"Real me"

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

ALF 13

Salam I bid to everybody. I just came back from eating outside with my friends, actually it was supposed to be group night out but since everybody suddenly cancelled last minute, only four of us (all girls) went having our dinner outside. Anyway, the reason I am going to write today because I want to express what I've been feeling lately.

Last weekend was one of the greatest weekend I have ever had. :) And I don't have to explain much am I? :)
Spending two days with you, and together with my siblings gave me such a great feeling and I was so happy. ;) And that was the first weekend ever, I had a special date with you. Special on our special kind of way. And lots of things we've been talking and discussed like matured adults. :) yes we are, as we are turning 24 already. (by the way, you are 24 already :P). We discussed about our future, you talked, I listened, and when I talked you listened patiently. We had our plan, and so much plans ahead, and may Allah ease our way and may the plans will end with success.

One of my wish since I knew you and since I was attracted to you. I want to be your legal wife. I want to be the mother of your children. I want to be the person you share your joys, sadness and the person you are happy with till the end of your life. And Alhamdulillah we are turning into it. I hope whatever decision after this raya, is the best for us, and I hope Allah ease our way, and I am ready for it and I hope you too ;)

And for the first time, I feel so happy with this decision, only He knows how much smiles I have in this heart, if you may know. And for that, being someone's else wife isn't easy. It's too much responsibilities I have to bear and I have to take care of my husband's well being and I have to pour enough love to him. By that, I mean, I have to improve so many things in life, in doing household chores as I knew I might be busy after this being as a doctor. For whatever reason, I should put that aside, and I still have to take care of him, my husband. And for that, I should improve everything within this four months (insyaAllah if Allah's will).

  • I should learn to cook well (you always said I didn't know much about cooking;p) because I don't want my husband to be so skinny after the marriage hehe, 
  • I'm gonna have to change my sleep pattern. Wake up early and make a proper breakfast. (as for me and you as I too need this proper breakfast to prevent recurrence of hypotension as what has happened today).;p. 
  • I'm gonna take care of his heart, trying to limit my daily or weekly merajuk, and only merajuk for special occasions. (eh bleh plak cmni kan hahahah, and if you read this, I AM SURE you gonna tell me this over and over again hahah)
  • Save my money for good things :)
  • Last but not least, the MOST IMPORTANT one, is to improve myself, for a better muslimah insyaAllah. I knew I lack a lot of things about this, I have so many weakness, but as Ramadhan is getting nearer and nearer, I want to improve my salah, my ibadah and Allah, please ease my way please :") I want to be a good wife and good muslimah too . :)
And that is for now. Gonna write later if I have the extra things to be done, but forget to tell you. Please pray for me and him , and may Allah ease our way for good deed. Amin.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Bye bye PCM, you will be missed, especially KK Merlimau

Done with family medicine posting. Next would be Accident & Emergency posting.
Time flies so fast. :) And by the way here are some pictures in A&E posting :)

Oh and forgot to mention, we've done our common programme. here are some pictures. ;) they like our video :*

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I'm blogging when I am busy

I blog when I have piles of things to be done. Yeah that's just me. Hehe, even I don't know why can't I blog when I have free time. Maybe because I prefer to waste my time doing something else when I am in leisure rather than writing :D. And well, hello. It's been a while, can I say? I am about to wrap up my PCM posting. Two more days then I am done. PCM in KK Merlimau is just pretty awesome I must say. Because good doctor, explaining every single things to the blur us, and the nice medical assistant (MA) and nurses keep teaching us about the procedures like how to set iv line, how to do intramuscular injection to patient, how to withdraw blood, and how to nebulize a patient come with ronchi and complains of breathlessness. Alhamdulillah I learnt a lot. and I hope I can practise this when I have become a doctor one day later. The EOP is on Friday morning. Please pray for me. I am not sure I have time to do proper studying as I have lots of articles (only eight actually but for a lazy me, it's considered as a lot ;p) to read and summarize. Never mind, I will try my best to do it.

