sedih bukan sadis.

SEDIH. Kali ini terasa nak menulis dalam bahasa ibunda, Bahasa Melayu. Ya, saya berasa sangat SEDIH. Kenapa ini semuanya terjadi? Kenapa mesti waktu-waktu begini. Di saat-saat di mana tak harus aku rasa SEDIH itu. SEDIH bila keputusan yang telah saya buat tidak memuaskan hati pihak yang lain. SEDIH bila keputusan saya dipandang lemah. Ya saya tahu saya bukan orang besar yang tahu semua benda. Ya, saya juga tahu saya bukan manusia sempurna yang memang sempurna dalam semua hal. Saya sedar dan amat faham siapa saya. Tetapi adakalanya, saya harus membuat keputusan yang drastik untuk sekadar melakirkan semula senyuman di wajah saya, setelah saya rasa sudah lama senyuman palsu terlakar sejak belakangan ini. Kembali kepada topik utama: Saya SEDIH. Bila ada insan yang tidak memahami dan tidak cuba untuk memahami. Bertubi-tubi kesalahan diletakkan di bahu saya, tanpa sejenak berfikir apa perasaan saya,apa significant keputusan saya dan yang paling menyedihkan, bila persoalan-persoalan itu diajukan pada insan lain dan bukan saya sendiri walhal saya adalah orang yang harus menjawab persoalan-persoalan ini. Mungkin, apa yang telah saya lakukan di luar tanggapan orang, namun, itu adalah keputusan saya dan saya rasa saya telah mengambil langkah yang mungkin terbaik saya juga tidak pasti tapi sekurang-kurangnya, air mata itu tidak akan mengalir lagi buat sementara waktu. Saya sudah penat dengan masalah-masalah yang menimpa sejak belakangan ini, sudah lali juga sudah capek kata mereka. Semua ujian ini untuk menguatkan saya dan saya amat faham itu. Terima kasih kepada DIA kerana masih menyayangi saya dengan dugaan yang bertubi-tubi dicurahkan supaya mengajar saya erti kekuatan dan kecekalan untuk hari-hari yang akan datang. Ya Tuhan, mereka mungkin tidak faham, mereka mungkin berfikir bahawa apa yang telah saya putuskan agak drastik dan mungkin membawa masalah suatu masa depan, itu saya tidak pasti, namun saya sudah TEKAD. Itu keputusan saya. Mereka yang tidak faham, saya tidak akan menyalahkan mereka sama sekali tidak akan menunding jari kepada mereka, namun sekiranya anda tahu, saya tidak akan menyusahkan anda dan itu adalah pasti kerana ini keputusan saya dan biar saya sahaja yang melalui apa sahaja kemungkinan pada masa hadapan. Ya Tuhan, kuatkan aku dan semoga keputusan ini ada hikmahnya. Hanya kepadaMu aku memohon. :)

Spending the whole day during christmas by watching Dil To Pagal Hai wasn't a good idea at all. Hours that u should spend with studying and facing the books were unsignificant now and please put no REGRET on this because this was your choice Nurul Fitrilina. I look on my table now, see, I'm watching. Tonnes of books waiting to be read, like calling my name each time I glance at them. But, I don't regret anyway, I mean just for today. Cause I learn something new, to cheerish me up again. Hee.... This story is just so sweet and I can't cope with the good-looking of Shah Rukh Khan now, and hoping that I can find someone like him, hurmm, maybe to be my soulmate. Haha. What a high dream. Urghh, I don't care because: I'm a little girl who live in a dream world and keep listing out her new wishes and won't be sad if they don't turn out to be real cause she knows that everything happens for a reason.(: She's the one who will keep waiting for the Raj Kumar ( Prince) to come and bring her away to live happily ever after. Cause she believe in one phrase now:

"Someone....Somewhere.....is made for us."

It is all because of the effect of movie. Hee. But I loike! Hee... Okay, stop talking about movie now fitri and take a step to your studying table. Start revising now or u'll be regret later.^_^

-fi3choc-

star,moon or sky?

I looked at the stars
Wishing I had one too
Hoping I could touch it with my bare hands
But, a dream remains as a dream
It's there but unreachable
It encircles our life but we are too restricted to hold it.

I stared at the moon,
Be there when it needs to be there
Though it does not as strong as a lighted sun,
Though it doesn't as wide as blue ocean,
A moon is still a moon.
Reflect a small shine just to complete the night.

People may come and go in my life
As what they wish as what they expect
As easy as A B C..
But, spirit to keep going won't never fade
I might put my hands down
I might show the white flag to you
But the heart within this fellow stops me in the middle.

Don't be like a carrot
getting soft and lost when you are tested,
Don't be like egg too
Getting hard and heartless when you are held by obstacles
Be like a coffee bean,
You change the water,
You add the taste,
You fill it with flavour,
Yet, you are ready if you are stopped in the middle.

And again, I glanced at the sky,
Hoping that there is no more cloudy look
Tomorrow and the days after,
Praying that the blue remains the blue and not grey,
And wishing that I still can see the beauty when I open my eyes the next day.
God, I cross my hands,
With a sincere heart and appealing mood
Listen to my prayers this time
And I know you will.
:)

Even I don't understand

Recent mood: urgghh TINGTONG and I don't really like this one. Still in the way to find all those possible reasons for this.And one most prominent reason is because of the UNIS exams which is just around the corner. 52 days, still counting and even that, causes my heart to beat even faster.Tachycardia again.Feeling down and giving up on things at this point of time aren't good ideas. Struggling is the thing that I should do so long before and keep doing that every second. Ya ALLAH, GIVE ME STRONG SPIRIT TO FACE ALL THIS. Prayers that keep me awake everytime. Prayers won't cost even a rupee. Remember that, Nurul Fitrilina. Keep praying to HIM and surely He'll listen.:). Cracking my head, trying to search the second reason for the TINGTONG-recent-mood got me a clue. Personal and personal matters throughout, circulating my head like CSF that keep circulating just to protect the precious brain. (Anatomy a little, opps sorry.=>) Friends and confusing stories, urggh the correct word is the fake confusing story that bugging me all this while. Trying to take care of all's heart but even then, I'm the one who hurts the most, but still trying to chill as what I do now, I guess. People who easily forget me when they are happy really hurts me a lot.:(. Fitri, come on. Grow up. They will find you when they are in trouble but leave u when they are shining again. It's the fact of life dear.:). This is it. I don't give a damn.:(

yeah.

duhhh.
time passes by!
MOVE fi3 MOVE!

Momentogether.

hey dude.how's everything ppl? hee.hope all go fine i guess.ohh,i just finished watching movie.hmm, a scary one.and now, i'm facing this acer lappy cause i miss blogging already.hee.sorry chocolate for not treating u well these past few weeks.I'm INDEED busy with lots of stuff including the study, personal matters,friends and world's matter.:p. And now i can imitate a sound of relief cause everything seems perfectly DONE, except the study.cause it keeps haunting my life each and every second.uff, it isn't 'haunting' me but it's more to encircle my life.that is why we are all called student.(:.apart from this, we just finished a great,superb event called LEGENDA which was held here in Manipal at KMC Green. Malaysian students from all over India came to Manipal. and honestly, I love that! I miss those ppl and they finally came.Talking, chit-chatting and spending time together with these ppl really made me satisfied and enlightens me again.Ohh,how I miss them.

Arisya, Amirah, Shahidi, etc.

