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Saturday, July 22, 2017

Love💜

Love is blind. Love is hurtful but amazingly curable. Love is to give and take. You don't just put the word love if you don't really mean it by heart. You don't utter you love someone if your heart doesn't pound when you are with that particular someone or something. Why I say love is hurtful? Because we can easily tear apart / break/ disappoint by emotion if your loved one hurts you. It is just simple math literally. Loving someone means you have to sacrifice a lot of things; time, interest, hobby or maybe wealth and health. You don't simply love someone but you forget about sacrifices you need to make. You don't simply love someone but you ignores them at the point they need you or maybe you don't be with them when they are at the point of breaking. It's easy said than done I know.
When you don't sacrifice, what's the points of all those tachycardia you felt back then? What's the point of 'I swear to God I'm gonna take care of you till my last Breath'? Pointless.
Dont forget how hard to reach at today's point of time. Dont forget how complicated things back then. When you got what u wanted, you forgot your vows. When you feel satisfied, you forgot how to console, how to nurture the love, how to feel hard again. Don't regret if you lost your loved one one fine day because of whatever things you might have done but sadly you don't. Don't you regret.

From,
Yours truly.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Humanity

Have you watched/ read recent news nowadays? Be it from the net, newspapers or from other social medias like WhatsApp. The news seem to be of no ending.  I am talking about BULLY. Yes. There were so many bully cases previously but these latest three bully victims were of hot topics, Adik Taqif, Zulfarhan Osman an engineering student,navy cadet in UPNM and the latest one was T Nhaveen, an 18 year old boy.
Adik Taqif was beaten up by the wardens till subsequently he lost his limb due to advanced infection and finally passed away due to a lot of complications.
Zulfarhan was allegedly beaten up, bullied by his college mates, suffered from third degree burn whole body about 80% because of the steam iron, hit by pipes. And eventually passed away, due to severe trauma. Inalillah.
And these few days, we heard the stories about T Nhaveen ( forgive me if spelling error) that suffered brain death, currently in comatose state, again was bullied, hit, sodomised by his old high school friends.

Can you imagine the feelings of the family members especially the parents, relatives and friends of the victims? Allahuakbar. Traumatized, deep saddened, lost hope, disappointed and angry. How could they do to all of them? The parents took care well of these three victims, but were killed/ disabled by a bunch of heartless human beings.

Where is humanity? Where is sympathy? Where is Insanity? Where is love/ affection? Did their parents gave birth to devils? Hmm. With this new generation, the technology is just by the tip of the finger, getting modernized but the mentality, feeling are actually reversing backwards , believe me. What were in their minds while doing that evil acts? Dont they at least have a little bit of feeling pity to the victims?

Do you have the answers to that? Parents, teachers, should they be blamed? Or it was because of the individual problem? The subject of Civic seems of no use. They don't have morals. Maybe just maybe we should take our time,sit back and rethink hard. why It has happened?

Give proper religious knowledge / moral values to your kids, show good act to them, remind them over and over again, the acts and consequences, maybe restrict internet exposure, and most importantly monitor your kids social life. By monitor I didnt mean you being so strict, just enough you know who their friends are, whom they are going out with, their daily activities.

This is for my reminder too. May Allah protect our generation, kids from all those negative influences from outside. Wallahualam.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

We are FOUR!

