"Real me"

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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hey Stalker!

I like you without reasons
I care for you without hoping for anything in return
I only look at you from far doesn't mean I am scared of truth
It is just I don't want them to know, I don't want them to judge me
I just want ONLY YOU to know that I am here for you
Come hell or high water, the feelings will never faded
It is uncontrollable, unchangeable as the seasons are changing
Remember the first thing you gave me, I kept it at one corner safely
I don't want to lose it, I don't want to spoil it
Trying to retain it for the rest of my life
Because I appreciate memories and pasts
Some pasts are easily forgotten but some stay in the hearts,
Like the one I created it with you.

People always remind me that, we don't know the future,yet it can't also be predicted,
But, they also say, we can build the strong base for the future,
We can cover it with beautiful and strong roof,
And place a nice floor on the land,
That's how the future starts.:)

Maybe one day we both grow old,
You may have grayish hair, I may have wrinkled unattractive lines over my face
I may stumble while walking, and you may take the steps forward with stick slowly
We may come to 60, 70, and maybe luckily 80,
But one thing I wish from the day I met you till the last day I may see you,
you still remember my name, and where I once stayed which is in your heart,
You still remember the loves, laughs and the cries we share together
And you still remember I have once( not once but thousand times) uttered to you, "you are special to me."


*I mean it. I really do*

Thursday, May 26, 2011


*Amaran keras: Hari nie post aku akan semuanya ditulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan, bahasa melayu terchenta.* Heeee~

Okay, macam ni, aku pun tak tahu kenapa dan sebab apakah tiba-tiba hari ni aku EMO gila. Aku ulang, aku EMO. Check check balik nak kata 'SPM' pun tak. Hadoi, ni mesti penangan Dr. Kunal Narad yang suka nak marah-marah bila kitorang tak ingat Anatomi. Logik la kan, dah dua tahun tinggal, macamana la nak ingat. =.=... Maaf, chekgu chomel. Hihi.

Mari fitri nak chechite chechite kenapakah fitri emo hari ni. Apa yang aku buat yang menyebabkan aku melabelkan diri aku sebagai emo? Adakah aku emo tak bertempat? Atau emo aku emo macho dan cool? Haha. Saspens tak? :) macam ni, tadi aku dail la nombor tepon mak terchenta yang duduk di kampung teroi, guar chempedak. Maka, aku dengar sayup-sayup suara wawa angkat. "Ya own, napa?" Kata wawa. Terkejut dengar suara dia, (sebab aku ingat dia kat rumah makcik aku lagi kat SP sebab dia nak pergi program 3 hari di hospital), aku pun bertanya: "Aikk? Dah habis ka program?" Maka, wawa pun menjawab ya. Dia pun tanya adakah aku nak cakap dengan mak. Aku cakap ya, dan sejurus selepas itu terdengar sayup-sayup suara mak dari jauh.. Mak tanya bila balik Malaysia? Aku  cakap lah tak taw lagi sebab ingat nak jalan-jalan Kashmir dulu. Pastu tetiba mak cakap, nanti wawa p, mak nak p manipal dengan aku n semua. Tetiba aku sedih. tah pape kan? Aku EMO. Aku cakap kat mak,

"Yela, bila wawa dapat sini baru mak nak datang tapi own kat sini mak tak datang-datang. :( Sedih sampai nangis. Pelik kan? hahaha. Mak cakap, "Sekarang mak susah, adik adik nak sekolah busy lagi, wawa nak masuk tempat baru lagi, banyak duit nak pakai. Nanti kita p sama-sama la tengok wawa. :)" Tapi aku ni degil. Aku pun cakap kat mak, "Takpela kalo mak tak mau datang. Tak kan nak paksa." Aku EMO. Skarang baru malu. Padahal small matter je kot. Emo macam tahi kucing. Oppss. Hihi. Tetiba mak bagi fon kat abah. Abah cakap napa? Lagi la aku sebak. Aku cakap takde pape. Takpela. Aku cakap kena hang-up aku nak pi solat. actually, tu alasan jer. then, lepas letak je telefon, ada orang lain call. Tersebak lagi kat orang lain. Sumpah segan. (T_T)..