How I miss this people only He knows well.
Thanks guys for coming. Later in time, we might be visiting u guys when we do have leisure time in future i guess.Wait for our reappearance later dear friends! muahhx.X0X0..
To those whose name is not listed but u were also there during Legenda, I love you guys too.
And to those who couldn't find any ways to reach Manipal, it's okehh bebeh. But just so u know, I really hope soon, u can come and have a visit here and u won't regret it even I know Manipal is hot and there is no shopping mall here.:P.But the food here is so damn marvellous. :))).

Ohh, off now.My eyes get tired and my hands need to rest a little cause my fun day has ended and here the days of struggling may begin tomorrow. Best of luck to all.Thanks.(:

i am a medical student.so be strong!

Being a medical student teaches me a lot.

• Settle things earlier than dateline because each day there will be lot of things added up.
• To keep strong even sometimes you can't score the exams even you study so hard the night before.
• Be confident of what you did without questioning what might be the circumstances afterwards.
• Put all your love life aside cause you don't have so much time to think about those stuff plus, no one will understand the 'busyness' of medical student.
• tears are my best friend these few days.
• closer to Him cause He will always be there to listen to your prayers.
• Make me smiling everyday trying to chill myself though I know lots of things to be finished off.

Love,
fi3chocolate.

Rizal.

I miss my old friend.
I really do.
An old friend who I've not known who he is till now.
A friend who suffers from leukimia and I wonder how he is now.
A friend who suddenly appeared in my life a long time ago and suddenly he went away.
A friend who is no longer Malaysian cause he moved to Russia those old days.
A friend who makes me remind me of him when I listen to these songs.
[Larut(Dewa), Pupus, My Heart,Kau Ilhamku and some more]
A friend who made me stronger than I was before.
And he is really my friend.
RIZAL.
Wherever you are now, I just want you to know, I miss you and your story.
I try to reach u through our friend but I lost her number anyway to get to know about you again.
And these date: 22/1/2007 gave a lot of memories between two of us.
I hope you will be as strong as a hard stone to face your truth in life which might turns u a lot.
And as if you know,
Fitrilina sayang kamu.T__T

simply let it go.

Suddenly, it haunts me. I try to ignore it, but it keeps bugging me all the night. Suddenly, I reminisced the past memories which made me smile a long time ago with a sweetest smile ever. But, why am I keep thinking those little things when you don't even care how I feel? Do you deserve all this? Do you suppose to see what you shouldn't? Do you think what I might think when you did this to me? I wonder and wonder. It is all masked by a fake care that u seems to say every time you try to make me believe you. Will I enter your trap again? Will I just allow myself to be caught again? Am I willing to face what people might say later? Am I willing to hurt people again like I did those days before? I question but I don't even see the answer or the clues for the answer. People say the history is just a history. Just let it be and don't make it change your life in future. That is it. Enough is enough. The bruises will always be there.

<3

It's just soo gloomy.
Can't it go for a while?
I'm tired already.
Trouble is a friend,they said.
How strong I am to face this make-you-stronger-thing?
Haiihhhhh~

Oh, I don't care~

Today, I feel like writing. Hmmm, it's been ages since I last wrote and updated Chocolate. I mean, update about my current life, story and how it flows recently.Yeahh, as usual, exam was just ended. Outcome? I don't know yet, but what I can say for the time being, I'm regretted of what I did for this whole third block. I played around, spent time doing things I shouldn't, cried for those simple little things that I should really put those matters aside. But, that was it. I can't turn back and correct it. The only time to regret is now, before University Exam shows its shadow very soon. As what people keep saying to me, when I sighed to them, " U still have time Fitri to catch back what you have left before, to grab back what u lost before and to start struggling back from day one." Ohh, I nodded. That is what I should realise long before, before it's too late. :(. As a summary, what I can say now, I want to focus back again in Block 4. I'll make sure things were not the same as the previous block. Hmm, I believe in one quote, that keeps me in the line till now.

"People make mistakes cause they are not perfect.
Learn from the mistakes and live your life."

That is it for my current update in my study. Love? Don't have one till now. Huh? Does it matters after all those tears that surrounded me last 2 months? I'd better stop. Disappear like as if nothing happens really get into my nerves now. But, so what. Do I look like I care? I'm well HAPPY now with my life.(:. U are like pieces of those poems that u used to give me, and now I've thrown it away already cause it made my heart sick and plus, my Chaurasia is far better to be read and memorise compared to your so-called-love-poem. I love ANATOMY more okay? =)

Should stop now I think. I got some more planss tonight.(:

MOVIE MARATHON jom newarn? ^-^

happy birthday sayang.(:

'ohhh.tetiba teringat kesah lama. arrrggh. tasuker,tasuker,tasuker."

introduction untuk kali ini.(: hmm, hari ni tanggal 5 November 2009 adalah birthday adikku, NURUL FARINA BINTI MUSTAPA
yang ke-19.Hee.
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAYYYY~~~
You know, u almost getting to the 20's life,jangan perasan muda lagi yehh.
Hee..Maaflah semalam tak dapat kak own call sebab focus gila dekat Biochem, sebab biasa laa banyak lagi tak study.Hee...^-^.Malam ni ataupun esok kak own call anda okehhh syg...Hee....
Sempena hari ini, kak own ada beberapa ucapan untuk kamu wahai adik Na.
The lists are as follow:

• moga dimurahkan rezeki dan dipanjangkan umur
• moga sentiasa dalam rahmat dan inayah Nya.
• moga terus sukses dalam hidup.
• moga berbahagia selalu and I know u are because of us right sis? lalala
• jadilah Cikgu yang baik nanti yehhh.
• And you know I LOVE U dear.(:

spotters.

spotters.
really spoiled my mood the whole evening.
y spotters? hmmm~T__T
even I tried and worked so hard, the outcomes were not as much as what I did before.
maybe what Eddie said during tazkirah that day was true.
"Semua ini ujian Allah. Allah tak akan uji umatNya yang tak dapat nak melalui ujian2-ujian ini."
atau..
"Mula-mula, memanglah penuh dengan ulat.Tapi jangan lupa, ulat itu akan bertukar jadi rama-rama yang cantik suatu hari nanti."
These two things that keep me in the steady mood these few days.
Oh Tuhan, tabahlahh hati ini.
Kuatkan hati ini macam dulu.
*sigh*

sometimes vs often

Sometimes...
When you did good things but it ended up with failure..
You feel like hope is gone,
You feel like you deserve something better..
You feel like the life is so unfair..

Sometimes..
when you are at the floor..
You don't have the gut to look up..
To reach the wall even you know you can't touch the roof..

Sometimes..
You see people smiling,
cause they get what they wish,
cause they hold the victory in satisfaction..
Cause they manage to reach the top..

Often,
You stop in the middle of the journey..
You step back and think..
wonder and question..
"Can I be the one?"

ok.=)

-You Belong With Me-


You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she dosent get your humor like I do...
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she dosen't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'

But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see, you
You belong with me

You belong with me
Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
Baby...
You belong with me

Oh'
I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know your about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me

Don't judge me.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."
Don't judge me by who I am..
Don't judge me by how I look..
Don't judge me by what I did..
Cause I can do more than what u think.
And I can cross the boundaries if I have too.
So, PLEASE.
Don't look down on me.

wajar x?