Assalamualaikum and hello. Surprise. I'm here again, first time for this year. Alhamdulillah we are expanding our little littles family as I just delivered a healthy baby girl on 12 May 2017/ 15 Syaaban on Friday @ 10:35H in HTF weighing 2.6 kg . ( today she is 33 days old) after discussion over discussion with my husband, we finally decided to name her Nur Aafiya Farisa Binti Mohd Aliff.
My labor experience this time was as easy as the first one ( maybe a little bit easier since I was G2P1 that time, anyhow, alhamdulillah thanks to Allah)
The night before, the three of us went to Kuala Perlis to celebrate Ayyaz 2nd birthday. Yeah, it was his birthday but ibu and babah were those who finished the meals . Siakap bakar, kailan ikan masin, telur bungkus, tomyam - such a great combo!!! 😘😘 thank God ibu managed to eat those prior to labor. The next day ibu took a leave planning to celebrate ayyaz birthday again in babysitter house. Siap tempah Kek upin ipin lagi ..but Allah has planned that Adik gonna come out on that dah. ( a day after Ayyaz birthday). I started to have contraction ( I initially thought it was just her kicking, yeah second time could also cause confusion you know😂) at 8 am in the morning,but bearable still. I gathered the laundry to wash them. But to my surprise, that 'little kick' became stronger and stronger I couldn't even stand. By that moment I knew it was CONTRACTION. it became frequent to 2 contractions in a minute. I immediately called up my husband around 930 am telling him and asked him to come home. the pain gets so intense I was actually sweating. Phew. But for me it was bearable.
Once my husband arrived, he immediately did a quick VE ( mind you, there was no glove or any lubricant it was painful too lol) then he made a face that, yeah we should straight away go to hospital. He could feel baby's head already!😱😱 I was like, "whattt, I am not ready yet." But we drove to PAC HTF anyway. Along the journey pain got so intense I felt like pushing. ( really! that time I prayed hard I didnt deliver in the car)
Once in PAC, I was asked to stand on weighing machine. It was standard procedure but hey I was really in pain going to deliver very soon. whatever my weight was it didnt even matter. Haha. Once I laid down on the bed, the staffs tried to set up the CTG all. But before they completed doing it, I shouted, "Kak saya rasa nak teran dah ni.". They became panic immediately more than me. Haha. The senior SN ( KUP) did a VE to me, and os was 9 cm already!
They pushed me hard in a stretcher to the LR and after settling the CTG there, a female doctor and a SN attended me. I told her I really wanna pushed.They allowed me to push but anyhow they tried to prolong the time since they wanted my husband to be in to witness my labor ( he was registering me downstairs). I pushed without waiting for my husband and there she was, a little cute Aafiya came out to see the world. 10 minutes my husband came in with shocked face, didn't expect the delivery process was really quick. Alhamdulillah, you know so far my two deliveries really made ease by Allah swt. I am not trying to boast here I had smooth deliveries. it is more like feeling grateful, thank you Allah. Syukur. Tips? I dont have one. Just seek forgiveness from everyone, your husband particularly prior to labor insyaAllah Allah will do the rest.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

MO. Who, me?

Assalamualaikum.
Alhamdulillah, we met again. After so so long. You know being committed as a wife, mother, daughter and busiest HO, so due to time constraints I didn't able to write in the blog.
Well blogging is my interest. Long lost interest. Hehe. Writing to be exact.
Now, since I already completed my HOship successfully for 2 years (3 months confinement ), I managed to write/ blog back.

Nurul Fitrilina- just like before, clumsy, lazy girl who got married to a hardworking, nice guy.

Mohd Aliff- my soulmate, love of my life. Just like the old him, but rarely bother my sulking period now a days. Haha.

Muhammad Fatah Ayyaz- our first son, entering 1 year 3 months old another few days, struggling hard to walk and makes steps. Don't give up my son!!! :-)

And apparently we are moving to Perlis very soon. I got posted as MO there, either in KK or HTF ( the only hospital there). I wish to stay in KK, please pray for me!!!

Till we meet again. A lot more stories to be told. Till next time, adios!!!

Friday, July 10, 2015

Breaking point

It really hurt me so much. So so much till I couldn't explain that feeling.
It comes slowly to my breaking point. I am breaking at the moment, pieces by pieces fall off.
Won't this is one of our awaiting moments? But why it seems that us become such a burden to you?
Why us makes you apart from us and avoiding us?
Won't we promise to share all good and bad, hurdles and happiness together?
I tried to tell but it seems less interesting to you now I don't know maybe
I feel so much 'far' from you so much

Maybe at this time avoiding is the solution
Or maybe be silent and not to tell is the solution because you never bother to ask anymore it seems

I am sorry if 'us' burdens your life

I AM TRUTHFULLY SORRY.

Yours truly,
A broken piece of heart.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Assalamualaikum all.
Haaa it has been a very long long longggg time since I last updated my blog. Being a doctor and a wife ( now a mother) is really busy and challenging.
Currently  I am in my 4th posting, medical. I was able to be in medical 2 weeks before my maternity leave started. And now I have another a month before coming back to work. Dun wantttttttttt.. :(((

Anyway before further a due, I would like to announce another major life event in my life.