Currently, I have kind of things lingering in my mind. Not yet to reveal, I will reveal when time permits. Please pray for the best for both of us. Please please please. Amin. :")

And as for today, alhamdulillah we have completed our common programme presentation and again alhamdulillah everybody seemed to enjoy our common programme, particularly regarding the video made by us. Hehe, I am one of the actress heheh :D. please have a look gahahaaha perasan! :)


And well again, I have to stop. I will blog when I really have leisure time. Till then, assalamualaikum :)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Pernah tak rasa hati korang rabak koyak and kena pijak- pijak and nobody gives a damn? Itulah apa aku rasa sekarang. Sakit. Sangat sangat. 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Our story maybe?

"Will you tell me how much that costs?" I asked him, hoping that he would tell me the truth. He looked at me, drew a smile on his face. :)
"Well dear, the cost doesn't matter. :) Keep it till the rest of your life."
And I wondered a bit, what the hell wrong with him, giving me those things which I guessed would be very very very expensive. A simple, yet beautiful ring ever, written two letter on top of the ring. I stared on the ring few times. And finally, I took and wore it. Nice. ;)

Many years have passed. We grew old. So do our handsome sons and cute daughters. ( Well, I guess they inherit those beauty from me. ahahahah.) He got thousands of wrinkles on his face, but still, he is the most adorable man on Earth for me. I grew old too. I was not attractive like before, I've got black circles surrounding my eyes, the hairs turned grey, and there were lines of dullness throughout my cheeks. You don't have to wear specs to see those, you could clearly see by your naked eyes. But, what impressed and touched me the most, he kept telling me, " My Lady, you are beautiful just the way you are. And I will always love you." He wasn't that romantic before, but when we got older, he turned into a new romantic fella. Geez. It scared me.:"). And dear love, just so you know, I love you too, although your beard doesn't look charming anymore. =p. i love you till the end of my life, now and forever.:)

The routine went well everyday. From the first day of our marriage 50 years ago. We woke up, having breakfast together, usually bread and butter cause we didn't eat much early morning. I get used to his habit. :)
After that, we changed and exercised a little. Err, most of the time, we jogged around the nearest park. I HATE jogging but, because of him, I followed and truth was, if I were unable to jog, I felt something different in me. Well, this was his influence. Cause once upon a time, he used to say this to me." You are fat. Even fatter than a rhino. You have to exercise. " Urghhhh, he was totally getting into my nerves. But, I knew he never meant to say that to me. :) As time passed by, listening to that sentence everyday was a routine, too. So I didn't mind much. :P

After jogging around the park, we used to sit on one of the benches and watched the lake. You know what, there were hundreds of frogs in the lake cause I could hear the sounds. The FROG. One of the animals that I hated the most, once upon a time. But, again, because of him, I didn't know how, eventually, I could touch the frog using my bare hand. Crazy. He changed my life a lot. :) And there were absolutely no problem at all if I've got to watch The Princess and The Frog at this instance. Thanks to him:)

To reminisce back the past, most of my friends knew that I LOVE EIFFEL TOWER like so much. :) And the sweet thing was, I finally reached there. With no one else, but him, appreciating the town of love with him. Together. And that time, we left our twin children ( they were 2 that time) to my parents. That was the best thing I've ever had.:")

And now, we both are already 75. We've got five children and six grandchildren. Millions of memories are there, between me and him. Hey world, I will always love him till the rest of my life. :) we share everything: happiness, sorrow, joy and tears. And just so you know, appreciate your loved one when you have the chance.:) Don't ever regret it letter.