Hidup? Macam ni lah. Macam biasa.Ke kelas dan balik study.
Exam block dah tak lama dah.
Aku masih macam ni. Tak betul-betul utilise masa dengan semaximumnya.
*Sigh*....Tapi apakan daya memang salah aku sendiri kot.
Tak boleh nak salahkan sesiapa.
Ohh...Current new events. Akan ke JASSI weekend nih.
At last, dapat jugak.
InsyaAllah ada rezeki aku p.
Tapi at the moment, I am just soo guilty.
Sebab at the same weekend, bebudak Devangere nak datang.
T___T..
Waaa.....Mahu spend time dengan mereka.
Tapi mahu juga belajar tentang bagaimana nak handle kehidupan sebagai seorang doktor suatu masa nanti secara Islamicnya.
Itu juga penting.
Tapi aku tekad pada hati.
Aku pilih yang kedua.
Tapi kawan2, bukan bermakna kalian diketepikan!
Aku sayang kalian!
=)..
Moga kita dapat jumpa lagi di lain waktu andai nanti tidak berkesempatan.
Doakan yea.:)
Ada satu cherita lagi.
Tadi tak semena-mena air mata gugur.
Hahaha.
Ada rasa malu di situ.
kui2.Cheritanya begini:
Beberapa hari lepas aku ada laa buat status FB.
"Fitrilina Mustapa kerinduan pada anak2.ipin,ilang,entoi,ummey,itam."
Itulah status aku.
Tiba-tiba lepas gap kelas kul 2, aku check email.
Ina, adikku comment.
Dia cakap ada 2 ekor anak2 aku mak teh bawak balik rumah.
Terus tepon mak, tanya.
Dan aku nangis sebab itu.
Masih berfikir wajarkah?T__T

Ajab Si Om Shanti Om.

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite

Aayi aisi raat hai jo bahut khushnaseeb hai
This night is very lucky

Chahe jise door se duniya, woh mere kareeb hai
The one whom the whole world desires is close to me

Kitna kuch kehna hai phir bhi hai dil mein sawaal kahin
I have so much to say and yet I question….

Sapnon mein jo roz kaha hai woh phir se kahoon ya nahin
Should I voice what I’ve so often repeated in my heart?

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite

Tere saath saath aisa koi noor aaya hai
The light emanating from you

suka lagu ni..(:

Chand teri roshni ka halka sa ek saaya hai
Makes even the moonlight but a pale shadow compared to you

Teri nazron ne dil ka kiya jo hashar, asar yeh hua
Your eyes created such a tumult in my heart that…

Ab inme hi doob ke ho jaoon paar, yahi hai dua
All I wish for now is to drown in them

Ankhon mein teri ajab si ajab si adaayen hain
There’s something special in your eyes

Dil ko banade jo patang saansein yeh teri woh hawaein hain
Your breath is the wind that makes my heart soar like a kite

kalo nak filter dulu aci x?

comel.
sweet.
hee.tahlaa.tetiba nak sebut benda2 indah tu.
walaupun tak jadi kat aku pon.
kat org lain tapi aku jugak tumpang happy.
weee. finding PRINCE HENRY isn't a simple thing I guess.
Banyak benda kena filter.
Antaranya:

• mata takbule sepet.
• tak nak yang putih melepak cam pompuan.
• mahu sawo matang.
• tamau yang jambu.
  
• mahu beriman, bule leads aku.ketua yang baeek.ewaah.(:
• harus at least sebaya.tamau muda.tua lagi bagus.kekeke.
• mahu yg sanggup bwk aku p Eiffel Tower.=p
• mahu yang minat BMW juga macam aku.
• terima aku seadanya.allollolloh.
• the rest goes on.
  

Haha.Manusia memang.Memilih nya lebih2.Biasalah tu.adat.Tapi jodoh ketentuan dah di tangan Dia.Apa bule buat.Terima saja.Filter ke tak ke, suma dah ditentukan.Hee.Pasrah sudeyh.-_-

D’Masiv – Merindukanm

Lagu baru~ Hmm...Actually, the new song that I found out to be interesting.Hee..Enjoy.(:

saat tertawa di atas semua
saat aku menangisi kesedihanku
aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang


selama aku masih bernafas
masih sanggup berjalan
ku kan slalu memujamu

meski ku tak tahu lagi
engkau ada di mana
dengarkan aku ku merindukanmu

saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya
saat aku meratapi kekalahanku
aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang

melayang tapi perlu focus.

Aku akan terus berblogging.Aku akan terus mencurahkan apa yang kau rasa kat sini.Chocolate jer yang dengar je apa yang aku ngarut.Aku tak betul2 stable sekarang ni.Walaupun depan semua orang aku pretend macam aku okay.Macam aku orang paling happy dalam dunia.Tapi aku selalu melayang lately.AKu perasan sangat benda ni.Kenapa aku perlu MELAYANG? Melayang sebab si budak itu yang tak pernah nak menghargai aku? Melayang sebab orang lain yang selalu pandang rendah pada kebolehan aku? Melayang sebab aku terus diam walaupun hati aku memberontak? Melayang sebab aku rasa jauh hati sangat? Melayang sebab apa? AKu pun tak pasti mengapa.Tapi to be damn honest, aku memang melayang.Sekarang yang patutnya aku study aku masih lagi berblogging padahal banyak lagi benda yang perlu aku settlekan, dengan histo yang belum lukis, notes JP yg bertimbun.Anatomy lower limb yang blum lagi aku bukak buku untuk revision. Kenapa aku macam ni? Fitri, cuba focus. Please. TInggalkan terus apa yang dah berlalu. Dulu2, kau selalu kuatkan diri kau EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. kan senang tu? Ingat je benda tu, and tolong pandang depan balik. Jangan melayang time JP tengah ajar pasal maximum transport, pasal renal threshold. Jangan melayang masa Jay ajar liver.Jangan melayang bila orang cakap dengan kau.Jangan melayang bila kau tengah lukis histo,takut-takut kau lukis benda yang tak sepatutnya. Fitri, silalah kuat.SIlalah jangan melayang lagi. Buang rasa jauh hati tu jauh-jauh. DIa takkan pernah paham. Lupakan pada kisah lalu. Biarkan semuanya berlalu. Buka diary baru. Diary lama dah sampai last page. Dah tak boleh nak sambung lagi walaupun kau sumbat macamana pun.Space dah tak cukup. Air mata tolong jangan mengalir lagi. Chocolate, thanks for listening. Fitri nak sambung belajar. Fitri nak kuat lagi. Betul nak kuat macam superwoman.

do i look like i care?

If you love somebody,
set them free.
If they return,
they were always yours.
If they don't,
they never were.

life.

::LIFE IS LIKE A WHEEL AND NOW I'M AT THE BOTTOM::

it's sad how people you know become people you knew
it's sad how you think you cant grow but you already grew
it's sad how you can start over when your young but not old
it's sad how you say were friends but you act so cold
it's sad how people are here but tomorrow they'll be gone
it's sad how friendship don't last forever but they last very long
it's sad how people don't think and make so many mistakes
it's sad how your best friend was someone so fake
the saddest part of all is we live like this for eternity
but the saddest part of all is this is the life to be...