 I AM OFFICIALLY A MOTHER NOW ON 11/5/2015. **clapclapclap**
 I gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing 3.02 kg via SVD with episiotomy.
Name given: MUHAMMAD FATAH AYYAZ BIN MOHD ALIFF, he is exactly 2 months old today:) his current weight is 5 kg. Hee with exclusive breastfeeding... Grow up healthy and be anak soleh to babah and ibu okayyy ;)

Soooo it means now my responsibilities pile up but no matter what alhamdullilllah I enjoy being a wife and mother so far even sometimes I did feel depressed but however with supports all come bacl to normal.

I guess that is all for now. Will update later. Assalamualaikum...

Ayyaz Day 1 of life.

Day 60 of life

Friday, January 3, 2014

I'm someone's wife ;)

Salam everyone. Now I am writing a blog, with a new title. Someone's wife, soulmate and partner in laughters and bad, and yes, how fast time flies, today is our 2 months and 1 day as husband and wife. A lot more to come,I know, but I hope for whatever happen later, we will face it together, I love u so much sayang :)

And for your information too, our final mbbs p2s2 exam is about 24 days left! O Allah. How time flies :( I am still blur, too much to cover, and yet so scared. Please help both of us, all of us to pass with flying colors, be good doctors insyaAllah :)

Actually, a lot of things I want to express, but I will express everything after my exam is over. InsyaAllah :)

I don't what did I do now here in my blog all of sudden, but truth is, he's not in home, he has class, and I am waiting for him to come home ;)

Salam everyone. :)

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Prince charming. :)

Hi. It is raining I guess outside my room. I don't know. I can't hear anything except the sound of the airconditioner and my laptop. Well, first and foremost, thank you readers for I-don't-know-how you reach my blog. Probably I post it somewhere. Today I have my aim on what I'm going to touch upon. PRINCE CHARMING.

Yeah. That is it. Prince charming.: )

For your information, I grew up with the thought of finding one. Yeah, it started since my childhood back then. Maybe influence from the hindi movies I frequently watched (SRK is my favourite yeahh everyone knew about it LOL) on how they met their soulmates and how easily they could fall in love and with the obstacles they had to bear until finally they lived happily ever after. That kind of story I long and I wish.
Sound stupid doesn't it? Sound too fairytale kinda dreams right? But that was the truth. That was my dream.

To begin with, let me tell you guys what kind of girl I was when I was young. I knew truth to be told is quiet humiliating myself but never mind I never wish to be that kind of girl anymore haha. Well, I previously was a girl who kinda playgirl I shall say. Not in the sense of I was soo daymm hot and everyone came rushing to me that kinda thing, not that, but in the sense of me myself who preferred to just entertain or accept for whoever came in my way even I knew that guy was not the guy I looked for or even I knew they were d guys girl would never chase after for. Okay. This is so humiliating but never mind.  I will go on with my story.
Yeah with these guys I texted them when I'm bored, talked nonsense on the phone that kinda things. And tadaaa. And finally it came to so-called love and we became close. See. How easy I was back then. T. T

But deep down my heart, I knew something was not right.
For every guy I met there will always be things got in the way and we finally broke up. Yeah I did feel sad but 2 weeks or more after that, same routine continued.

As I was aging, I had this clearer thought of becoming a doctor which was my ambition since very little. Thus, during my secondary school after form 3, I stopped this habit of just entertaining everybody. I had this aim. And Alhamdulillah, I made it, I got straight A's thus pursuing my study in A level and finally mbbs. And again, the habit continued when I was in my A level except that during the time I was a bit choosy in which those with unclear future were rejected at the initial place. Again deep down my heart, it didn't feel so right falling in love with the random guys. I knew I was bad. I knew.

But these mistakes taught me a lot.

Till I met YOU. Yes. You.

I knew this feeling is special and can never be replaced. This feeling is different. Initially I thought it was just my so called fake love so I tried to resist, but the more I resist the more stronger d feeling I felt. Is this my real love? This was the question that kept me occupied so long back.

Story about my PRINCE CHARMING has faded so long back. Because I hurt too many times so I punished myself and proved myself that PRINCE CHARMING does not exist!

But you gave me hope.
You never say but your eyes did.
You never confessed initially but your care did.
You never faced me but your smile did.

Was it love?