Wawa gemuk :p

mak dengan abah:)

Sampai lah kemudiannya, aku jadi nyesal cakap macam tu. Aku rasa, kasarnya aku cakap camtu. Kenapa aku tak mengiyakan je apa mak abah cakap? Apa diorang cakap betul kot. Aku je emo. Mak, abah, own minta maaf. :( Sorry teremo tak bertempat. Sayang semua sangat-sangat. Rindu semua sangat-sangat. :(

Then, pada malam hari, aku ada basketball match. Macam biasa la main macam taik ayam kali ni. Haha. Main jela, try je sumbat. Kalo masuk rezeki, kalo tak de tak de la. Dah penat nak aim menang. :) Kalah pun tak pe, at least semangat tu ada..

adam n wawa. abah kat belakang.:)
ina busuk! ;)
aliff mata sepet. :D
Mungkin setakat ni sahaja entri kali ini. Maafkan saya andai awak terasa dengan emo emo saya, ya sapa-sapa pun awak. Saya ni manusia biasa, yang kadang kadang terkhilaf. truth is, I never meant to do that. XOXO, Fit. ;)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Salam all.:) I am here again. I will not talk much, just a few words about what has happened during these few days.

  • I have watched Fast 5. It was super superb I shall say. The stunt was great, unbelievable and I love it! ;) I like the main character, so called Dom. OMG, he was so freakingly undeniable hot!!! Burning hot! The way he talked, acted and smiled, ohhh, so sweet and cool. And the best female character goes to the lady who ride the bike, with long hair. She was also hot. :D.
  • I tried Ais Kacang or ABC which is made here in Manipal for the first time. Out of 5, I'll give 3 maybe. Not bad, but still cannot beat the one at Malaysia as always. :)
  • My groupmates including me, were scolded by Dr. Kunal Narad, from the department of Pediatrics. :( At first, I felt kind of sad and disappointing, but when I take it from the positive side, if he never scolded us, we never learn. Cool huh?;)
  • Again, we are busy with Supremo games. If you guys still remember, I've posted something about, I felt so not into sports anymore, but since too much supports I got and the left-over spirits, I decided to just continue playing. Thanks to the additional characters esp. the main one:)
  • I miss HOME. Yeah, I mean this. I suddenly miss mak, abah, ina, wawa, adam and aliff. ;( I supposed to call mak tonight because I have promised her, but since I  got netball practice, I TOTALLY forgot about it. Sorry, ma, I call you tomorrow k. :) Love you always. (^_^)
  • I fell down from the bicycle at T M A Pai Hospital. OMG, so embrassing. :( I didn't have pictures of me, on the ground where the bicycle was on my lap, but I've got the pictures before the incident happened. Ngeee~~~;)
That's all for now. Love you always. :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


I know I am not a good human being. I am not noble, not even great person. I am a common somebody who don't have anything to be proud of so far. I have a typical daily routine that I follow that have nothing to be satisfied about. Sometimes I talk about others behind, sometimes I say bad things, sometimes I am so not grateful of what I already have. I am me.

Even in studies, most of the time I sigh a lot, I comment about the hectic medical student life, I comment about the lecturers even I know I am not supposed to do so.:( My mom once said to me:
"Kak, cikgu ni pekerjaan paling mulia. Apa pun yang kadang-kadang depa buat, macam terpukul, termarah, tertinggi suara, depa buat untuk kebaikan anak-anak didik dia. Sebab depa ada mission. Nak semua students depa cemerlang dan jadi orang berguna masa depan." Those times, I didn't appreciate of all what she said. Even now, sometimes I do comment about lecturers, I get mad to the lecturers. Owh, how bad I am.:( And thankful to Him, I still have the thought that what I did was wrong. I have the thought that I want to change the part that I suppose to change about myself. I wish to not even sigh in studies when it comes to thousands of works to be done esp. in this medical field because I realise that life is still long. There are millions of obstacles are waiting along the journey. Life will never be the same. Later, I will get MBBS degree
( insyaALLAH) and that time, the responsibilities will be even more like hard time during work, etc.Hopefully, I don't treat the responsibilities as some kind of burden. Hopefully.

