The crowds.

I walked and walked over the crowds, they were chit chatting, bargaining to buy something they like, but deep down myself, I was not actually there. My mind was like floating, not touching d real ground... You knew, some good news are real good, yes, there are, but underlying it, we need to face the reality that hurts. That's a good news for me, so happy tite see her excited voice, to feel her enjoyment.. Even it hurts me, thinking that what my future would be, when will it comes to reality,  will that even happen? That kinda bleed my heart. :"). But, Ya Allah, redhakanlah hati ini. Mungkin ini yang terbaik, mungkin ini yang telah ditetapkan.:).
I wish I could share this exploding feeling in my heart with someone, but it seems that nobody even cares to know, cares to ask. Maybe they have the thought that I'm being to secretive perhaps. But actually that is not right. I wish somebody could be here, at this moment, being with me, to face that day later, not alone keeping everything just in my heart... I don't know how to stop these tears from falling.. It just drops... It's okay Fitrilina, this has been arranged lovingly by Him. Face that day with an open heart, happy for your sister, even nobody is there to share during that moment. Don't drop the tears becuase you feel sad, instead let it flow for the happiness in your family.. InsyaAllah I will try even it's hard and even that means you should be alone during that happening day.. :")