati.
Aku pilih yang kedua.
Tapi kawan2, bukan bermakna kalian diketepikan!
Aku sayang kalian!
=)..
Moga kita dapat jumpa lagi di lain waktu andai nanti tidak berkesempatan.
Doakan yea.:)
Ada satu cherita lagi.
Tadi tak semena-mena air mata gugur.
Hahaha.
Ada rasa malu di situ.
kui2.Cheritanya begini:
Beberapa hari lepas aku ada laa buat status FB.
"Fitrilina Mustapa kerinduan pada anak2.ipin,ilang,entoi,ummey,itam."
Itulah status aku.
Tiba-tiba lepas gap kelas kul 2, aku check email.
Ina, adikku comment.
Dia cakap ada 2 ekor anak2 aku mak teh bawak balik rumah.
Terus tepon mak, tanya.
Dan aku nangis sebab itu.
Masih berfikir wajarkah?T__T

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Ajab Si Om Shanti Om.

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite

Aayi aisi raat hai jo bahut khushnaseeb hai
This night is very lucky

Chahe jise door se duniya, woh mere kareeb hai
The one whom the whole world desires is close to me

Kitna kuch kehna hai phir bhi hai dil mein sawaal kahin
I have so much to say and yet I question….

Sapnon mein jo roz kaha hai woh phir se kahoon ya nahin
Should I voice what I’ve so often repeated in my heart?

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite

Tere saath saath aisa koi noor aaya hai
The light emanating from you

suka lagu ni..(:


Chand teri roshni ka halka sa ek saaya hai
Makes even the moonlight but a pale shadow compared to you

Teri nazron ne dil ka kiya jo hashar, asar yeh hua
Your eyes created such a tumult in my heart that…

Ab inme hi doob ke ho jaoon paar, yahi hai dua
All I wish for now is to drown in them

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

kalo nak filter dulu aci x?

comel.
sweet.
hee.tahlaa.tetiba nak sebut benda2 indah tu.
walaupun tak jadi kat aku pon.
kat org lain tapi aku jugak tumpang happy.
weee. finding PRINCE HENRY isn't a simple thing I guess.
Banyak benda kena filter.
Antaranya:
  • mata takbule sepet.
  • tak nak yang putih melepak cam pompuan.
  • mahu sawo matang.
  • tamau yang jambu.
  • mahu beriman, bule leads aku.ketua yang baeek.ewaah.(:
  • harus at least sebaya.tamau muda.tua lagi bagus.kekeke.
  • mahu yg sanggup bwk aku p Eiffel Tower.=p
  • mahu yang minat BMW juga macam aku.
  • terima aku seadanya.allollolloh.
  • the rest goes on.
Haha.Manusia memang.Memilih nya lebih2.Biasalah tu.adat.Tapi jodoh ketentuan dah di tangan Dia.Apa bule buat.Terima saja.Filter ke tak ke, suma dah ditentukan.Hee.Pasrah sudeyh.-_-

Monday, October 5, 2009

D’Masiv – Merindukanm

Lagu baru~ Hmm...Actually, the new song that I found out to be interesting.Hee..Enjoy.(:

saat tertawa di atas semua
saat aku menangisi kesedihanku
aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang


selama aku masih bernafas
masih sanggup berjalan
ku kan slalu memujamu

meski ku tak tahu lagi
engkau ada di mana
dengarkan aku ku merindukanmu

saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya
saat aku meratapi kekalahanku
aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang


Thursday, October 1, 2009

melayang tapi perlu focus.

Aku akan terus berblogging.Aku akan terus mencurahkan apa yang kau rasa kat sini.Chocolate jer yang dengar je apa yang aku ngarut.Aku tak betul2 stable sekarang ni.Walaupun depan semua orang aku pretend macam aku okay.Macam aku orang paling happy dalam dunia.Tapi aku selalu melayang lately.AKu perasan sangat benda ni.Kenapa aku perlu MELAYANG? Melayang sebab si budak itu yang tak pernah nak menghargai aku? Melayang sebab orang lain yang selalu pandang rendah pada kebolehan aku? Melayang sebab aku terus diam walaupun hati aku memberontak? Melayang sebab aku rasa jauh hati sangat? Melayang sebab apa? AKu pun tak pasti mengapa.Tapi to be damn honest, aku memang melayang.Sekarang yang patutnya aku study aku masih lagi berblogging padahal banyak lagi benda yang perlu aku settlekan, dengan histo yang belum lukis, notes JP yg bertimbun.Anatomy lower limb yang blum lagi aku bukak buku untuk revision. Kenapa aku macam ni? Fitri, cuba focus. Please. TInggalkan terus apa yang dah berlalu. Dulu2, kau selalu kuatkan diri kau EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. kan senang tu? Ingat je benda tu, and tolong pandang depan balik. Jangan melayang time JP tengah ajar pasal maximum transport, pasal renal threshold. Jangan melayang masa Jay ajar liver.Jangan melayang bila orang cakap dengan kau.Jangan melayang bila kau tengah lukis histo,takut-takut kau lukis benda yang tak sepatutnya. Fitri, silalah kuat.SIlalah jangan melayang lagi. Buang rasa jauh hati tu jauh-jauh. DIa takkan pernah paham. Lupakan pada kisah lalu. Biarkan semuanya berlalu. Buka diary baru. Diary lama dah sampai last page. Dah tak boleh nak sambung lagi walaupun kau sumbat macamana pun.Space dah tak cukup. Air mata tolong jangan mengalir lagi. Chocolate, thanks for listening. Fitri nak sambung belajar. Fitri nak kuat lagi. Betul nak kuat macam superwoman.