Baby?

It seems that this ground floor will be filled up by new juniors. Yeah, tak la sunyi sangat time weekend kan. Hee:) What I mean by junior, is yeah our junior, Batch 25, they are actually the same batch as us, but, the are in the different batch. Welcome to the house of MMMC. Just come here, and feel it by yourselves. Don't trust everything seniors said, because sometimes they just overrated. :p.

By the way, today, it didn't seem smooth like yesterday. Quite disappointed with myself actually, because I expected I could become at least better than yesterday already:( Never mind, I just try for the best. T_T

I watched HOUSE again today. Yeah, kinda my routine these days, all because of Lina's fault for giving me the series, up to seventh season. Hihi, sorry Lina, it is actually my fault for finding you up to 4th floor just to get the series. :). Every episode seems to give me a lot of lesson, maybe, and for the episode 13 season 5 today, it was about how a busy doctor, a administrator of Princeton Hospital managed herself with busy life and her adopted small little baby at the same time. It is actually quite difficult, it needs a lot of patience and courage to bear through all those difficulties, messed life, and smelly house because the baby will keep on pooping. If you know what I mean. ;) Pampers here and there, crying is child's best friend, and plus, you gonna have to wake up early in the morning if in case the baby cries all of a sudden and you just have to prepare for the baby's milk. Sounds horrible and messy right? But, that's how I am going to face later in life. Because I know, being a doctor isn't like any other profession in which you have plenty of times with your family, lots of holidays to spend together, just list all the places you wish to go and furthermore, doctor doesn't work like an office hour, and if it does, you have to work the whole office hours plus the additional hours( additional hours here mean on-call). Ohhh, just have to prepare my mind, mentally and physically to accept this fact of torturing life which I'm surely gonna face.

But hey, who said that it is so bad? Who said that being doctor is too bad? You don't have time with your family? Yeah maybe that's definitely true, but in a positive side to think about it is that, the less hour you spend with your family, the more you gonna miss your family much, and it strengthens the relationship you know. Because some say that, if you are in a distance away from your loved ones( distance here can be in time, in kilometres and whatsoever that comes in your mind at this time), your love gonna get bloomed and it gives you the chance to miss them, doesn't it seem cute and sweet? :) *I'm actually trying to convince myself here, okay, ;p*

But, just come hell or high water, just come the torturing life or annoying cries of the babies, I wouldn't mind, because I know when I am in that position myself, having to take care of my husband and my babies, things will gonna change. Having babies and family is just a wonderful thing in life, yeah I know I do not experience it myself yet, but I have had the examples from my root family: my abah, mak and sisters with brothers. It's actually pretty sweet and cool you know, when the gathering time comes after so long everyone had busy life before, that gathering time is the time in which you know that, you love them a lot and you will appreciate the time a lot. :)

So, to my future hubby, just don't worry. We will try to make it as best as we can okay, just have faith in each other. Maybe, life will be a little bit tougher at the beginning, but we just have to cross the hurdles, and just remember good things that awaits us in future. insyaAllah, we have faith in Him too, Amin:)

The Hunger Games!

Salam. The time is still tick- tocking. Yeah, it is 3.41p.m in the afternoon. I can't undo, redo nor forward the time. It continues and never gonna stop. And now, I think time is so precious, like so so so precious. Even now, if you realize, the time pass by so fast, I really mean it, because I've experienced it. A 24-hours seems so long, but when you are actually counting the hours, and just do your routine like always, you will find out that, the time seems to cut- shorten from morning till the night before you go to sleep, but it is actually, tick tock like always. So, think back about what you have done at the very end of the day, whether it is useful or not the way you've spent your time:)..

P2S1 results have come out. I'm gonna sit the exam in another one year. The results made me tachycardic for a while, tachycardic for the seniors. Most of them have passed, some have failed and quite a number has to sit for the exam in another one month or we called it as supplementaries. So so so scared. It is all about luck, patient, doctor and what case you get. Hopefully, when my time comes, everything goes well smoothly. I hope and I pray. T_T

Anyway, last night, I went to Jusco Aeon, Melaka with my other two friends, Mira and Mun to watch movie, actually we didn't have a specific movie to watch, we just gambled, randomly picked the movie. It was 'The Hunger Game'.

 It was was was superb superb superb movie ever. :) And we kinda excited because actually, the movie didn't turn out to be loser, since it was randomly chosen. :p. Thanks to them, and it was a joyable night after a tiring day during the weekdays. ( Actually, not really tiring for me since I am in the community medicine posting, but a bit tiringfor them.;p).. Plus, the main actress of the movie, Jennifer Lawrence was so hot in the movie! :))) Love her eyes. She looked so handsome in the attire during the game. :D

Overall rating I would give is, 4/5 because in life, nothing is perfect. Wow. So pathetic. Hihi. :p.