Then, in relationship, I shall say, I am not a perfect-noble-great woman in terms of qualities. I easily get jealous, tend to have bad thoughts when I keep thinking about futures and etc. Especially the jealousy part, I can't help it. I am so jealous even a little thing. I know, sometimes I have to be matured enough and be professional. But, yeah, things happen and we just can't help it.:(  maybe after this, I'll try my best to be as professional as I should be. =.=.  Maybe this time, tolerate and understanding between both is important. Don't worry, I will try my best.:)

All in all, I know maybe people may say back to me: Nobody is perfect, accept of who you are. I agree with that, but from some points I hope all my negative thoughts will revert to positive someday. All of these are for my own good and people around me. By the way, just so you know, I love you all and will always do. :)

yeah! :)

Salaam. :) Today, I played something that I never ever played before, something that is quite cool and sharp even precise to be scientific.:D. Presenting, the new talent that I've got( Should I stress the word talent? haha. Because, to be honest, I am still learning, not even reach the medium level. Pro memang tak la kan. hee.) which is the, POOL. Cool enough huh? :D Maybe pictures can tell how cool it is. :)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sayang cikgu selamanya.:)

Finally. After struggling for about 2 weeks, The Red Hawk won the battle. Should I say struggling? Because, as per counted, I only got two gold medals for Tug of War and Volleyball out of 5 games that I participated. To be real honest, at the very first place, I was kinda disappointed, why we couldn't make it, although we've tried very hard, trained almost every evening but, the victory is still not ours. :( Even sometimes, I have to thought to retire from playing in any of the games offered. But, as what I encountered and as what he told me, "Menang Kalah adat permainan, it is the spirit that matters, " then I started to realize that, I need the spirit more, not the winning. Congratulations NORTH for the good effort. You guys are rocks.! and to the southern team, don't worry. You guys were great too, especially the ATHLETICS part because just so you know, I am athleticophobia. Hahahah. B). I love the spirits that have been showed by both parties. Love it so much. Sometimes, I feel like crying in a smile, when I saw those spirits . :)

That is it. And now. just want to update. Just finished community medicine posting. and the end posting exam was over! After the exam ended, both F1 and F2 groups together with Dr. Sanjay had a cake, specially made by Ain. Yummy! So delicious. :D. We watched the slide show of the groups together. Actually, at first I was supposed to make the slide show, but then, I passed the job to Sundaraa, as he knew more than me, as I am still learning to use the Cyberlink Power Director thingy.:) What I did, was just providing the appropriate songs to Sundaraa. By the way, when it came to the song entitled "Graduation" by Vitamin C, the air was suddenly turned sad.:( yeah, F1 and F2 gotta separate for a while, since Paediatric and OBG postings are divided into those who go to Karkala and those who go to Udupi. Hey, F2, maybe we'll meet again during the Surgery posting which will be in one months and half time.:) Don't miss me much. :D

Owh, one more thing. HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to all my teachers from kindergarten, SKKP, SKT, SKHHD, SMKGC, MJSC LANGKAWI, KTT, AND MMMC. Thanks for the knowledge that you guys poured to me without bored. Happy teacher's day to mak too. I still remembered when I was 7, when I couldn't answer math questions, you used to pinch me, and compared me to the best student in class. I was so sad that time:( But, now when I think it back, I think I should thank you for doing that, as now, I am standing the way I am now. ( Even I know, there is so zero relation between math and medicine. hee. :)) You are the best teacher I've ever had. :)

And one last thing I want to tell, I've got new message tone! jeng jeng jeng. :D

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I love my memories. Do you? :)

Hello sunshine. ;) Meet again, here, nowhere but Cekelat. As time passes by, I've learnt too many things. From A to Z, then reverse from Z to A, then again M in between and back to G somehow. It is a learning process, and it is routine and a norm that we all have done even till today. Learning and memorizing things are two common terms that are so familiar in the world of medicine. Memorizing what you have learnt is a must. Understanding what you have been taught is a priority but then again when the exam is just around the corner, you tend to memorize things. I am talking about medical students to be specific. No one should deny it, cause we all do the same, now and then. Memorizing about drugs, pathologies and physiological changes in one's life are common things we do. But, have you ever wondered, about certain MEMORIES either sweet or the other way round, are they stucked in the head because we keep memorizing them, or they stuck in the head, because we can't control them and they stuck whenever they want? Do I make myself clear? Yeah. MEMORIES.