-here i am once again-

Sudah lama tangan ini tidak bergerak menekan papan kekunci laptop acer ini untuk mengupdate blog.Lame reason, busy....Tapi memang busy pun... Busy dengan macam- macam benda. Antaranya benda yang berlaku these few weeks:

• Majlis ORIENTASI BATCH 25. Aku menari hari penutup tu...Lagu combination ASMARADANA, GAGAP, TARIAN JAWA & I WANT NOBODY BUT U. Pecah rekod kott. First time performed menari. Biasanya sketch laaa.... Hee... Btw, it was a nice experience. Credits to my 'menari gang': Fara, Mirae, Ckin, Zaty, Mun, Ina.:)

• Kawan-kawan aku mengalami kemalangan dengan kereta TEMPE. Antaranya, Aliff, Redz dan yang paling teruk sikit Eddie. Radius dengan ulnanya patah. Hmm... Kadang-kadang bukan salah kita..Salah orang tempatan yang bawak kereta ke motor ke auto ke macam 'lollipop'.Btw, 'lollipop' means 'budus'. Fahamlaa yea. Hee..On the same day, housemates aku, Mira dengan Zaty pun mengalami kecelekaaan tapi yang biasa-biasa sahaja. Kemalangan yang agak kelakar. Tidak boleh diceritakan di sini.. Hehehe... Semoga cepat sembuh kawan-kawan.=)
  

• Majlis sambutan HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. Ini paling best.. Walaupun raya kali ini aku beraya dengan teman2 Manipal, tapi ini adalah pengalaman yang paling best and unforgettable. Buat kerja sama2,kecewa sama-sama sebab raya bukan 20/9 seperti yang sepatutnya,hee...tapi still, dengan mereka2 itu, aku HAPPY balik... Thanks kawan2.=) Ohh, plus, ada pengakuan nak di buat. Baju raya yang aku pakai tu, mungkin kali pertama dan terakhir aku pakai.. Hehehe... Serik dah beli baju meriah sangat.. Actually, baju raya aku baju lain.. Kebaya yang aku pakai time hari raya tu saja2 jer buat doolu2... Sekali meriah laa sangat... Hee... tak nak dah laa pakai walaupun aku tahu itu agak membazir.. Hehe.... Maaf! Janji tanak beli dah kain sari meriah2...lalalala....=D

• PBL (Problem Based Learning) baru je abes tadi untuk subject ANATOMY. Ok laa.... Aku explained pasal 'Peritoneal and Visceral Relations of Ovary'. Walaupun PBL kali ini aku tak dapat nak prepare betul-betul.Tapi, keseluruhan, I gave 4 stars.=)

Itu yang sudah berlaku. Yang akan aku hadapi pun ada lagi jugak.Hmm... Paling terdekat adalah:

• ANATOMY CLASS TEST.Whole abdomen, upper limb,histo. Padahal upper limb bukan baca abeh lagi.. Waa..Fighting fi3! =)

• PHYSIOLOGY class test, the same day as Anat test.I can't imagine what will happen to me on the night before. Mungkin kopi akan menjadi sahabat sejati aku.Mungkin juga.X.X

Jadi, apa-apa pun yang berlaku, janganlah kamu give up yea...Hehe...Bagi nasihat pada diri sendiri. Okk readers. Tat's all for now.^_^

Janganlah.

Jangan tipu pada sang hati.

Jangan diam kalau rindu.

Jangan benci kalau sayang.

Kesimpulannya, JANGANLAH.

-rindu saat itu-

Rindu mak.abah.adik2.
Mak demam.Dengar suara dia semalam.Still x okay...Risau pulak.Dah suruh mak makan ubat.
Get well soon mak! =).. Pagi tadi lepas practise nari2, aku saja la bukak folder LAGU RAYA.Play all.Tetiba keluar la lagu Mamat.Kupohon restu ayah bonda.Waaaa.Sebak sangat.Tapi apa boleh buat.Raya di rantauan macam ni la.Raya dengan kawan2.Tak pernah lagi beraya dengan kawan2.Mungkin rasanya lain.Rasa ni lah yang aku nak rasa.Mencari pengalaman.Ni bukan dugaan besar.Cuma mungkin masa pagi raya tu akan rasa sedikit sebak.Seperti hari raya sebelumnya, pagi2 lagi dah siap.Baju raya pasti akan match satu family.Hee.Salam2 pastu keluar sembahyang raya sama2.Dengan tok,tokwan dan mak n bapak sedara aku.Kazen juga.Rindu saat tu.Tapi apa boleh buat.Inilah dinamakan pengalaman.Pengalaman mematangkan fitri! ^_^

-aku ada niat baik-

Penat la.
Penat.Kena nari2.
tapi apa bule buat.
ikhlaskan hati.=)
Tapi rasa sedih sangat.
Patutnya 10 malam terakhir, aku makin kuat sujud padaMu ya Allah di bulan berkah ini.
Tapi atas alasan kepenatan, aku membataskan niat buat sementara.
Moga hari kehadapan sebelum bulan ini berlalu pergi, aku akan mengkabulkan niat aku itu.AMIN.=)

I'll be there.

"I'll be there."Specially dedicated to me by my roomie.=)
Thanks dear..
She lifted my spirit back! =p...
Sayang kamu laarr....
" Love won't fade away just by a chicken pox."
Wakakaka...
Here are d lyrics.

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

hurm.hurm.hurm.sigh.sigh.sigh.

Salam. Tetiba sahaja aku rasa tangan ni gatal sangat nak menaip.Rindu sangat nak menaip padahal sekarang jam dah menunjukkan pukul 2 pagi dan aku harus tidoq sebab sok ada kelas tapi yang bestnya kelas starts at 9.15am sebab ada Histology Practical.:D...Apa yang aku nak tulih? Apa yang aku nak update? Apa yang aku nak cerita? Nak ke aku cerita kisah yang hari2 aku kini dah makin busy? Dengan PBL,SDL, test which is around the corner? Tak pun nak ke aku cerita pasal aku terpaksa masuk DANCE padahal tak pernah aku involve dengan dance nihh? X pun kisah adik aku yang kecik yang tolong mak kemas rumah bila dia cuti? Tak pun kisah aku yang makin hari, makin aku rasa aku dah hilang dalam diam? Atau kisah aku yang sakit sangat nak dibicara dengan ayat? Patutkah aku cerita? Ada ke insan nak mendengar dan menolong aku? Aku dah letih menyoal.Letih jugak mencari jawapan.Penat laa.Penat dengan benda nihh..Hari-hari aku macam biasa tapi kebelakangan ni memang tak yang macam aku harapkan.Tak yang macam a happy ending should end with.Ada je benda tak kena.Ya Tuhan, bukan aku merungut,sama sekali TIDAK. Sedihkah aku? Aku tak sedih.Kecewakah aku? Hmm...Mungkin tu la kot perkataan yang sesuai. Aku KECEWA. Napa sakit sangat untuk aku terus kuat macam selalu dan tinggalkan apa yang tak pasti? Napa aku susah nak BERTAHAN macam hari2 aku yang dulu? Adik aku kuat sebab aku. Kalo aku dah goyah macam ni, akan kuatkah adik2 ku lagi? Aku takmau adik2 aku lemah. Aku nak mereka terus kuat.Terus berdiri macam selalu.Tapi aku yang si benteng pun dah rasa nak goyah. Goyah sebab perasaan aku sendiri.Goyah sebab aku percaya pada benda yang tak pasti.Goyah sebab aku terus tunggu.Fitri, tolong jadi sekuat fitri yang dulu.Gantung.Biarlah.Kesah apa aku? Ada sapa kisah? Takde sapa pun akan kisah. So, buat apa nak kisah? Ingat fitri.It is not the end of your life. U have few dreams to be achieved. Still on the way to make them real very soon.Tolong jangan buat mak dengan abah sedih.Tolong laa buat INSAN2 berdua tu bangga dengan kau.Dreams and love are possibles? Dreams, obviously YES.Love? None of my bussiness. 09.09.09.Wahai hari baik, kuatkan nama insan yang namanya NURUL FITRILINA MUSTAPA mulai saat detik ini.

seberapa pantas.