Last but not least, regarding my driving class today, I noticed some improvements compared to the last week I went. Alhamdulillah, I hope that it gets better day by day, even tomorrow I do have the class at 1130 in the morning. I was a little bit nervous when going up the hill, but I want to improve tomorrow. Semangat3!! :)

wishes left as wishes.

At the end of the day, when it is said to be midnight, is the only time I've got the chance to talk to you. Very very late. Up to 1200am in the morning, can extend more than that. That's the moment I've waited for the whole day everyday. I even started to count till I reach that moment. I was super- joy super excited. But, when the time comes, it isn't as expected. I wish you to tell me the whole day stories, but you don't. To ask you about your stories, is too mean, you might be tired to tell me the stories, I should have known that. And now it is already 1.04am. Midnight already and you have gone to sleep. my eyes still wide opened, hoping you would be there, laughing and telling me the stories, even a small bit of simple stories I don't mind to listen because I love you. I really do. And now, I am alone, wishes just left as wishes. Good night, world. :)

I Won't Give Up- Jason Mraz.

"I Won't Give Up"

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Wordless Wednesday 2

Flowers.

The Path.

missing a lot of things.

salam. berjumpa lagi. truth is I miss taking so much photos. I miss a lot of things. I miss playing sports, I miss to lepak-lepak with my friends somewhere spending time together, and the epic is, I miss INDIA, yessss I miss India! :).. I miss everything about India including:

• I miss to play basketball at Sharada court.
• I miss to jog at Endpoint or Anath Nagar.
• I miss to play badminton at MARENA.
• I miss to drink fruit juices especially Chiku after playing basketball.
• I miss to scoot around with my beloved Maya, life was so easy when I had scooter back then, even I didn't have license.
• I miss Nandini, because so much memories there.
• I miss Papa Raju's cook( my cooker there)
• I miss MAHE library, no doubt.

Yeah, banyak kan, benda yang saya rindu tentang India. Life is like this, when you were there, you didn't appreciate the place, you took it for granted, but when you are now studying somewhere else, even at your own homeplace, you miss the place in which once before, you hated it so much. :'(

Anyway, it happens again. On and off thing. Haiihh, it hurts my eyes a lot seeing it. Geram + sedih. :(.

Goodbye for now. Goodbye. Goodbye.

:(

If others scold me, if others talk harsh to me, if others don't entertain me like they always do, I really don't mind and don't give a damn about it, just do what you guys wish.

But, if it is all about you, listening to the different voices of yours, you don't entertain me like you used to do, if you don't crack the jokes like you used to tell me, I am totally broken apart, teared apart. My eyes suddenly filled with tears, and heart felt like crashing like the crashing waves on the beach. I didn't plan this, it just happened, I didn't want to take this seriously, but it just did.

I know, somehow, I just have to understand, busy life is the routine of our lives afterwards, you with your days, and mine with my days, maybe we don't even have the chance to talk every day. At the very end of the day, you are tired, maybe I will get tired too. Then, that time, I have to tolerate to the tiredness that you may portray without purpose, I should have understood about that. Bersabar lah..

Then, coming to the smooth stories of theirs. Hope and pray that our love stories will end like that, as smooth as that. The more longer I have to bear to live without you, hurts me a lot, but I know, whatever it is , I have to get used to it for 2 years. Impossible for that to be changed to less than 2 solid years. Even, it may extend more than 2 years, who knows. Ya Allah, I pray and I plead, may this will end with a smile on our faces, end with a happy ending, I pray that he's the one for me, the right one. Amin.

lame.

okay. I have like half an hour to blog. Noted. Hehe. Yeah, gotta divide time wisely now. Tak boleh main- main dah kan. today is friday which means tomorrow is a holiday which means I am free to wake up late which means I just forget that I have driving class which again makes me realize that I can't wake up late! Argh lame! Demit. Huhhhh takpe.. Orang cakap, kalau bangun awal, rezeki senang nak masuk. and truth is I am not sure about the possibility of it to be correct. Haha! Biasa lah, ayat- ayat orang tua. ;)

one thing I just realized. I can't stay in my room alone. I mean like, I really don't like staying in a room alone without a roommate. yeah, tak biasa. :(. rasa sunyi sangat. because even in my house I stay in a room with my other two little sisters, except that if I wanted privacy then they will understand then they will automatically went out from the room for a while. Then when I was in a boarding school, I stayed in a room with the other three roommates and again in KTT, I stayed with my friend Dayah. To prove that I really prefer to stay with somebody else in a room, then again in Manipal, I stayed in the master bedroom with Izzati. See? now I am all alone. Even during the night if I am gonna sleep, I have to switch the lamp on because I am scared of sleeping alone. :(. Missing my little sisters suddenly. T_T


Okay dahhh enough. Now I want to have my dinner. Mee Sedap. Instant again. Sorry. >.<. Hee, happy dinner!


P/s: Jersey batch dah dapat. Yeay!! ;)

tolong lah baik:(

• I've fully used the voucher given by the government. thanks a lot for the good heart. 