You don't invent the memories, they came and attached to our lives as time passed by. Easy, let me simplify for you guys. Let's say for example: One day, you gave one of your friend a gift. Not really special but the gift was something that she like the most. For you, maybe yeah it was just a gift, it didn't worth much, only costed about RS120, but you know how much it meant to your friend? It means something. It means everything. It is enough for your friend to write in the diary about her/his appreciation due to the gift you gave them. That is the MEMORY. Even they sometimes keep the wrapping papers till now. MEMORY mustn't always be so permanent, sometimes it fades with time. Memory may fades if the persons that involved in the memory were no longer exist or they purposely fades the memory away because sometimes they get hurt or they don't want to linger their lives to the past, it maybe goes that way. But, the real and unforgettable memory is the one that keep hanging on the walls of heart till your last breath. That MEMORY is the real one, undeniable, unshakable and enough to make you smile for the whole day if it strikes the heart all of a sudden. :)

I do have my memories too. Memories that are long lasting, unforgettable, sweet and irresistible. I bet all of you have one at least. Just want to let you guys know that, whatever the memories are, and whoever the memories related to, just APPRECIATE the memories that you have. Sometimes, they don't repeat. They are sweet and they tend to make you diabetic but, appreciate those memories. :) Even it is only a small thing that maybe you think as time passes by, you may erase that memory away. But, please don't. Please keep them in the heart.

Someday and some other fine days, you may sit somewhere with your loved one, reminiscing back the memories that you have instilled with him/ her together that were too sweet to be described in words. Appreciate each and every day you have, and store the memories in the heart, and don't let them buried deep in the oceans. (^_^)

And one more thing I learnt today, we are made in couples( Allah jadikan manusia ni berpasangan.). One has certain positives and certain negatives, and same goes to the other one. Both complete one another. You maybe good in A but I maybe even better in B than you. That makes life sweet and that creates the memories. * back to the main topic, memories.*:)

By the way, now I just realise I am in third year, and too many things have passed and some stay and some have gone. I appreciate those who stay and goodbye to those who leave, maybe there are certain hikmah in all of these. Maybe, it's the fate that make some stay and some leave. I love my life. Hope you do too. ;)

Shared Link.

 Salaam. I've got this story from someone in FB, just suddenly found it out. :) Read and think. For me, and for you out there.(^_^)

Dengan Nama Allah y Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih.

   Aku bukanlah orang yang baik. Itu satu benda y pasti. Tapi aku nak jadi baik. Itu satu benda y susah sekali. Ya, memang aku ada niat nak berubah. Itu langkah pertama aku untuk berubah. Tapi langkah kedua aku selalu tak menjadi. Langkah kedua ialah buat perubahan. Itu tersangat susah.

 Ada orang kata "senang je nak buat baik...". Ya..untuk orang-orang macam korang boleh la cakap macam tu sebab korang memang dah baik. Aku ni dalam suasana y susah untuk aku berubah.

 Selalunya jika kita ikhlas ingin berubah ke arah lebih baik kerana Allah SWT, Allah SWT akan memudahkan urusan kita kan? Haa..y tu betul! sangat betul! Sebab lepas je aku niat nak berubah tu, aku berjumpa dengan kawan lama aku kat FB ni. Bukan kawan lama tapi kawan sekolah y kitorang tak pernah bertegur sapa. Aku luahkan masalah aku kat dia. Dia layan aku sangat baik. Malangnya dia perempuan. KENAPA MALANG PLAK?? Sebab...kitorang xboleh rapat sangat...dia menjaga dirinya. Tapi seingat aku, bila aku chat dengan dia y aku nak berubah, dia balas...

"betulkan niat awak nak berubah tu kerana Allah ye..kemudian solatlah.."

Aku beritahu dia y aku xreti solat...xpernah solat...aku sedih bila nak berubah tapi ambil wudhuk pun aku xtahu..