TITLE: SEBERAPA PANTAS
ARTIST: SHEILA ON 7
P/s:: suddenly, i fall in love with the song even I know it is an old song.(:



seberapa pantaskah kau untuk kau tunggu

cukup indahkah dirimu untuk slalu kunantikan
mampukah kau hadir dalam setiap mimpi buruku
mampukah kita bertahan disaat kita jauh

seberapa hebat kau untuk kubanggakan
cukup tangguhkah dirimu untuk slalu kuandalkan
mampukah kau bertahan dengan hidupku yang malang
sanggupkah kau meyakinkan disaat aku bimbang

celakanya hanya kaulah yang benar benar aku tunggu
hanya kaulah yang benar benar memahamiku
kau pergi dan hilang kemanapun kau suka

celakanya hanya kaulah yang pantas untuk kubanggakan
hanya kaulah yang sanggup untuk aku andalkan
diantara beri aku slalu menantimu

mungkin kini kau tlah menghilang tanpa jejak
mengubur semua indah kenangan...
tapi aku slalu menunggumu disini
bila saja kau berubah pikiran

i have no right,and so do u.

Salam Mr Chocolate. Here I am again. Thanks for those who wish me Happy Birthday and thanks for remembering me thou.I am sooo glad! :D..Btw, I have already started my classes for the 3rd block last Monday. The results for the 2nd block was ok with some improvement. As usual, I have to work more and add more efforts for the next two blocks, keep advising me myself. Hmm...for this entry, I just got something lingers in my mind. Something that keeps haunting me these few days. It is not so serious which can give great effects in my life but it makes my mood as dull as the cloudy day.uhuu i guess.I keep thinking y people can't appreciate me as what I am? Y people say I always make things complicated but it shouldn't be that way? I don't know what should I answer them. Ohoo..That was one thing. I got another stuff that I keep thinking till now. Saying that you are serious with me but then u lost without news even I know it was my fault cause I missed a call that very fine day? Okehh.I admit I was wrong for choosing the silent mode that day even I was not that busy...Okehh...Then, i waited again for the next day, hoping i would receive another phone call but I was wrong for giving too much hope. I was wrong. On the date of 28th of August I came back to Manipal. I forgave but I regretted for the decision. Maybe I shouldn't. :(. For the one that the name cannot be mentioned I am so sorry. Maybe I should just let you go. Go on with your life there, I will go on with my life. It is just not so right for us to stay even longer cause I have already turned back to my principle. Wassalam.

:(

sedih sangat.........:((

Sebulan tu tak lama.

I'm counting days.

Tinggal semalam je lagi aku nak tidoq kat rumah.
hmm...sigh...sigh..sigh....
sebulan cuti.memang sangat sekejap.
aku harap aku balik ni berbekalkan semangat yang berkobar-kobar untuk masuk BLOCK 3..
pastu amek University Exam.
Semangat fitri.Semangat!!!
Fighting!!
:D..
Aku akan rindu balik muka-muka ni very soon.



+my sweethearts++Adik Ina+


mereka bertiga.
+Adik Wawa+
+Adik Aliff++Adik Adam+

Sekarang ni...aku tengah cuba mengumpul semangat.
Good Luck NURUL FITRILINA.

The Climb-Miley Cyrus.:)

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
The pain I'm knowing
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

none of ur bussiness.

saya rindu saat doolu2.
rindu sangat.
tapi rindu jelaa.
tader pape pun.
sebab kadang2 tanpa sebab kita akan teringat.
bukan minta nak teringat.
tetiba je pun.
muga terus bahagia yea.
lol.
^_^

Eiffel Tower.

Sebab apa aku nak sangat pergi Eiffel Tower?
Tahlaa.Tader sebab.
Mungkin la kot sebab tempat tu ROMANTIC??
Tak pun sebab tempat tu kat FRANCE?
Tak pun sebab tempat tu macam MENARIK?
hmmm....
Dari dulu lagi teringin ke sana.
Tapi tak tau lagi ada rezeki ke tak nak ke sana.
Ramai orang tanya.
"Apsal ko semangat sangat nak p sana? Tempat lain pun cun waaat."
Aku tak tawu nak jawab apa.
Orang sekeliling aku memang da lali.
Hee.Sampai ada seseorang cakap camni laa kat aku.
Ingat Fitrilina, Ingat Eiffel Tower.
Hee.....Tahlaaa.
Ada rezeki aku pergi laa.
Takde rezeki nak wat camana.
Tengok gambar sudah.^_^

ere bax.

salam.
Here I am.
Once again.
Hee.For almost 2 weeks I leave dis Chocolate alone.
How I miss this mister.haha...
I'm home now.Malaysia.:D.
Lots of things happened and I did lots of things...:))..
I'll update bax.A little later.Chowww....^_^

P.A.C.K.I.N.G.

Wow.To my surprise, the exams finally ended.Finally..

COOL.

How's the feeling? How I felt?

• Am I happy cause the one-month-holiday will start tomorrow?
• or am I disappointed because of the Biochemistry OSPE last paper was soo shit? hmm..
• Am I excited to go back to Malaysia again?
  

Yeah.To be honest, I do feel all the feelings.
I feel the first one.
The second follows.
Then, goes the third.

Ohhoo..People.
Can't wait to go back home.
I miss everyone.
I miss the environment of Malaysia.
Not India ok.Not India for sure.^^

Looking back right and left me now.
Ohhooo.
Still lot more stuff to be done!

P.A.C.K.I.N.G!!

Just now, Fara came to my room with the hope she can put the henna on me and hers to.
Henna.Or simply called "inai".
She surfed the net to find the new pattern.
And finally.
She found it.

"Fara::Fitri, meh aku try kat ko.Try kat diri sendiri tak jadi la."
"Fitri::Boleyh2.Tapi tangan kanan yeah.Tangan kiri nak kemas lagi.Hee"

Then she held my hand, used her strength and ability to follow the pattern.
Exactly like in the net.
It was nice.
I saw it.While she kept putting the henna on me with her nice design.
Suddenly, because I was too tired, I slept.I slept while she made the design on me.
Then I thought of something.
It was like in the dream.
Spontaniously, I stratched my hand.
Just exactly on the design.
Ohhhoooo.
Pity fara! =)...*wink3*
I spoiled it.
Ngee...Sorry dear.It was an accident.
^_^

Okayh.Tink I should stop now.Things are waiting for me to arrange them nicely and pack them as soon as possible.The bus will move at 7am tomorrow to Bangalore.:)
I won't sleep tonite.
InsyaAllah.

Tah~

Am I too bad?

Am I?

Am I supposed to just shut up if everything goes wrong?

Don't I have the right to say too?

Am I fated to face all this alone?

Am I??

Should I just follow what they say?

Should I just entertain them when they need me and leave them when they don't even care about me?

Hmm....

Fitri, please be strong.

Focus dear.

Focus.

Tomorrow is physio's exam.

Ohh, one more thing, am I fated to be hurted and heal all the wounds by my own?

Am I??

Tired.with.all.those.things.T.T

tachycardia.

14.08 petang.



Lokasi:Manipal, India.



Tetiba rasa macam Tachycardia.


Kenapa yeh?


Mungkin sebab esok exam.


Mungkin.


Sudah baca.


Cuma mengingat kembali.


Tapi masih Tachycardia.


Kenapa?


^^


Tuhan, tenangkan aku.

The battle begins.

Kringgg!!!
It's ringing..It's ringing...Already 5.30am.
Class? No class.Study? For sure..Hmm..Solat Subuh first.
Then suddenly a plan comes into my mind.
Continue sleeping till 8?
Naaaaa!! Stop those nonsense.lol!.Focus fitri.
Study!.:p..
Will be the busiest week soon.with d block exam.
Those three subjects are waiting.
PHYSIOLOGY::BIOCHEMISTRY::ANATOMY::
Yeah, guys.I'll conquer u all.We'll see.We'll see.:D.

Then I'll move forward to the next agenda.
Will be going bax to Malaysia very soon.
=).
That's what I've waited for all this time.
Fitri.Chillin.
Study first.
Exam first.
Will have anatomy spotters tomorrw.
Nak sign out ni.Nak sign out nih.
Wish me luck.

