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Friday, May 6, 2011

Retired?

I miss home. I suddenly do. I miss everything about home. The living room. The kitchen. The rooms. The garage. The dining room. The tok's house. I miss the people, too. I miss mak. I miss abah. I miss ina. I miss wawa. I miss Adam. I miss Aliff. I miss tok, tokwan and Ecah too.:( I miss talking to them, laughing and giggling together. The laughter of Ecah caught my attention. ( Attention: Ecah is my smallest dearest cousing.;p)

Actually, to be real honest, my heart is breaking, literally. I am tired of keeping the spirits up high but, truth is I never earn anything. I tried, tried and kept trying, but nothing was there by my side. I lost. I lost. I lost. Very rarely I heard myself screaming, "Finally, I win!!" So UNUSUAL. Is it I am the one who should be blamed? Or is it just a test to see how far you can still stand even when something comes up in between and shakes your heart and strength? I have friends. They told be to be strong and don't give up. I have kelip-kelip to keep reminding me that in games, there will be winners and losers. I just have to try my best to achieve the best. But, now, still I am so broken. Maybe, too high expectations aren't good. It makes you feel so down.




Enough of speaking about this. I gotta be strong and try to face the reality. Sometimes, reality hurts but you gotta get used to it. Kuat Nurul Fitrilina, Kuat!! ;))))))))))))))))

2 comments:

OyOp said...

delusion of guilt...hurm...

fi3lina said...

napa delusion of guilt?