Dia balas...
"So..mulalah belajar solat.. =) "

Simple giler ayat dia kan? Just suruh betulkan niat & solat. Boleh caya ke minah ni???

    Then, xlama selepas itu aku terbaca satu hadis Rasulullah SAW...

"Amirul Mukminin Abi Hafsh Umar bin Khattab ra berkata, Aku mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda,
sesungguhnya amal perbuatan itu disertai dengan niat & setiap orang mendapat balasan amal sesuai dengan niatnya. Barangsiapa yang berhijrah hanya kerana Allah & RasulNya, maka hijrahNya itu menuju Allah dan RasulNya. Barangsiapa hijrahnya kerana dunia yang ia harapkan atau kerana wanita yang ingin ia nikahi, maka hijrahnya itu menuju yang ia inginkan."

[Diriwayatkan oleh 2 orang ahli hadis : Abu Abdullah Muhammad bin Ismail bin Ibrahim bin Mughirah bin Bardizbah Al-Bukhari dan Abu Husain Mualim bin Al-Hajjaj bin Muslim Al-Qusyairy An-Naisaburi, di dalam kedua kitab tershahih si antara semua kitab hadis]

Patutlah si dia suruh aku betulkan niat. So, aku pun betulkan niat kerana Allah semata-mata. Aku pun sedar yang aku dah banyak sangat dosa. SANGAT BANYAK! aku takut aku mati dalam keadaan aku tengah buat dosa. Tak dapat aku bayangkan kalau aku mati sewaktu aku tengah berjudi, minum arak, atau pukul orang. Ya ALLAH, aku takut...

Tentang solat...aku tak tahu kenapa penting sangat solat ni...kan lebih baik kalau si dia suruh aku bersedekah ke, berzikir ke, baca Al-Quran ke..ni dia suruh aku solat plak..dah lah aku ni xtahu langsung tentang solat..huhu

Aku pernah dengar solat itu y membezakan orang Islam & kafir...fuh! biar betul..aku tak nak jadi orang kafir..nak jadi orang Islam..Ya Allah..bantulah aku..

Tetiba aku dapat inbox message kat FB ni..dari si dia...

Hadis Nabi...
Abu Abdurrahman Abdullah bin Umar bin Khattab ra. berkata, Aku pernah mendengar Rasulullah SAW bersabda,

[Hadis riwayat Bukhari & Muslim]

Patutlah solat itu penting..aku dah pun mengaku y Allah satu-satunya Tuhan & Nabi Muhammad itu pesuruh Allah SWT..seterusnya aku kenalah dirikan solat kan?

Sejak itu setiap kali aku chat dgn dia, dia mesti akan tanya "da mula belajar solat?"..aku pulak asyik jawab "belum lagi..susah la awak" dia akan balas "semoga awak diberi kekuatan sebelum terlambat.." dan selepas itu dia takkan balas pape mesej, chat, or komen dari aku.

Benda tu berlanjutan sehingga sebulan lamanya hingga tiba suatu hari y kitorang dah mula lost contact. Dia ada je online, tapi tak pernah tegur aku. Takpe lah..sekurang-kurangnya aku dapat baca post-post dia...ad satu Post status dia yang wat aku terkesan..

"Wahai manusia, jika kamu ditinggalkan oleh manusia y kamu kasihi, pasti kamu akan merintih..tapi jika Allah meninggalkan kamu, kamu tidak peduli..mengapa begitu? Sedarkah kamu bahawa jika Allah sudah membiarkan kamu, kamu hanya perlu menunggu dimasukkan ke neraka jahannamNya..tahu mengapa? kerana jika Allah meninggalkan mu, kamu akan terus dibiarkan dalam maksiat yang kamu lakukan. Hati kamu tidak akan terdetik lagi untuk bertaubat. Keadaan itu akan berlanjutan sehingga akhir hayatmu jika tiada usaha darimu untuk membuat perubahan..sesudah habis hayatmu di dunia, kamu akan dibangkitkan semula & pelbagai soalan akan ditanya kepadamu..tentang UMUR mu, HARTA mu..wallahu'alam~"

sangat takut! Sejak dari hari tu, aku berubah perlahan-lahan. Setiap kali keluar dengan kawan-kawan, aku dah mula hormati azan. Kawan-kawan aku tegur "perh..otai kite dah tobat r.."..aku mesti balas "wak lu..saje je nak diam..hehe" Ya Allah berilah aku kekuatan...selain tu, aku mula jaga cakap aku..tak mencarut sembarangan..aku mula layan you tube cara solat..aku beli buku cara belajar solat budak tadika sebab comel & aku pun tak pening nak baca panjang-panjang..hehe