Ohh..Special advice to Aidil Firdaus.
Allah loves him more.
Gather your strength back..
Get ready for the journey of life after this.
Best of luck.^_^

To my friends out there.
My 24's batch friend.
Best of luck examssss.
Fighting! =)

Orang kata...

Orang kata kalau kita fikir positif semua akan baik2 belaka...
Orang kata kalau kita terasa kita buat taktaw je sebab tu mainan perasaan...
Orang kata kalau kita emotionally unstable, kita ceriakan la hidup selalu...

Hmm...Ramai orang kata mcm tu...Ramai..Maksudnya, berhasil...Maksudnya, betullah tu...
Tapi kenapa hati kecil ni selalu rasa tak? Selalu tak boleh nak ikut apa orang kata..Selalu buat benda yang sebaliknya...Napa hati kecil ni selalu rasa lost, rasa hopeless, rasa macam sorang2, rasa tak best...tak best laa..susah nak cakap...Yang penting semuanya bukanlah rasa yang baik dan rasa yang positif....hmmm...T_T...Kenapa hati kecil ni macam ni? Kenapa? Jawab sendiri lah fi3...fikir.Duduk.Tenangkan hati.Saat ni memang Dia yang cuba aku ingat..Tiap saat..Tiap ketika...Moga berhasil...

Orang kata kalau nak berjaya, kena usaha....
Orang kata kalau mahu yang terbaik, kena sabar..

Orang kata lagi...Dan fitri?
Apa yang fitri kata?
Fitri tak mau cakap apa-apa dah.T_T...
Fitri nak diam.Betul nak diam.Betul.

Adakalanya..

Adakalanya...
Aku lemah....
berlindung di balik perjalanan hidup...
Berharap adanya sinar yang datang...
Berdoa mendung yang meliputi hari-hariku bakal berlalu....
Namun...aku hanya mampu berdoa...
Pada Dia yang mendengar..Pada Dia yang memahami...

Adakalanya..
Mata salah memandang...
Lidah salah mentafsir....
Telinga salah mendengar...
Itulah hakiki yang pasti...
Yang tetap ada pada aku si insan biasa..
Meniti atas kehidupan dunia yang sementara...
Berbekalkan kekuatan yang bersisa...

Adakalanya...
Aku terlalu menuruti rasa hati...
Mengharap ada belas kasihan yang masih berbaki..
Namun aku dibiarkan sendiri lagi..
Mengumpul kekuatan dan semangat...
Berharap aku akan terus berdiri..
Seperti aku yang dulu...

Ya Tuhan...
Engkau yang maha mendengar..
Tenangkanlah aku...
Kuatkanlah aku..
Untuk terus berpijak di dunia sementara ini..
Untuk terus berjuang dan berjuang..
Tanpa rasa kecewa dan duka...
Ditemani semangat yang terus menyala..
Walau mungkin cahayanya tidak seterang mana...
Aku pasti...Aku yakin...
Aku bakal kuat lagi.

p/s: It is just a simple poem.I did it.I did it by myself.Moga memberi pengajaran.Fighting!^_^

Mr Chocolate.-_-

I miss Mr Chocolate.Hmm..Who's Mr Chocolate?

The one who:

• listen to me when I'm down
• Always be there when I have new poem to be shared
• Keep supporting me to stand even longer without quitting.
• is willing to hear my new story either the one that make me smile or the one that activates my lacrimal duct.lol!..;p
• is my second best listener.:D..
• is always there even I keep telling crazy stuffs which don't even give any lessons.:D..

Special thanks to Mr Chocolate.^_^..
I'm glad to have you...
Mr Chocolate.
=)..

Tag Dari Fara.Sila lah baca.Mana tahu anda ditagged.:p

1) Bekas kekasih saya-
seorang insan biasa.

2) Saya sedang mendengar
Bunyi kipas yang kuat dalam bilik

3) Mungkin saya patut–
sambung baca pharynx yang dari ptg tadi tak abih2.:(

4) Saya suka–
kalo satu hari saya dapat ke eiffel tower dgn insan terchenta.lol! -_-

5) Sahabat-sahabat saya–
mereka yang terbaik!! thumbs up! =)

6) Saya tak faham–
kenapa saya suka sangat tido?

7) Saya kehilangan–
payung masa dekat foodcourt hari tu.sob3..

8) Ramai yang berkata–
saya ini blurr orangnya dan sangat suka perasan comel.=p

9) Cinta itu adalah–
indah...Memerlukan pengorbanan dan kepercayaan.:)

10) Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang–
bergembira hasratnya tercapai.

11) Saya akan cuba–
menjadi fitri yang kuat macam dulu...fighting! -_-

12) Perkataan SELAMANYA membawa maksud–
sampai akhir hayat.

13) Telefon bimbit saya–
Hilang atas kecuaian sendiri.Jadikan pengajaran.:)

14) Bila saya terjaga–
Saya menyesal sebab tidoq banyak sangat.:|

15) Saya paling meluat–
Kalau orang tidak menghabiskan kata-katanya..geram!

16) Pesta/parti adalah–
menarik.kalau makanan sedap.and pergi dgn pasangan yg handsome.lol!

17) Haiwan yang paling comel pernah saya temui–
mestilah ipun dan ipin saya.mereka ada di rumah.:D

18) Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan saya ialah–
masa dekat ktt..dengan 8cliques..masa umur 18 thun to 19 thun.x nak jadi 20!!

19) Hari ini–
sangat excessnya saya tido...haiiihh..

20) Malam ini saya akan–
study pulun2! fara cakap study pun kira qiamullail jugak janji dengan niat ibadah.:)

21) Esok pula saya akan–
ke kelas seperti biasa...rutin sebagai first year MMMC student.

22) Saya betul-betul inginkan–
kekuatan untuk terus tabah menghadapi dugaan hidup ini.T.T

23) Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini–
comelnya saya hanya Tuhan yang tahu.Betapa indah ciptaan Tuhan.lalala..;p

24) Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan-
Mesti lah pusat membeli belah..lamanya x shoppinggggg!!!!

25) Makanan Barat atau Jepun?–
Barat kot..tak penah makan makanan jepun.penah try shushi tapi x bes! smpai termuntah..ehehe..

26) Bilik yang terang atau gelap?–
Hmm..Gelap sesuai untuk tidoq.Terang sesuai untuk belajar.Belajar lagi penting.Jadi bilik yang terang menjadi pilihan.=p

28) Ayat terakhir yang anda telah katakan pada seseorang–
"Thanks." kepada Boss yang datang bilik aku repair lampu yang rosak..^_^

Insan yang bertuah mendapat tag dari saya.Sila buat ya..Saya pasti akan berasa gembira dan terharu..wahaha..^_^

• Syikin syg.:)
  
• Aiza
• Wado
• Safwan Atan
• Chika
• Zewy
• Kimkim
• Hanifi.
  

Ohh..What a day~~

Salam ppl.Hello.Guess what? I just realised on something.There are too many things I have to cover for next week and the next next week.Yes, I'm going back..Most probably on the 30th of July...Ohhh...Can't wait..Miss everything in Malaysia.lalala...=D..But to reach the time, I have to face too many things in a too little time...Hmmm...There's no use to sigh now.That is what student should do rite..Accept it and just follow the track and sure u'll be fine..:)..(i'm calming myself now.)..Regarding the unsettled things.

• PRACTICAL PHYSIO.
• PRACTICAL HISTO
• VIVA PHYSIO.
• ANATOMY SPOTTERS
• SDL.(the most common thing to do apart from PBL.;p)
• Last but not least, THE BLOCK EXAMS for all three subjects.

