When there was one time when they asked me whether I was okay or not what could I say anymore? I replied back, YES, I'm okay. But, that were all lies. I had to lie, I masked myself by all of these. To be honest and take everything for what has happened to me never made things returned to the way it was. Things happened and that's it. You can't spin the time back to the past, you can't pretend that things went well, you can't shut up and forget everything, and oh, maybe you can for the last fact but it really needs time, right? For how long? A week? A month? or a year? I wonder. I may hide my mixed-up feelings, I may remain silent, but can I stand all of these all alone? It ended for so long ago. But, it kept haunted me. I question and I wonder why. I wish to diminish the mixed feeling away but I don't have the strength. I'm not that kind of person that can simply let go off thing for a week or a month. It really takes ages! T.T.
"It is over. Leave it."
"Get rid of it. Write a new diary."
"It's the time for the start of something new."
"Something happens for a reason."
Hmm, be cool. Love that anyway. Be cool and pretend as if u are the happiest person in the world. To talk is simple, but to reach it is just too hard and undecided. Some people say to me, people may come and go in your life. Be ready with it. Experience lies behind it. I nodded but then now I should think twice before nodding so long before. I don't agree. Then, one fact is clear if the above statement is true. Hey, come, come, then you may leave. No mark will be left here! Huh. Easy. But, it's not! It does hurt. And.... Really hurts. By the way, we are humans, we are not dogs that keep running here and there without even a slight care to others around. I use dogs. Sorry for that. Can't think of other animal.
Get back to the topic. Let's be clear. Maybe, I can't forget the things that have already happened. But, there is the rule of karma right? People did bad, and they will get something bad , somewhere and someday. I'm not praying for their destruction or what, this karma thing is to let them regret of what they did. Never leave mark on the people simply like that and go hiding somewhere without any trace, or don't talk sweets sometimes like you are the greatest prince or princess. Cause, somehow, your words might hurt others someday when you wish to disappear and keep things hanging.
And for this moment, only one thing I can think of. HIM. He's the one, up there. HE always listen to your prayers. Pray something good, something that will relieve you somehow even a little but at least you have the improvement right? Be strong and keep standing on your feet. Remember one simple thing. Someday, somehow, there will be people who come to your life unexpectedly or without intention and will make you happy and wash out all the bursts for the rest of your life.
WE NEVER REALLY KNOW, RIGHT? :)
This message is for my little sister, Ina who's having her hard time now.=D
Dear, keep smiling and be cool. Live your life to the fullest. Things might happened but not as what we expected but these will strengthen you. Keep praying to HIM. Just remember whatever happened was just like the deep ocean where you have to cross to reach the other side of sea. :D. Cool huh? Remember what I keep telling you before. Someday, the bright will come together with the greatest prince ever, right?:) And by the way, there is no harm in dreaming. Lalalalalala~. P/s, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! :)
And to all, thanks for reading. Suddenly I feel like writing. Good night. Sweet dream will never be! :p