Makin lama sedikit demi sedikit aku berubah... SERIUS aku cakap nak berubah BUKAN SENANG tapi kalau asyik bagi alasan, tu y rasa berubah tu macam payah sangat je..hehe

Alhamdulillah sekarang aku dapat rasa aku dijaga Allah..kalau aku di ajak ke PUB dengan kawan-kawan, aku elak untuk pergi, tapi kekadang pergi jugak sebab susah sangat nak elak. Tapi bila pergi tu, mesti aku balik awal..xlepak lama-lama dgn member aku. Aku g lepak kat tempat lain..lepak r kat mana-mana contohnya atas bukit tepi highway ke..macam jiwang kan?haha then tengok bulan, bintang..aku xperasan selama ni Allah dah bagi macam-macam nikmat kat aku..tapi aku sombong dengan Allah..aku buat macam-macam dosa..akan ada ketika aku teringat pesan si dia yang dah lama hilang dari hidup aku. Walau apa kita buat, betulkan niat & jaga solat. Terima kasih awak...semoga urusan awak dipermudahkan...

Selagi bergelar hamba Allah, semua orang berhak berubah! ;D

Secret Garden?

I lost the previous post. :(((((((

Who stole it? Tell me, tell me. :(((

By the way, I am currently following the Korean movies entitled Secret Garden.

I love the story line. I don't really like the hero, Hyun Bin nor the heroin, Ra Im. Hehe~

But, the story line is super cool. Yeah, I admit that some part of the movies are kinda lame, but yeah, it can be a great
Korean movies to be followed. 

Comel pulak lahaiii budak dua ketul ni dalam gambar ni. :)
Err, not to forget, end posting exam is just around the corner. Haha. Screw you commed! :D:D:D:D.

Takde kaitan. Saja nak letak. Impian saya: Nak ada secret garden sendiri dekat rumah saya nanti. Landskap pun okay. Heee~

Asian style landscape.:)   

This house may look dull and gloomy. but I love the green scenery around the house:)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pictures of you, pictures of me, pictures of us.

Days of pictures.:)

Ain and Fit. :) She's cute, I am not. haha

As the title says..

Doing data analysis about water source, and quality. I love commed if and only if bocin didn't take the class. ^^

Two cute birds I met yesterday at bird's shop when I accompanied syikin searching for her tortoises' home :)

They finally got closer with each other, when at the very first place, they looked shy. Haha!

Aww. ~ :D

Clindamycin 1%. Bye bye pimples. :)

Last but least, thanks for the idea of this background. :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Cekelat nak baju baru, ibu. :(

Hey there.:) Whaddup? Salaam. Anyway, I am about to change Cekelat's cloth, because yeahhh he is so fussy, bored about his lame old shirt? Is he commenting? Or I am the one who is commenting all the way? Haha. :) I guess, it is me. Yeah, it's me. I am kinda bored with that old chocolate picture, and guess I need new background. I browsed for so many pictures and finally it came with this. This may be temporary, because I asked for other's opinion too. This may look a little bit complicated to read, that's why I am still searching for the new background. It can be any type: NATURE, CARTOON, FOOD, OR anything, so on and so forth. Any idea? =.= *blank and blur*

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Princess Kissed The Frog!

The title: Fireflies
The singer: Owl City
Mood: Mood 'Kelip-kelip.. :) Sebab baru lepas tengok Princess and The Frog.