Yes! Keep reminding myself to study,finish the things on time and focus.No more daydreaming or what so ever.There's no use of angan2 indah lagi.Just focus and set the aim.=)..I'll make sure I'll score better than previous block.InsyaAllah.So, fi3, put more efforts yeah dear. But I have a confession to be made.I love this block! There are many improvement I found in this block compared to the previous one.Heee....Proud of myself.Lalalala...=p...As what ppl keep reminding me.A quote that I think we are familiar with.

HARI INI LEBIH BAIK DARI SEMALAM.
ESOK LEBIH BAIK DARI HARI INI.

Now I realise the meaning behind the quote..Haaa...At last..heee.....Ohh...Talking about going back, actually the worst part is that, I can't celebrate Raya with my family..:(..Since we are going to start class at 31 AUGUST 2009, we have to be here before the stated date.Yes.The stated date.Remember ppl what dat is that? What? Hari Merdeka? Yesss...Soo true...Hmm...But still one more special day for me.The day when I will soon turn to 20.I repeat..Twenty.ohhooo..What a 'test' for me...Yes..A so-called mature girl surely can face all this...-_-...Ohhooo....Yeah...me getting mature like mature chylomicrons.(what a nice example fi3.tahniah.U applied Biochemistry here.Dr Ullas and Dr Chandrika surely proud of u.=*..lol!)......Getting mature.Proud to hear that.Mak surely proud to hear that.so as my abah.Hmm...my friends too, I guess...Fi3 will never goin to be sooo bllluurrr nemore ppl! hee...=)
Tink that's all for now.Till we meet again.ahaakkss..^_^..

mesti bole.

thanks Ya Allah.
Done the PBL.Just left only 2 SDLs.
Then, focus fi3 for the second block exam which is just around the corner.!
Make sure you score well this time!
Jangan kalah.Jangan takut.
Mesti kuat.Mak kata mesti kuat.
Abah cakap Nurul boleh.
:)..
Yeap.Nurul mesti boleh.
Own mesti boleyh.
Amin.Amin.Amin.

kita ada Dia

Kadang-kadang kita rasa pedih.
Kita rasa sakit.
Kita rasa kecewa..
Tapi semua itu tak lama..
Ada ubat...ada penawar...
Semua jadi okay...
Cuma kadang-kadang, bila sakitnya dah selalu sangat, kita terus akan jadi immuned.
Sakit tahap mana pun dah tak rasa...
Dah macam heartless....
Sebab kita dah lali....
Masa untuk sembuh memang lama...
Andai kata penawar itu susah nak jumpa...
Dalam tempoh itu...memang kena tabah.
Memang kena banyak berdoa..
Sebab kita ada Dia....
Dia yang mendengar...Dia yang mengetahui....
Dia yang dah tentukan....
Pasrah..pasrah dan terus pasrah...
Berbalik pada persinggahan...
Rasa diri kita sebuah persinggahan bila diperlukan memang selalu...
Tapi itu tugas kita...Itu peranan kita..
Walau kita sakit dan pedih...
Tapi kita simpan sorang-sorang..
Yang penting mereka gembira...
Kita bukan dalam kisah indah mereka...
Kita hanyalah persinggahan...
Yang akan dicari bila letih...
Dan akan ditinggalkan bila sudah punya kekuatan...
Tapi diulang...
Kita ada Dia..
Dia yang satu....
Moga kita terus tabah...
Terus fighting!
T.T

msih tidak bertajuk.=)

Hari ini aku nak jiwang lagi.wahaha..Hujan tengah lebat di luar...Harus ditekankan di sini..Aku betul bukan PENYAJAK.Apa yang keluar dari mulut aku adalah apa yang ada dalam hati aku...:)..sahaja mengisi masa lapang sebelum p mandi...Tengah sejuk...Chill sebentar sebelum mandi...Heee~~Sajak di bawah ini will be a bit jiwang...wahaha...jangan gelak keyh...diulang.Ini antara cara mengisi masa lapang sekarang.:D..lama gila tak bersajak...walaupun dulu aku melayan jugak masa lower form....time form 2, form 3 masa zaman chenta monyet dlu..ekeke..:D..ni saja je terasa nak menyajak sebentar....Have fun~...=).Ohh...lupa nak cakap..Sajak ini tak bertajuk..sebab aku pun tak taw nak letak tajuk apa.Mngkin anda di luar sana ada tajuk yang menarik.:)...kalo ada silalah kongsi.Sekian.

saat itu...
saat mata kita bertentangan...
ada satu rasa yang muncul dalam hati...
masih cuba mencari apa rasa itu...
Namun aku masih lagi bingung....
Kerana aku bukan penyajak setia yang bisa mengeluarkan kata indah...
bukan juga penyair yang mampu mencairkan insan yang mendengar..
Aku hanyalah aku....
Makin dalam aku mencari...
Makin telus aku menggali...
Aku makin dekat dengan jawapan...
Walau aku masih lagi kaku tanpa kata..
Persoalan makin sampai kepada pengakhiran...
Namun ada kisah yang menghalang...
Bukan pada kuasa aku juga kamu...
Kisah remeh yang tetap harus diutamakan
Kita pada dunia yang berbeza meski atas paksi yang sama...
Bukan salah siapa...
Hanyalah kebenaran yang harus kita terima...
Kekuatan menjadi tiang...
Jangan mudah goyah pada goncangan pertama..
Semoga pengalaman mendewasakan..
Kesilapan mematangkan...
Kini harus kita yakin pada takdir...
Moga segalanya akan terjawab...
Dan pengakhiran dengan senyuman...

By,
-fi3ch0c-_-

Mimpi Indah.:)

Malam ni...Nak mengarut lagi...
Nak mimpi lagi...Nak berangan lagi...Nak macam-macam....Berangan.Mimpi.Bukan sekadar mimpi.Bukan angan-angan Mat Jenin...Bukan mainan tidur.Ini mimpi betul.Ini mimpi yang dah lama aku simpan.Dari kecik2 dulu.Dari tak reti mengeja sampai dah pandai mengeja.Dah boleh buat ayat sendiri.Dah boleh pulak tambah kata-kata kiasan, simpulan bahasa dan perumpamaan yang nak menyedapkan ayat.Dah pandai macam2 dah.Hmm...Dah kata pun mengarut.Memang mengarut sungguh.Malam ni aku nak jiwang.Yes..Nak jiwang..Bukan nak jiwang "Aku chenta kau." "Aku tak boleh hidup tanpa kau.""Aku sanggup lakukan apa sahaja untuk kau.".Bukan jiwang tu.Err...Mungkin ada jugak jiwang tu.Tapi bukan perkara utama malam ini.:D..Aku bukan nak mencari publisiti.Bukan nak semua orang baca cerita aku.Bukan nak semua orang keep commenting apa sahaja yang aku post.Bukan macam tu.Kalau sapa nak baca silakan.Sapa nak comment pun silakan.Amatlah dialu-alukan.Amatlah ditunggu-tunggu.Sapa nak post as anonymous pun silakan lah yea selagi tak menyentuh sensitiviti masyarakat.Harap paham.-_-..tapi sebolehnya tolonglah bgtahu siapakah anda yang sebenar.Senang.:)..Tak yah secret2...Aku jenis chill.Aku memang chill.Walaupun member2 aku keep saying yang aku ni gabra.Aku ni tak cool.Tapi tak! Aku cool.Betul.Aku cool.lalala~..Baiklah.Berhenti.Berbalik kepada tajuk utama.Mimpi.Mimpi yang aku nak sangat menjadi kenyataan.Mimpi yang kalau jadi kenyataan aku sangatlah bersyukur.Apa yang aku nak? Apa yang aku mimpi? Banyak.Banyak sangat macam orang lain.Tapi dalam merealisasikan mimpi-mimpi aku itu, aku kena berpegang pada banyak perkara.Banyak asas yang akan buat aku still in the right track.Tak mudah melatah andai kata angan-angan itu menjadi yang sebaliknya.Tidak seperti yang aku impikan.Tidak seperti yang aku inginkan.Mimpi yang kadang-kadang aku senyum sendiri bila aku fikir boleh pulak aku termimpi-mimpi sampai macam tu.kelakar pun ada.Lawak-lawak.Bermimpi macam semua itu akan jadi kenyataan.Paling aku pasti:

• We'll never get what we wish.
• We'll have to take the risk before the dreams come true.