• I am tired. feeling like to sleep, but I can't. 

• No mood. Handphone is not being nice to me. :(

• Nobody misses me like I do :(

•  I've lost everything I saved in my notes in  Audry. T___T

• pimples all over my face. Bila ntah muka nak okay macam dulu. 

• Why I failed too many subjects? Brings my motivation down so low.:(

• Why suddenly Audry turn off by itself then when I have to on back, all the messages have gone? Semua message yang aku sayang hilang. 

• Good night. I am tired. Mentally and physically. 

jum berusaha :)

Salam. Hello, cekelat. Hmm, results aku dah banyak la aku taw. Tapi ada lagi la yang tak dapat. Those results are as followed:

Medicine: 47
Surgery: 48
ONG: 52
Opthalmology: 58
ENT: nil
Community Medicine: nil

Hmm. highlight sikit markah yang teruk tu. :( Haihhh dah la subjects yang penting, leh plak aku failed segala. Apa nak jadi ni fitri. Dah lama kot aku tak failed, camana la boleh pecah record ni. Dulu masa dekat Manipal, sesusah mana pun exam alhamdullilah, lulus jugak la walaupun nyawa nyawa ikan kembung. Tapi kali ni dah dua subjects dah aku 'successfully' failed. :( Sedihhh oo tak tipu.. Bila nak bagitaw kat mak dengan abah tu rasa down sangat, rasa guilty habis, sebab kesian dekat mak dan abah sebab results aku teruk. Salah sendiri la, sebab sapa suruh main2 masak 6th sem, sepatutnya kena la pulun habis kan. takpela, benda dah nak jadi. mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni. Mungkin Allah nak aku berusaha kuat lagi sebab dah nak jadi doctor betul dah pun, tak leh dah nak main- main. Dah dalam clinical years, life would be a lot more tougher, well said. Tak boleh lah nak bersuka ria, bergelak ketawa macam aku student art ke sastera ke, kena bersungguh sungguh because my profession is totally different. I deal with the people's life. Sanggup ke aku tengok family patient aku sedih bila aku tak dapat nak jadi doctor yang baik kepada patient and treat the patient well? Yelaa.. Kalau ilmu tak cukup, practice pun tak cukup, macamamna nak come out with correct diagnosis and treatment?? Nurul Fitrilina, just sit back and think. Stop playing around. Life will be tougher now and in future. Be serious and matured with professional act. *nasihat untuk diri sendiri ni* :p

Ya Allah, kuatkan lah semangat aku, dia dan semua sahabat-sahabat aku untuk meneruskan perjuangan ini. Semoga perjuangan yang suci ini diberkati hingga ke akhirnya. Amin. =)

Semester 7- the beginning

Semester 7. Hello and Salam everybody. Yeah, yeah, it's true, I'm back to school, back to med skul, study and busy stuffs and all. No more holidays, enough for one week okay, don't ask for more. :).
Sorry for not updating cekelat during the holidays, because I was so busy and lazy to update, even I had the internet connection all 24-7.. Sorry! :D. Yeah, being at home was so great, meeting up with your parents, siblings and family and not to forget with him, not to say that I didn't have the chance to meet him in college, but I can only go out with Mr. Bam over the holidays only. Yeap, sabar- sabar, insyaALLAH everything will be just fine! :)

Actually, I have tonnes of stories to be told regarding the holidays but so lazy to type at the moment, hee, maybe I will story to you guys again on the next or next next post, just wait and see :). Speaking about Semester 7, now I am officially a FOURTH year med student. 3 years have passed, never have the thought that I have made it and crossed two big exams before reaching at this level. Alhamdulillah. It's just that, I just need to keep my spirit up high and continue studying, praying and hoping that the last two years will be just smooth before I will become a real DOCTOR. Amin. ;). Ups and downs have been faced, sweetest and saddest moments also there. Yeap, fourth year, life would be a lot more busier and stressful, but whatever it is, just remember that, I have to continue this battle till the end. Just pray to HIM that everything will be fine :) Regarding the love story of my life, let it be secret. InsyaAllah, another 2 years, all this patience will be repaid. Amin. :) Owh, my first posting for this semester is Community Medicine. Since I don't have class this evening, I just do nothing but cleaning and tiding up my room ;) . Love the smell of the flowers all over my room! Thanks for the flowers!! =))).. Will upload my room photo later. Not yet finished cleaning. Tehhee rest for a while :D.

Anyway, for Community medicine, we need to do some kind of research for this semester, lots of statistics to be learned, and even we gotta to use our dusty calculator because there are lots of calculations to be made. yeay, I kinda miss Mathematics so much! :)))) Hope the research won't be so hard, I hope I can find easy, simple, but knowledgable research for the use of all ;) Help me, help me for the research topic! Hee.

Okay, gotta stop now. Will update Cekelat later ;) Salam.