Nice movie. :) I've watched it once, and this was the second time. I guess you all know that I am so not okay with froggie, but truth was, I could watch this movie. :D Not bad, huh? :P.. Not much to say about the movie, but I would recommend you guys to watch it if you still haven't. I dedicate this song to you, Kelip-kelip. :) Hopefully, you are happy with your Evangeline. Awww so sweet. ;))))  *Don't be scared of dreaming high, because, everything is possible.*

Here are the lyrics::

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)

Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

Friday, May 6, 2011


I miss home. I suddenly do. I miss everything about home. The living room. The kitchen. The rooms. The garage. The dining room. The tok's house. I miss the people, too. I miss mak. I miss abah. I miss ina. I miss wawa. I miss Adam. I miss Aliff. I miss tok, tokwan and Ecah too.:( I miss talking to them, laughing and giggling together. The laughter of Ecah caught my attention. ( Attention: Ecah is my smallest dearest cousing.;p)

Actually, to be real honest, my heart is breaking, literally. I am tired of keeping the spirits up high but, truth is I never earn anything. I tried, tried and kept trying, but nothing was there by my side. I lost. I lost. I lost. Very rarely I heard myself screaming, "Finally, I win!!" So UNUSUAL. Is it I am the one who should be blamed? Or is it just a test to see how far you can still stand even when something comes up in between and shakes your heart and strength? I have friends. They told be to be strong and don't give up. I have kelip-kelip to keep reminding me that in games, there will be winners and losers. I just have to try my best to achieve the best. But, now, still I am so broken. Maybe, too high expectations aren't good. It makes you feel so down.

Enough of speaking about this. I gotta be strong and try to face the reality. Sometimes, reality hurts but you gotta get used to it. Kuat Nurul Fitrilina, Kuat!! ;))))))))))))))))

Thursday, May 5, 2011


Hey there. Just came back from home, after a tiring day, discussing about tomorrow's presentations and completing the log book. It's been a while since the log book is CLEAN without any writings. I am so sorry, I am just so lazy to complete them all. You know what, just now I just browsed through my facebook's notes then I suddenly found a post. It was about 25 random things about myself. Somebody tagged me at that time, and I was so hardworking at that instance to complete the tagging. I read the 25 things back again, and somehow, most of them are actually true till today. Most of them.:) Have a look, and do comment and compare. :D

1)ppl called me f3.family call me nurul.few ppl call me lina.n one or two call me lin.:)
2)i'm d eldest in my fmily but i dont look like a big sista.my sis is more matured than me.ppl say that.i admit dat.
3)cry even it's a small matter..x bley nk ubah.
4)I love to smile.it gives me confidence.
senyum jum! :)

5)hard to make proper decision.when it comes to serious rltionshp.( but now things have changed. :) I know what I want~ :D)
sapa tak suka choc angkat hidung tinggi tinggi! 

7)love to dream.kind of day dreaming.success start wit dreaming ayte.hee
8)wish to go to Paris one day.ieffel tower.=p           
Maybe I'll reach there. With you. Yeah you:)

9)suka tidoq jugk.haha
10)x fussy pasal mknn.mkn je apa org bg.slagi perut bole trima n halal.
11)Sgt suka dpt kwn bru.=)
12)sensitif tp cepat ok blik
13)suka create poem tp sndri baca je.:) tp suka baca poem org

Poem. :)

14)penah blakon jd queen.igt smpai skarang.;p.
15)alwez lost when it comes to chess match wit ma sistas.they r superb.
I'm so not good in chess compared to them.:P

16)suka cerita semua kat mak.most of d time.

17)tringin nak blaja guitar n org dedicatedkan lgu to me.
Play me a song. I want you, only you. :)

18)suka perasan comel.kwn2 terdekat dah lali.ahaha
19)shopaholic when it comes to shoes.
Syurga kasut. Haha
20)pernah blaja aikido.tp da x igt sgt.hehe.
21)kelam kabut.tp slalu suruh org chill.=D
22)suka lelaki tinggi.smart.cool.(rasa selamat bila jln sblh dy.haha)
23)paling suka lagu BETTER IN TIME smpai sekarang.
24)used to hv crush on my own teacher.masa form 2.x taw apa cerita dye skarang.;p
25)sgt bersemgt bila ada org boost me up. x kesah la sapa.sapa2 pn bole.mmg akan berkesan.:)

 Well, it looks so funny when you read this. But, just bear in mind that most of them are facts. Haha. 
Anyway, here is one song that I keep listening just now. 