Begitulah kesimpulannya.Ohh...tambahan...

• Angan-angan tidak akan menjadi kenyataan tanpa usaha.

Jadi, apa yang aku kena buat? Aku kena berusaha.Aku kena terus "fighting".

FIGHTING.FIGHTING.FIGHTING.

Tapi masih tidak cukup kalau sekadar berusaha tanpa berdoa pada Dia.
Dia yang menentukan andai kata impian kita itu menjadi kenyataan atau tak.

• Doa dan tawakal.

Tawakal.Selepas didahului dengan usaha.
Itu sahaja untuk malam ini.Pasti anda-anda yang membaca begitu eager skali nak tawu apakah impian a.k.a angan-angan a.k.a mimpi aku tu kan?
Heeee~~
Keep guessing.Keep wondering.
Untuk diceritakan sekarang aku tak mau lagi.Belum punya rasa nak cerita lagi.
Mungkin one day....
Yes one day as what someone pointed out.
ONE DAY.
Wallahualam.
(-_-)

Amal Islami.Ditagged oleh Wado.

• Copy gambar amal islam di bawah. Copy gambar je.Moga menjimatkan masa.harapnye gitu.

• Kemudian pilih 10 orang sahabat anda dan wajibkan mereka melakukan perkara yang sama. Ingat! 10 orang tahu? Lebih2, lagi bagus. Terlebih? Jangan melampau sudah.:D

Di sini, saya ingin memberi tag ini kepada:

• Syikin
• Fara
• Naqi
• Safwan Atan
• Mustaqim
• Nawwar
• Nad Ten
• Amierul
• Chika
• Redz Tsar

meh, saya nk cerita satu kisah:

satu hari ada orang kafir yang miskin dan compang camping pakaiannya bertemu dengan seorang muslim yang kaya raya (maaf xingt namanya) dan bertanya kepada beliau

"aku pernah mendengar bahawa dunia ibarat penjara dan penjara bagi seorang muslim, tapi aku melihat keadaan itu berbeza bagi aku dan engkau" (sebab org kafir tu miskin, yg org islam tu plak punyela kaya)

maka jawab si muslim tadi,

"rumah dan harta yang banyak bagi seorang muslim jika nak dibandingkan dengan apa yang akan diperoleh di akhirat nnti jauh lebih baik dr segala kenikmatan di dunia..tapi bagi seorang kafir, semiskin mana dia di dunia itu adalah lebih baik berbanding dengan miskinnya di akhirat yang penuh dengan azab dan siksa neraka"

mendengar jawapan itu, si kafir tadi lantas mengucapkan kalimah syahadah

jadi boleh wat kesimpulan kat sini,

islam menggalakkan umatnya untuk berjaya di dunia dan di akhirat (hari2 kita berdoa rabbana atina fiddunia hasanah, wafil akhirati hasanah, waqina azabannar)

orang yang menghayati erti doa ini, dia akan bersungguh2 untuk mencapainya namun pada masa yang sama kejayaan dan kekayaan yang diterima di dunia ini tidak menjadikannya lalai malah menjadi satu jalan untuk dia lebih berbakti di jalan Allah kerana dia tahu segala apa yang berlaku ke atas dirinya bukan sia2 tetapi adalah sebagai ujian untuk hidup kekal bahagia di akhirat kelak.

semoga kita sama2 berusaha mencapainya!!

amin~

Bila saya sudah okay.:)

hari ini....nak mengarut dalam bahasa terchenta.Bahasa Melayu.Bahasa Malaysia pon boleh.Kenapa nak mengarut?Ntahlaa..:)..sy gembira hari ini.sy rasa tenang.saya rasa sejuk.saya rasa relieved.err...lega la maksudnya.Bukan sebab apa2..Mungkin sebab cuaca yang agak menenangkan.hmm...Cuaca sejuk.Best.Hujan renyai2 tak lebat.Memang pada sesetengah orang akan menggalakkan tidur tp pada aku, aku lagi semangat.:)).tahlaa.cmana nak cakap.kesimpulannya sangat suka cuaca ni.Alhamdullilah setelah minggu yang busy hari ini, aku dapat bercuti..heee..:)..tp tak leh la cuti sangat.Ada anat test minggu depan.Harus struggle lagi.Hari ini beberapa perkara telah terjadi.Perkara baik.

• Ina register kat tempat baru.Sambung belajar setelah bercuti selama berbulan-bulan.Di Universiti Sains Malaysia.Cikgu-to-be.Sains Pendidikan.Best of luck Dear Sis.:).
• Syikin dah keluar dari hospital.Welcome bax dear.Kesian dia terpaksa bermalam almost a week kat Kasturba Hospital.Maaf sebab bila turn aku jaga ko, aku tertidoq je.Tido je lebih.ehehe.Jaga diri kamu baik2 yea.Ramai orang risau tentang kamu taw.igt tu.:)..lalala...=)
• Ohh..ada IYA nya Mesyuarat Agung.Something like dat.Ada input aku bawak balik.Best of luck to new committee.Moga terus sukses menerajui IYA.

Itu sahaja yang berlaku.Tapi saja ja nak bgtaw.:).ohh...lupa.semalam skype lagi dengan mereka.Kebetulan pak tam, mak tam dengan abang Din mai rumah.Nampak muka mereka lagi.Rindu juga mereka.Nampak AISHAH KHADIJA jugak! Cousin yang paling kecik.Dia comel sangat.Rindu.Dah besar sikit dah dia.Tak sabar nak balik bulan 8 ni.Nak picit2 pipi dia.Dan muka.:D.Ramai cakap muka aku dengan dia almost sama masa kecik.Hurm.AKu tak taw.Cuba la compare yea.:).Tapi gambaq baru2 nih, mata dia sangat sepet.Macam abah aku.ehehe.Tak ikut mama dengan abah dia pun.Sorry cik ala n cik ba. Ekeke...:)..mungkin bila dah besa ikut muka mama abah dia.=p...
ini namanya Nurul Fitrilina zaman doolu-doolu.:D

ini pulak Aishah Khadija 3bulan yang lalu.Sekarang dia dah 8 bulan.
Banding tengok dengan muka kak sepupu dia yang kat atas tu.Still thinking whether
both of us has similarities or not..hmm.
(actually gambar di atas kurang sesuai dibandingkan kerana umur yang tidak sama.:p
tapi x kesahla.Tak dak pic Aishah yang baru.-_-)

Ok.Nak bagitaw jugak.Nak bgtaw jugak walaupun benda kecik je pun.ehehe..tadi aku dapat beli transparent kind-of-wrapper untuk buat sebagai board untuk aku conteng2 kat dalam bilik.Bila keboringan.Buat notes pon boleh.:).A4 pn aku beli.(apa2 la fi3 ni, tu pun nak crita.:p)

itu sahaja untuk saat ini.:D