P/s: This is only a story. No relation to the life of the author. But I hope for the beautiful story like this once. So do you, right? :)

Doctor :)

Being trapped in a place called destine,
The little steps that curved on the muddy road
It sticks but yet no turning back to a finer one
It's not a halfway journey it's more than it
Maybe about a little step more then we reach the peak
My mind suddenly thinks about how I got here
With childhood ambition and awesome support that preceeded
And those times when I was confused
Either here or there, either this or that,
The decision was tough, yet undescribable fate across it
and along with it, tears of joy and confusion followed
They were there, they wiped the tears that shed, and they never go
And yes, here I am upon all the obstacles that have been filtered
One phase ended, and the other phase continues
It's hard, yes it is, with no second thought or doubt
To face the screams, shouts they gave when I was on the wrong path
To stay wide awake learning new terms and knowledge from a zillion words in the book
To practise touching with care and examining the unfortunate one to heal them 
To decide what should I do to treat them well
And yes, it is my duty, our duty and responsibility,
as we took the oath in sincerity and modesty
To correct what's wrong any means possible 
To relieve what's hurt the most
But, the power of healing of all is to the Almighty we shall seek
Above all. 
Less than a year, I may hold big and grand responsibility 
And to those who afford to face it shall face it
And may He guide our way, and ease us, 
To continue this good deed, till the last breath of ours. 
And yes, this is a story of a doctor, insyaAllah :)s

Friday, June 7, 2013


It is raining outside. Very heavily like cats and dogs. So do my heart. Why? Lemmi keep it in my heart. Everytime I think about it, I waste a drop of my tears. Not a drop, but actually, a bit more I shall say.

Terlalu banyak ujian untuk aku mungkin dari aku kecil hingga besar. Satu demi satu. Mungkin sebenarnya dugaan aku tak sebesar dugaan orang lain yang lagi teruk dari aku. Dugaan aku cuma dugaan hati, dugaan insan lain mungkin tentang benda yang lagi memilukan, seperti kehilangan orang tersayang. Sungguh, aku yakin dugaan ini sangatlah kecil, belum boleh lagi sebenarnya aku gelarkan sebagai dugaan . Cumanya pada aku ia masih dipanggil dugaan.

Dugaan aku mungkin berbeza dari dahulu hingga kini, dugaan yang sungguh berbeza. Tiap kali aku mengenangkan dugaan aku, titis air mata menitik lagi. Ya Allah, bila semua ini akan berakhir? Aku sangat terluka, tapi aku tak mampu untuk luahkan pada sesiapa. Biar aku simpan ketat dalam hati. =( Biar hanya Engkau yang tahu :(

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Internal Medicine. PCM is not paracetamol by the way.

As- salam.

Yes, I knew, I got something to tell. During the last weekend I went back home. Yes, back home means Kedah of course. I knew it was just a short short weekend but I couldn't help it, I miss them so much. Alhamdullilah terlepas rindu dah :) walaupun x smpt jumpa najwa. She went back to Intec a bit early as she was still in exam mode, final exam for A level before she will be flying to Yindia. I mean Manipal, the place that holds a lot of memories , as for me and for my other friends too :")

Being back in Malacca means I am now entering a new posting which is Internal Medicine (PCM- Primary health care). I have been in the posting for 2 days already in KK Merlimau. What can I say so far. I kinda like this posting. Because later when I am going to be MO, I'm thinking about specialising in intenal medicine, since my job hours are like office hours. I am a lazy type person hehehe, so being from 8am to 5pm is kinda good things for me, plus, this posting really about a tiny bits of here and there, which means that, it comprises all of other subjects too. :) And this is really suitable for me, because I am a person who easily forgets about things that I am not focused on. Like for example if I specialise in Paediatrics, I will forget everything about orthopaedic, that's my bad and worse side of me. So being in internal medicine, actually, I will and should know about all the subjects which is good for me. and plus point is that, I will have extra time with my family. =) *cewahh dah berangan seyhhhh leklu* InsyaAllah, this will be one of my choice later :)

I hope that I can learn a lot of things in this posting, and can do the procedures and be good with that, so it will make my life easier later as a HO. InsyaAllah :)