Title: We'll Be A Dream
By: We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato
Mood: Dreamland maybe?:P


Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours at anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out, we'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being someone big
We're so young then
We were too crazy in love

When the lights go out, we'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Woah, woah, woah...
Woah, woah, oh...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

two people with two different qualites.

Hey salaam.:)

Now I am thinking to talk about one topic, not much, just ONE. About people who love to matter about others' own businesses but neglect about theirs. They pretend to be just so good in front others but, actually, they are the thorns in the beautiful flowers. Pity them, huh? I am not pointing to anybody, I'm just saying this in general. I know, sometimes, I did the same as these people did, talked something behind, but at least, I kept this between me and friends, not involving others. One more thing about these people, they are acting too way good, pretending that they are soooo innocent but truth is they don't. Maybe they may look proper, sweet or decent, innocent, but at the other sides of it, if one is about to reveal, they've got qualities contradict to the listed qualities before. That is one type of person.

The other one type of person is, the one that pretend to be somebody else, but actually they are someone else. You got it, don't you? Okay, to make things simpler, I give you example: You've been asked by your friends to do something that you are not so okay with it like bunk the class together, but because you are the one who like to pretend to be somebody else, you don't matter to bunk class with your friends. Why don't you tell your friends that you are not okay in bunking the class, and you will not skip the class? Is it too hard to admit? Just SAY IT OUT LOUD. You are trying as if you want to take care of the friendship, you are willing to do something you are not okay with it at the very first place. It is so not good.

Last but not least, come into the picture about me back again. hee. I suddenly miss reading novels. :( Rindu sangat nak baca, and been thinking about new novels lately. Anybody got one that is nice, name it to me.:) Thanks guys. ^^

Monday, May 2, 2011


Hye. Just came back from morning Community Medicine posting. :)

Today, we've made a visit to a rural area, in the objective to take a data analysis regarding the water source of particular houses to make some sorts of statistics. So, basically the main point is about WATER. How the people get the water? Do the water is very clean and hygiene or the other way round. Anyway, we have been divided into two group. One group must join Dr. Kiran while the other joined one other Dr. Kiran's friend ( I don't know the name. heee) I joined Dr. Kiran group. Well, to be specifically said, all the members in Dr. Kiran's group were all FEMALES! Haha. So, I guess you can expect how hot is he. Weee~ But Vidya said, he's married already. Awwww. :( Heee~ Since he will be leaving Manipal very soon, we should use the opportunity that we have to spend the maximum time with him. Lol.

After the group division, we headed to a house, not far from where the bus parked. It was a brick-built house, owned by a man with his family. The man is a farmer. We asked each and every details about the demographic data particularly about the occupation, details about the children, the earnings and about the water sources. Basically, this family got the water sources from thr well which is around 5 feets from the house. But, sadly, there were also cow's dung near the well. So, I guess you could imagine how contaminated the water is. -.-..

But, just so you know, his children educations are very good. His son is a doctor now, working in the government hospital, while his daughter is a nurse-to-be, still studying. That's so impressing. :)

That is for morning's posting. But, now I've got things to babble. About something we called passive in term. Passive. Too broad meaning to discuss in details. Why I pick up this word is because of certain reasons. About how people can adapt with studying all the times, without spending even a 5 minute break to play games or do something that they like? How can they manage that? =.= I'm so curious to know. If I were to study, a maximun time that I can concentrate is about 10 minutes. That's it. Then I'll do something else to get back the mood to study. But, they don't. They keep on studying and keep on cracking their minds. Please, people, be active a little. Not for others' sakes but for y'all. ( Actually, I am so disappointed to some people, I mean certain Batches in MMMC who don't tolerate much about others. What they think all these times are study study and study. They refuse to participate to any games, join any events and prefer to be called as passive. come on people, be flexible. We live only once. Please appreciate it. :")


Hye. Sorry I am quite busy these days. Too many things to be settled. By the way, just so you know, we are in the middle of the NORTH-SOUTH GAME fever. Hee. :) And proudly I would like to announce that I am from the NORTH team. I love games. Hee. Penat la nak type lagi. Nanti ada mood gua type lagi. Hee. Salam. Gudnyte. ;))))))