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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Keep Calm. 2013.

Assalamualaikum everybody. We meet again. It's 2013, believe it or not. A year of many many things which may await in front. A year of P2S1 (less than 60 days left), A year of me becoming 24 years old. Old enough to make a very big decision myself, old enough to be mature, old enough to stop crying over little things. As the day passes, my heart is beating fast, and getting louder and I
noticed that just today. Not 'louder' as if I've got some kinds of murmur or what, but it is getting 'louder' literally. When speaking about 2013, I am getting nervous. I guess all because of the pressure of P2S1, a very important exam which may allow us to reach 5th year. I knew, my knowledge is still poor, still a lot more to be improved, but thinking about that, I get carried away, and try to avoid all of that. Actually, I SHOULD NOT HAVE that kind of thought. I should stop and sit and start studying. T_T. Ya Allah ,this exam is really important to me, and my friends. All depends on fate, and luck. And of course, the hard work. I really need to be calm, start studying and finish this off. It's so tiring to be in a medical school, thinking that, most of my friends, or high-school mates have graduated and even now, have started working and build a family of theirs.

I am still here, struggling and praying I can pass the exam with flying colours, and able to continue to the next level. I didn't know why, just now, during walking towards the bus in Muar Hospital, I had this one thought. Why at the very first place, I didn't choose a teacher/ lecturer as my career? I knew I have the talent to teach ( I think so la), and I can teach very well, and able to make people understand. But, I ended up in medical school. Yes, I agree that when I was in school, my ambition was to be a doctor, but now, thinking that, I didn't actually have the talents, and thinking that my life would be so busy after this, it made me have the thought, why I didn't choose to be a doctor.

But, then again, the other thought came and strike my heart. Allah s.w.t has planned everything very nice. Maybe HE has planned that one day, I can be a very good and dedicated doctor, trying to save lives of the helpless human beings, or maybe trying to use a profession of doctor as a medium for dakwah. Allah knows best. HE is the greatest.

So, to you, Nurul Fitrilina Mustapa, please have the thought in mind that you're so lucky to be in this field, you can get pahala for free everyday later, during your work as a doctor, since you will be curing people, or if not cure, at least provide comfort to them. Again, keep praying and praying. Allah knows best. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR. :) Refresh the niat, keep struggling to be a better Muslimah insyaAllah :)

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