But few things happened to both of us till finally I gave up.
It's like, "I can never get you so please get away kinda feeling. "

And Yes. Again I did very  big mistakes.
I knew you were hurt but I just didn't bother because I thought you never wanted the things I want and if you do, you never tried, still.

And that is LOVE. Allah has written your name next to me and that you are mine so we could get through first obstacles.
You confessed to me and it was the happiest moment in my life.
That was the moment I long.

And to cut short, we managed to face the next obstacles. And yes, now we are enggaged.: )

We are now preparing ourself for our big day, for the completion of our heart.:)
*sambungan bahasa ibunda sebab lagi feel *:)

Maka Allah dah tulis yang kau suamiku dan aku isterimu insyaAllah.:)
Kurang dari 14 hari, status kita bertukar.
Tanggungjawab baru bakal kita pikul. .
Kita bakal bina masjid kita sendiri dengan cinta sendiri atas redha Dia.
Genggam erat tanganku nanti, kita bahagia, ketawa bersama, biar kita tempuhi segala macam dugaan selepas ini bersama. Nangis pun biar bersama.
Aku mahu kongsi segalanya dengan kamu. Ya kamu itu. :)
Mungkin kamu itu PRINCE CHARMING yang aku impikan dulu.
Mungkin tak sesempurna PRINCE CHARMING, tapi apapun kamu,
Baik buruk kamu akan aku sayang seikhlasnya.
Aku harap kamu juga begitu.
Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan kita, jadikan kita suami dan isteri soleh dan solehah, dikurniakan zuriat zuriat yang sentiasa taat kepadaNya.
InsyaAllah.
*Counting days:)*

Untuk kamu, aku sayang kamu kerana Dia.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Incompetent doctor? :(

Assalamualaikum, readers.

Hi. It's 1932 and I should have bathe myself right now, to go to library but well yeah, just wait a while. Today, I feel a bit disappointed, to what comments lecturers have put up during meeting about performances of our groups.

Professor Uduman Ali:" What have you been studying? You should know most of things in medicine now. I thought you guys are only lacking of knowledge and skills in neurology (toughest area in medicine) but it surprised me and it seems that all field of medicines you are all lacking off. You are 10th semester already (final semester before we become a doctor), you SHOULD KNOW everything, just on the tip of your tongue! "

The talk continues by Prof Uduman: "Yesterday, we had a meeting, and this issue has been brought up by Prof Lakshmi. She said none of you are competent for the final exam! Even your semester-in-change ( we know who, and it is Dr. Kolitha)  was also annoyed."

That was it. That was right after my presentation this morning regarding one Neurology case about one pakcik who has this cerebellar disorder presented with only complaints of vertigo. After the presentations, Dr Uduman asked us questions which we supposed to know but we stumbled in answering it, and not properly confident with the answer even the answer was correct.

At that point of time, I felt like going to a place to hide, where nobody could find me, I felt so disappointed and I didn't know what to do. Yeah, we've learnt all of that, but we forgot. We always forget things we should remember. It's not that we don't know a thing, it's just that we don't remember. Prompting to answer without any level of confidence really disappoints me and I know it disappoints our lecturers too :(

From that moment on, I promise myself to work my tail off, study hard and try to revise back the things I've learnt. We've come across about those things previously, and by re-reading and studying won't so much difficult, as it will stay longer in our brain as yeah we've been exposed to that kinda topics.

I know it is our responsibilities to study hard and hard and hard and I know we really should be blamed for that incompetency and lack of skills. We should practise more and more.

I really want to be A MUSLIMAH, AWESOME, SMART, INTELLIGENT, ELEGANT FUTURE DOCTOR,  yes that is my aim and goal.

O' Allah please help me in achieving that aim, remind me if I lost and forget the things I shouldn't. ;)




Thursday, September 12, 2013

Falling in love

Salam everybody.

 Since we postpone to submit our case sheet medicine to Tuesday, I lavishly are blogging right now ,

yeah right now. Hehe. Actually I suppose to study for PBL but yeah take a break for a while.
Anyhow, just want to tell everybody that I am currently already falling in love with medicine.

I don't why but, it just makes me happy when I can come up to a diagnosis after examining the patient.

 It feels as if Malaysia is snowing!

Haha! Pelik kan :P Okay itu sahaja. Salam :)